Judging kids in frugal families

[Anonymous]

We bought a cheap backpack from Disney store and it fell apart right away! So I splurged just a bit for LL Bean and it's lasted two years. I figure we'll keep it one more year and then get a new, bigger one for her last 3 years at ES.

I don't think anyone really cares what young kids are wearing. As they get older, they'll care more. Save your money for the middle school/high school years when there is more pressure to look a certain way. I knew when I moved into a wealthy HS boundary that I'd have to increase the clothing budget for my daughter. She'll have enough battles to fight in her life; I don't want feeling like an outsider because of her clothes to be one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This must be a troll. No one decides to upgrade their car to impress their kids' K peers. Anyone with this crazy needy attitude has already clawed their way into a McMansion and is posting "You must be jealous" on the Real Estate forum....

I'd consider upgrading a 20-year-old car for safety reasons, though.

[Anonymous]

I'm poor an we live in NWDC. I worried about his clothing for a second but then forgot about it. Kids don't care about clothing or stuff. They leave their clothes all over the place. The "nicest" brand I've seen laying around is The North Face.
They really don't care about it because the stuff is available for all, rich or poor. Even the poorest can afford it if they planned for it.
We cared back in a day in SU when nothing was available in stores. It was exciting to get a new t-shirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We bought a cheap backpack from Disney store and it fell apart right away! So I splurged just a bit for LL Bean and it's lasted two years. I figure we'll keep it one more year and then get a new, bigger one for her last 3 years at ES.

I don't think anyone really cares what young kids are wearing. As they get older, they'll care more. Save your money for the middle school/high school years when there is more pressure to look a certain way. I knew when I moved into a wealthy HS boundary that I'd have to increase the clothing budget for my daughter. She'll have enough battles to fight in her life; I don't want feeling like an outsider because of her clothes to be one of them.

Our Disney store one fell apart too really quickly. They wouldn't replace it as it was a gift/no receipt. Our Toys R Us cheap fabric one is on year two.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP is cheap not poor . YUCK

I'm "cheap," not poor, too. Why, "yuck?" I imagine my investment accounts, retirement accounts, rental properties, jewelry, etc. exceed yours but my kids are almost always in hand me downs and thrift store finds. You'd never know it: Justice, Under Armour, Nike, Land's End, etc. I'll "yuk" it up all the way to the bank and teach my kids a lesson, too.

My parents were frugal, I am the opposite.
It was shutty seeing other people have more and better stuff.
Hope your bank account makes you happy.
We go to Cayman and Europe annually.

Did you not read my post? Other kids don't have more or better stuff.

Which do you think my kids will appreciate a decade from now: that their college and, if they wish, graduate schools, are paid for, they will never have to worry about taking care of their parents, took nice vacations (Ireland, Canada, and Yellowstone were our last 3), etc OR that their mom and dad drove BMWs/Mercedes, leased new cars every few years, lived in huge homes and they will have to forge their eat through college including massive debt accumulation? Hmmmmmm...

I would rather have the parents who spent money on clothes and fun.

Different priorities, I guess. Hope you feel the same way in 20 years and are happy you spent $40 on a shirt for a child that was later donated and bought by me for my kid for $3. I know I'll be happy with our choices then. If you will be, too, then great! Your choices help mine!!

You are getting ripped off. I hav gotten stuff new for that price or cheaper. Then resell it to people like you.

I used it as an example. I rarely spend more than $1 on an item of clothing. I don't resell...I pass them on to friends who can use them when we finish with them, with rare exception. My child is in a sport that has specialized clothing. I buy it typically for $3-$4 at a thirft shop, we use them, and then resell them for $15 each on Ebay. Other than that we pass on all reuseble clothing to friends.

No one is going to buy a very used shirt for $15. You can get them new at the discount stores cheaper.

