Judging kids in frugal families

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of K kids at the school wear I teach wear the school spirit wear.

So uncool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]Clothes are important in K.[/b] your car not so much but in a couple years it will be.

Important to whom?

[Anonymous]

We live well below our means, which bugs me but yet, gives me comfort. Our home is small compared to my son's friend's homes, and there have been comments said. My son's answer was "my house may be small but I have the best mom". We've never bought into the house hype - the bigger, the better - and never will as long as my DH is alive. Here's the thing, if you're raising your kids right, they understand material items won't make you happy and it's ok to wait and save for something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live well below our means, which bugs me but yet, gives me comfort. Our home is small compared to my son's friend's homes, and there have been comments said. My son's answer was "my house may be small but I have the best mom". We've never bought into the house hype - the bigger, the better - and never will as long as my DH is alive. Here's the thing, if you're raising your kids right, they understand material items won't make you happy and it's ok to wait and save for something.

You, um, sound angry about your DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is cheap not poor . YUCK

I'm "cheap," not poor, too. Why, "yuck?" I imagine my investment accounts, retirement accounts, rental properties, jewelry, etc. exceed yours but my kids are almost always in hand me downs and thrift store finds. You'd never know it: Justice, Under Armour, Nike, Land's End, etc. I'll "yuk" it up all the way to the bank and teach my kids a lesson, too.

I'm cheap, too! My kid knows he has cheap parents, and doesn't give a hoot as he's confident and self assured. He knows he'll never live in 6K sq. ft. home but he doesn't care. We take nice vacations, have rental properties, our retirement accts. are funded and have money saved for a rainy day. My kid doesn't get everything he wants, and if he wants something that we won't buy, he saves for it and he's 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live well below our means, which bugs me but yet, gives me comfort. Our home is small compared to my son's friend's homes, and there have been comments said. My son's answer was "my house may be small but I have the best mom". We've never bought into the house hype - the bigger, the better - and never will as long as my DH is alive. Here's the thing, if you're raising your kids right, they understand material items won't make you happy and it's ok to wait and save for something.

You, um, sound angry about your DH.

No, I actually appreciate his thriftiness, as I know if one of loses our job, our lifestyle won't change. I'm not a natural saver, but I've learned an appreciation for my DH after 20 years of being together.

[Anonymous]

We have a seven figure income. My kid really wanted a Minecraft backpack last year and I ordered one on amazon that shipped from China. It was cheap and poorly made but my kid loved it. Sometimes my kids wear pants that are too short. Younger child wears hand me downs. Of course they have nicer clothes but we are all about comfort.

[Anonymous]

I think the underlying sentiment that is bothering me about some of these posts is that it's okay to be frugal and that should not be judged. But to be poor... Heavens to Betsy!

I grew up poor. Now solidly middle class. No way in hell I'm paying full price for anything for my kindergartener who grows like a weed and drops food or gets grass stains on every item of clothing, even socks it seems.

And the car? That's the red flag that op is pulling our legs, right? What kindergartner can tell the model year of a car?

Or the real question is will the student's parents judge me? That may happen, but it's a decent way to sort out real friends from superficial ones.

As they get older, though, it gets tougher. I feel like it was around fifth grade when I first started to feel inferior because my jeans weren't Guess and my tops were not Gap and I didn't have a hard Rock Cafe t shirt. I'm not sure yet how I'll navigate those waters when my kids start to care about brands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am poor (so, by default, so is my daughter) and one thing I always felt that would make her stand out was if her pants were too short. I may have bought them from super cheap places, but she's never worn high water pants.

She's 13 and still never owned anything by Under Armor or gotten a passport. Somehow happy with lots of nice friends despite that.

OP, I think you should judge yourself, and harshly, if you'd seriously consider getting rid of a 20 yr old car because of what kindergartners and their parents might think of you for having it. Shame on you. Why would you even WANT to be friends with anyone who'd judge you for living in a condo?

PP. Scolding the OP was really unnecessary. Try to be less of a cunt in the future, mkay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is cheap not poor . YUCK

I'm "cheap," not poor, too. Why, "yuck?" I imagine my investment accounts, retirement accounts, rental properties, jewelry, etc. exceed yours but my kids are almost always in hand me downs and thrift store finds. You'd never know it: Justice, Under Armour, Nike, Land's End, etc. I'll "yuk" it up all the way to the bank and teach my kids a lesson, too.

