Judging kids in frugal families
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Anonymous
| I tend to live below my means. DS will start kindergarten in the fall, and I don't want him to be judged/excluded by other kids and parents. Please advise: are there certain backpack, lunchbox, clothing brands that he should have? Would you adversely judge a family who chooses to live in a condo or townhouse rather than a SFH? Finally, should I get rid of my late 90s car? |
Anonymous
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None of this matters.
FWIW I prefer getting fewer, but nice clothing and backpacks, and then keeping them longer and making sure they're washed well. |
Anonymous
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Nobody notices this stuff. In kindergarten, there are so many kids as part of a larger school system. There will be lots of things to judge about but this is not one. I got my child all the "right" PBK backpack, matching, monogrammed everything. All she talked about was so-and-so's Frozen backpack that I could have bought at Marshall's for $10. Don't sweat it!
**Except for Graco stroller. Obviously not that 
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Anonymous
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I am poor (so, by default, so is my daughter) and one thing I always felt that would make her stand out was if her pants were too short. I may have bought them from super cheap places, but she's never worn high water pants.
She's 13 and still never owned anything by Under Armor or gotten a passport. Somehow happy with lots of nice friends despite that. OP, I think you should judge yourself, and harshly, if you'd seriously consider getting rid of a 20 yr old car because of what kindergartners and their parents might think of you for having it. Shame on you. Why would you even WANT to be friends with anyone who'd judge you for living in a condo? |
Anonymous
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[quote=Anonymous]I tend to live below my means. DS will start kindergarten in the fall, and I don't want him to be judged/excluded by other kids and parents. Please advise: are there certain backpack, lunchbox, clothing brands that he should have? Would you adversely judge a family who chooses to live in a condo or townhouse rather than a SFH? Finally, should I get rid of my late 90s car?[/quote]
Oh my goodness, you poor thing. First, who cares what other people think about the "means" by which you live? You shouldn't! You do you, and your child in turn will have the confidence to be her/himself, too. There will always be judgey people. That says more about THEM than you, and we can't live our lives jumping through hoops to impress those people. Secondly, the focus shouldn't be on external material things, but rather on the character of people on the inside. Third, I live in the ugliest house on the block, we buy clothes at Target, and I drive a late 90s car.....but I have happy kids and we have enough expendable money to actually live life instead of sitting around and looking at all our expensive material things. |
Anonymous
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[quote=Anonymous]I tend to live below my means. DS will start kindergarten in the fall, and I don't want him to be judged/excluded by other kids and parents. Please advise: [b]are there certain backpack, lunchbox, clothing brands that he should have? Would you adversely judge a family who chooses to live in a condo or townhouse rather than a SFH? Finally, should I get rid of my late 90s car?[/b][/quote]
No, no, and no. You will both do fine. |
Anonymous
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Too early to worry about this. When your kid starts to notice this (late elementary school), they can start saving their own gift/allowance money to buy brands that you won't buy them. You can show them clearance racks at outlet malls to stretch their saved dollars.
It'll be ok! |
Anonymous
| OP is cheap not poor . YUCK |
Anonymous
| if you are really a frugal mama, you'd be asking which items to buy that last the longest. I'd spend the $ and buy backpacks and lunch boxes from lands end or LL Bean. They last forever and the companies will replace them if they are defective. More than I can say about the pottery barn kids back pack that came apart at the seams after half a year of use. |
Anonymous
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The things kids judge about in kindergarten:
Who has the "best" lunch (ie, anything with sugar) Who's family has a pet Who knows the most about Frozen/baseball/Tree frogs/whatever Who took the ball at recess |
Anonymous
| Only losers care about these things. Don't be a loser. |
Anonymous
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[quote=Anonymous]I tend to live below my means. DS will start kindergarten in the fall, and I don't want him to be judged/excluded by other kids and parents. Please advise: are there certain backpack, lunchbox, clothing brands that he should have? Would you adversely judge a family who chooses to live in a condo or townhouse rather than a SFH? Finally, should I get rid of my late 90s car?[/quote]
OP in my experience (early elementary), none of your list is cause for judgment. Parents and kids I meet are very busy. They don't seem to mention or notice those things. It might change by late elementary/middle school but you have many years before that point. -Bethesda here |
Anonymous
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I haven't observed any of this in my Bethesda ES. DC is 7.
However, I have heard of bullying and exclusion based on materialistic grounds in the tween/teen years in the Churchill pyramid. I was really shocked to hear how brutal it was. I see some DCUM posters making jokes about "the poors" and making fun of people's choices in cars. It must be their kids who have such terrible attitudes. Unfortunately, it causes some kids a lot of pain. |
Anonymous
Churchill pyramid mother here - my kids are in seven locks and no one cares. At all. I can not tell the richest from the poorest child bc everyone pretty much looks the same - comfort over fashion. Don't sweat this, OP. |
Anonymous
| We're poor. My kid is in private. Uniform policy is the best thing that could have happened to us. It even covers jewelry (plain gold studs only and just a single hole per ear) |