[Anonymous]

Clothes are so cheap these days, especially kids clothes, that it doesn't make sense to buy used. You can get good quality shorts and t shirts for $5 each at any mall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Luckily you have a boy OP. They are pretty clueless about what they wear. My son is 11 and pretty much doesn't care what he puts on. I do buy some UA, Nike and Adidas stuff at the consignment store where I will sell it back 2-3 yrs later. Also, Marshalls is great for those brands as is Kohls (love Kohls cash). Don't even think about clothes until 4th or 5th grade though. Boys don't notice or care.

My son cares. He's 6. You are lucky. My kid loves UA, Nike Adidas stuff as well as Gap, Old Navy and a few other brands. I buy ahead as its not like the styles for boys change that much. Several boys I know care.

[Anonymous]

Definitely some boys care. DS has a lot of nice clothes mostly from Nordstrom's that relatives gave him but all he wants is Old Navy like his friends. So there's that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am poor (so, by default, so is my daughter) and one thing I always felt that would make her stand out was if her pants were too short. I may have bought them from super cheap places, but she's never worn high water pants.

She's 13 and still never owned anything by Under Armor or gotten a passport. Somehow happy with lots of nice friends despite that.

OP, I think you should judge yourself, and harshly, if you'd seriously consider getting rid of a 20 yr old car because of what kindergartners and their parents might think of you for having it. Shame on you. Why would you even WANT to be friends with anyone who'd judge you for living in a condo?

DH was very poor growing up and the memory of wearing high water pants still bothers him. That's the one aspect of our kids' clothing he cares about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is cheap not poor . YUCK

I'm "cheap," not poor, too. Why, "yuck?" I imagine my investment accounts, retirement accounts, rental properties, jewelry, etc. exceed yours but my kids are almost always in hand me downs and thrift store finds. You'd never know it: Justice, Under Armour, Nike, Land's End, etc. I'll "yuk" it up all the way to the bank and teach my kids a lesson, too.

My parents were frugal, I am the opposite.
It was shutty seeing other people have more and better stuff.
Hope your bank account makes you happy.
We go to Cayman and Europe annually.

Being frugal is considered a virtue everywhere apart from here, the country of massive consumerism, credit card debt and personal bankruptcies.

It is BECAUSE we are frugal that we can afford occasional fancy vacations to Asia and Europe. We choose to tighten our belts for that, or to save for college, or buy less house to afford the great public school neighborhood.

The person saying yuck is either lucky enough to be able to afford the life she wants, or too blind to see financial catastrophe coming her way. She should have more respect for others' choices.

Of it is such a virtue way does OP try to cover it up and fit in?

[Anonymous]

To summarize the thread, most people won't judge you or your child based on material goods, but many people will find some reason to judge you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We bought a cheap backpack from Disney store and it fell apart right away! So I splurged just a bit for LL Bean and it's lasted two years. I figure we'll keep it one more year and then get a new, bigger one for her last 3 years at ES.

I don't think anyone really cares what young kids are wearing. As they get older, they'll care more. Save your money for the middle school/high school years when there is more pressure to look a certain way. I knew when I moved into a wealthy HS boundary that I'd have to increase the clothing budget for my daughter. She'll have enough battles to fight in her life; I don't want feeling like an outsider because of her clothes to be one of them.

I STILL have my LL Bean backpack from high school. It's over 20 years old and looks great! I am a minimalist and almost nothing survives in my house if it doesn't remain useful. My DH uses the backpack for taking stuff to work sometimes and we use it on hikes now and then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To summarize the thread, most people won't judge you or your child based on material goods, but many people will find some reason to judge you.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is cheap not poor . YUCK

I'm "cheap," not poor, too. Why, "yuck?" I imagine my investment accounts, retirement accounts, rental properties, jewelry, etc. exceed yours but my kids are almost always in hand me downs and thrift store finds. You'd never know it: Justice, Under Armour, Nike, Land's End, etc. I'll "yuk" it up all the way to the bank and teach my kids a lesson, too.