My parents were frugal, I am the opposite.
It was shutty seeing other people have more and better stuff.
Hope your bank account makes you happy.
We go to Cayman and Europe annually.

Did you not read my post? Other kids don't have more or better stuff.

Which do you think my kids will appreciate a decade from now: that their college and, if they wish, graduate schools, are paid for, they will never have to worry about taking care of their parents, took nice vacations (Ireland, Canada, and Yellowstone were our last 3), etc OR that their mom and dad drove BMWs/Mercedes, leased new cars every few years, lived in huge homes and they will have to forge their eat through college including massive debt accumulation? Hmmmmmm...

I would rather have the parents who spent money on clothes and fun.

Different priorities, I guess. Hope you feel the same way in 20 years and are happy you spent $40 on a shirt for a child that was later donated and bought by me for my kid for $3. I know I'll be happy with our choices then. If you will be, too, then great! Your choices help mine!!

You are getting ripped off. I hav gotten stuff new for that price or cheaper. Then resell it to people like you.

[Anonymous]

Luckily you have a boy OP. They are pretty clueless about what they wear. My son is 11 and pretty much doesn't care what he puts on. I do buy some UA, Nike and Adidas stuff at the consignment store where I will sell it back 2-3 yrs later. Also, Marshalls is great for those brands as is Kohls (love Kohls cash). Don't even think about clothes until 4th or 5th grade though. Boys don't notice or care.

[Anonymous]

"
I am poor (so, by default, so is my daughter) and one thing I always felt that would make her stand out was if her pants were too short. I may have bought them from super cheap places, but she's never worn high water pants. "

my kids always end up with high water pants mostly because I just don't notice their pants until they are short all of a sudden. Unless a kid is otherwise unkempt, i'd assume they had a harebrained mom like me not that they are poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is cheap not poor . YUCK

I'm "cheap," not poor, too. Why, "yuck?" I imagine my investment accounts, retirement accounts, rental properties, jewelry, etc. exceed yours but my kids are almost always in hand me downs and thrift store finds. You'd never know it: Justice, Under Armour, Nike, Land's End, etc. I'll "yuk" it up all the way to the bank and teach my kids a lesson, too.

My parents were frugal, I am the opposite.
It was shutty seeing other people have more and better stuff.
Hope your bank account makes you happy.
We go to Cayman and Europe annually.

Did you not read my post? Other kids don't have more or better stuff.

Which do you think my kids will appreciate a decade from now: that their college and, if they wish, graduate schools, are paid for, they will never have to worry about taking care of their parents, took nice vacations (Ireland, Canada, and Yellowstone were our last 3), etc OR that their mom and dad drove BMWs/Mercedes, leased new cars every few years, lived in huge homes and they will have to forge their eat through college including massive debt accumulation? Hmmmmmm...

I would rather have the parents who spent money on clothes and fun.

Different priorities, I guess. Hope you feel the same way in 20 years and are happy you spent $40 on a shirt for a child that was later donated and bought by me for my kid for $3. I know I'll be happy with our choices then. If you will be, too, then great! Your choices help mine!!

You are getting ripped off. I hav gotten stuff new for that price or cheaper. Then resell it to people like you.

I used it as an example. I rarely spend more than $1 on an item of clothing. I don't resell...I pass them on to friends who can use them when we finish with them, with rare exception. My child is in a sport that has specialized clothing. I buy it typically for $3-$4 at a thirft shop, we use them, and then resell them for $15 each on Ebay. Other than that we pass on all reuseble clothing to friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're poor. My kid is in private. Uniform policy is the best thing that could have happened to us. It even covers jewelry (plain gold studs only and just a single hole per ear)

I wish public schools would implement uniforms!

This. I went to school in India, all public and private schools have uniforms. It's so much better for the kids as well as the parents.

[Anonymous]

This must be a troll. No one decides to upgrade their car to impress their kids' K peers. Anyone with this crazy needy attitude has already clawed their way into a McMansion and is posting "You must be jealous" on the Real Estate forum....