He slept with someone else.

[Anonymous]

sweetbee1 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long ago was this?

FWIW, he made a total mistake by telling you.

+1. It was in bad taste and intended to make him feel superior to you.

Disagree. This dirt will come out sooner or later and could have come out when he was angry or after they married and then she'd feel even more betrayed. He told her now because he's giving her the option to stay or leave.

I'm PP and totally agree with this. He's coming clean. I don't understand why anyone would say it's wrong/ a mistake to tell OP about this.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I already stated that he told me this because the woman was a close friend of his best friends wife. I may run into her at some point while hanging out with them He didn't want me to feel caught off guard if I find out then.

I realized how stupid it was to be mad. I don't sleep around casually but I know many people do. I do feel bad that he slept with the other woman and then just broke it off, but that happens all the time. He really is a good guy. We are putting this in the past and moving forward!

[Anonymous]

Smells like a manslut.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he's serious about you, and the reason he told you now makes sense. I would not hold it against him. Then again, I have not disclosed all my parnters with DH, nor do I need to. Nor has he. Once we were exclusive, we were exclusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I already stated that he told me this because the woman was a close friend of his best friends wife. I may run into her at some point while hanging out with them He didn't want me to feel caught off guard if I find out then.

I realized how stupid it was to be mad. I don't sleep around casually but I know many people do. I do feel bad that he slept with the other woman and then just broke it off, but that happens all the time. He really is a good guy. We are putting this in the past and moving forward!

OP, please consider what some other PPs have said about figuring out what you want and owning your own feelings. Please don't demean yourself by calling your feelings "stupid." Although I think the guy sounds fine, it also seems like a really crappy way to start out your relationship: you feeling bad/mad, telling yourself you are stupid for feeling that way, and then sweeping everything under the rug to move forward. Take some time to acknowledge your feelings. There is nothing wrong with telling him that you want to think some more before making a decision about becoming exclusive.

[Anonymous]

It's not stupid to feel mad, hurt etc. But if you really like the guy, I don't think he technically did anything wrong nor did he cheat on you after only two dates. Would I like it, no, but it wouldn't throw away the relationship becasue of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I already stated that he told me this because the woman was a close friend of his best friends wife. I may run into her at some point while hanging out with them He didn't want me to feel caught off guard if I find out then.

I realized how stupid it was to be mad. I don't sleep around casually but I know many people do. I do feel bad that he slept with the other woman and then just broke it off, but that happens all the time. He really is a good guy. We are putting this in the past and moving forward!

OP, please consider what some other PPs have said about figuring out what you want and owning your own feelings. Please don't demean yourself by calling your feelings "stupid." Although I think the guy sounds fine, it also seems like a really crappy way to start out your relationship: you feeling bad/mad, telling yourself you are stupid for feeling that way, and then sweeping everything under the rug to move forward. Take some time to acknowledge your feelings. There is nothing wrong with telling him that you want to think some more before making a decision about becoming exclusive.

OP here. I'm not diminimizing my feelings. It's just not a big deal to me. If he were to sleep with some in right before asking me to be exclusive, it would be different, and I would be gone. We were strangers we that point. I can't fault him for doing something when he barely knew me or where our relationship would go. I value his honesty. We are moving on.