My parents were frugal, I am the opposite.
It was shutty seeing other people have more and better stuff.
Hope your bank account makes you happy.
We go to Cayman and Europe annually.

Did you not read my post? Other kids don't have more or better stuff.

Which do you think my kids will appreciate a decade from now: that their college and, if they wish, graduate schools, are paid for, they will never have to worry about taking care of their parents, took nice vacations (Ireland, Canada, and Yellowstone were our last 3), etc OR that their mom and dad drove BMWs/Mercedes, leased new cars every few years, lived in huge homes and they will have to forge their eat through college including massive debt accumulation? Hmmmmmm...

I would rather have the parents who spent money on clothes and fun.

Different priorities, I guess. Hope you feel the same way in 20 years and are happy you spent $40 on a shirt for a child that was later donated and bought by me for my kid for $3. I know I'll be happy with our choices then. If you will be, too, then great! Your choices help mine!!

You are getting ripped off. I hav gotten stuff new for that price or cheaper. Then resell it to people like you.

I used it as an example. I rarely spend more than $1 on an item of clothing. I don't resell...I pass them on to friends who can use them when we finish with them, with rare exception. My child is in a sport that has specialized clothing. I buy it typically for $3-$4 at a thirft shop, we use them, and then resell them for $15 each on Ebay. Other than that we pass on all reuseble clothing to friends.

No one is going to buy a very used shirt for $15. You can get them new at the discount stores cheaper.

Save your eye roll, as optometry misread my post. I said I don't resell anything but the specialized clothing on child uses for a sport. That is what I sell for $15 on ebay. All other items I buy from thrift shops are passed on to friends, free. Did I ever mention a used shirt? The specialized sport clothing that I sell on ebay is not a used shirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is cheap not poor . YUCK

I'm "cheap," not poor, too. Why, "yuck?" I imagine my investment accounts, retirement accounts, rental properties, jewelry, etc. exceed yours but my kids are almost always in hand me downs and thrift store finds. You'd never know it: Justice, Under Armour, Nike, Land's End, etc. I'll "yuk" it up all the way to the bank and teach my kids a lesson, too.

My parents were frugal, I am the opposite.
It was shutty seeing other people have more and better stuff.
Hope your bank account makes you happy.
We go to Cayman and Europe annually.

Did you not read my post? Other kids don't have more or better stuff.

Which do you think my kids will appreciate a decade from now: that their college and, if they wish, graduate schools, are paid for, they will never have to worry about taking care of their parents, took nice vacations (Ireland, Canada, and Yellowstone were our last 3), etc OR that their mom and dad drove BMWs/Mercedes, leased new cars every few years, lived in huge homes and they will have to forge their eat through college including massive debt accumulation? Hmmmmmm...

I would rather have the parents who spent money on clothes and fun.

Different priorities, I guess. Hope you feel the same way in 20 years and are happy you spent $40 on a shirt for a child that was later donated and bought by me for my kid for $3. I know I'll be happy with our choices then. If you will be, too, then great! Your choices help mine!!

You are getting ripped off. I hav gotten stuff new for that price or cheaper. Then resell it to people like you.

I used it as an example. I rarely spend more than $1 on an item of clothing. I don't resell...I pass them on to friends who can use them when we finish with them, with rare exception. My child is in a sport that has specialized clothing. I buy it typically for $3-$4 at a thirft shop, we use them, and then resell them for $15 each on Ebay. Other than that we pass on all reuseble clothing to friends.

No one is going to buy a very used shirt for $15. You can get them new at the discount stores cheaper.

Save your eye roll, as optometry misread my post. I said I don't resell anything but the specialized clothing on child uses for a sport. That is what I sell for $15 on ebay. All other items I buy from thrift shops are passed on to friends, free. Did I ever mention a used shirt? The specialized sport clothing that I sell on ebay is not a used shirt.

Optometry= you

On = one