Drastic Reduction in Female Dating Market Value after 30

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

So this MUST be a universal truth.

I remarried at age 38 with 2 children, one special needs. Maybe the real universal truth is that women should get knocked up with a few kids, divorced and THEN find their dream man. It worked for me!

Sure. Why don't I just stick my hand in to a pot of boiling water to see if the water is ready for food?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two of my guy friends the other day told me candidly that women over 30 are not desirable for long term dating or marriage. I know this to be socially true based on observation and what I hear. It just worries me because if you're over 30 and single, how can you compete with beautiful 20something women? My age kills my self esteem and I don't know how I can go ahead and compete in the dating market.

I had a couple of guy friends like yours in my younger days. I cringe now to think what sort of long term partner someone like them would have made a woman. What happens when your wife/LTP turns 30? God forbid, 40? Got some stretch marks from having kids? You get involved with a guy like that, that's what you have to look forward to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two of my guy friends the other day told me candidly that women over 30 are not desirable for long term dating or marriage. I know this to be socially true based on observation and what I hear. It just worries me because if you're over 30 and single, how can you compete with beautiful 20something women? My age kills my self esteem and I don't know how I can go ahead and compete in the dating market.

I had a couple of guy friends like yours in my younger days. I cringe now to think what sort of long term partner someone like them would have made a woman. What happens when your wife/LTP turns 30? God forbid, 40? Got some stretch marks from having kids? You get involved with a guy like that, that's what you have to look forward to.

Yes. It's so much better to stay single then end up with a guy like this. It never ends well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Stop hanging out with losers.
2. Don't attempt to compete in the "dating market." My sisters both dated into their mid-thirties and said it was dire out there. Find activities, have fun.
3. You may not be a young nubile thing anymore, but you have the self assurance one has in their thirties.

I know many that found people in their 40's, 50's and beyond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The golden age for dating (for both sexes) is about 28 to 33. You're old enough to know what you want and what you're doing, and you probably have a little cash in your pocket to make the dates interesting (dinners, trips, etc.). By the mid-30s a little bit of desperation sets in on both sides, especially for women who want to have kids, and things get a little less carefree.

Agree with this. All the women Intend to date now fall here. I did date a 37 year old for a few months. Didn't work out.

So this MUST be a universal truth.

I remarried at age 38 with 2 children, one special needs. Maybe the real universal truth is that women should get knocked up with a few kids, divorced and THEN find their dream man. It worked for me!

You probably weren't 38 when you met. Besides, your situation is rare. I wouldn't consider your within an optimal for me. But I'm also not married to you nor would I be..so there's that.

36.

I'm at the age where divorces are happening right and left. Women and men who WANT to remarry are and dating is of zero issue.

Again, just because it is your experience does not make it the norm or law.

Hell, my own mother remarried at 55 to a 56yr old. And she NEVER had a career. He's a CEO and didn't want a wife with a career, didn't want more kids, and didn't want a wife who still had kids at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The golden age for dating (for both sexes) is about 28 to 33. You're old enough to know what you want and what you're doing, and you probably have a little cash in your pocket to make the dates interesting (dinners, trips, etc.). By the mid-30s a little bit of desperation sets in on both sides, especially for women who want to have kids, and things get a little less carefree.

Agree with this. All the women Intend to date now fall here. I did date a 37 year old for a few months. Didn't work out.

So this MUST be a universal truth.

I remarried at age 38 with 2 children, one special needs. Maybe the real universal truth is that women should get knocked up with a few kids, divorced and THEN find their dream man. It worked for me!

You probably weren't 38 when you met. Besides, your situation is rare. I wouldn't consider your within an optimal for me. But I'm also not married to you nor would I be..so there's that.

36.

I'm at the age where divorces are happening right and left. Women and men who WANT to remarry are and dating is of zero issue.

Again, just because it is your experience does not make it the norm or law.

Hell, my own mother remarried at 55 to a 56yr old. And she NEVER had a career. He's a CEO and didn't want a wife with a career, didn't want more kids, and didn't want a wife who still had kids at home.

I am the "golden age" poster. I don't doubt that what you say is true, and that there is a lot of shuffle-the-deck dating that goes on post-divorce. I wonder, though, whether dating a divorced man -- potentially a divorced man with kids -- is what OP has in mind when she imagines dating at 30. If not, then perhaps -- as another poster suggested -- she'll have to start to consider saying yes to guys she would have reflexively turned down in her twenties. Or she'll just have to wait until she's 36 and divorced to tap into the market you're in now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The golden age for dating (for both sexes) is about 28 to 33. You're old enough to know what you want and what you're doing, and you probably have a little cash in your pocket to make the dates interesting (dinners, trips, etc.). By the mid-30s a little bit of desperation sets in on both sides, especially for women who want to have kids, and things get a little less carefree.

Agree with this. All the women Intend to date now fall here. I did date a 37 year old for a few months. Didn't work out.

So this MUST be a universal truth.

I remarried at age 38 with 2 children, one special needs. Maybe the real universal truth is that women should get knocked up with a few kids, divorced and THEN find their dream man. It worked for me!

You probably weren't 38 when you met. Besides, your situation is rare. I wouldn't consider your within an optimal for me. But I'm also not married to you nor would I be..so there's that.

36.

I'm at the age where divorces are happening right and left. Women and men who WANT to remarry are and dating is of zero issue.

Again, just because it is your experience does not make it the norm or law.

Hell, my own mother remarried at 55 to a 56yr old. And she NEVER had a career. He's a CEO and didn't want a wife with a career, didn't want more kids, and didn't want a wife who still had kids at home.

I am the "golden age" poster. I don't doubt that what you say is true, and that there is a lot of shuffle-the-deck dating that goes on post-divorce. I wonder, though, whether dating a divorced man -- potentially a divorced man with kids -- is what OP has in mind when she imagines dating at 30. If not, then perhaps -- as another poster suggested -- she'll have to start to consider saying yes to guys she would have reflexively turned down in her twenties. Or she'll just have to wait until she's 36 and divorced to tap into the market you're in now.

I agree with this a lot. I'm a divorced make with a daughter. Most women are actually ok with this. Some aren't. It only becomes an issue when they don't like the fact I put her first. When Inhave her for a weekend, it's just her and I and maybe her friends. Some women don't like that.

In any case, you're right, 28-33 is great age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It just worries me because if you're over 30 and single, how can you compete with beautiful 20something women? My age kills my self esteem and I don't know how I can go ahead and compete in the dating market.

Here's the truth: you can't.

Here's what you CAN do to compete: You have to be proactive, i.e., GASP, ask men out! You also have to lower your standards. Say yes to men you wouldn't have said yes to when you were in your 20s and you could afford to reject 9 out of 10 men because you had so many opportunities. In short ,you can't sit on your ass like you did in your 20s and let the world come to you.

Yup

[Anonymous]

Dating market value after 30 is dependent on the dating market you are appealing to: 1) the "have fun" market or the 2) "serious relationship" market.

These days, many beautiful 20something aren't looking for real commitments. Their focus is on advancing their education and careers. If they meet a mate and hit it off on the way, then great. But marriage and/or family are not a high priority. In your mid-30s, it generally becomes a higher priority (men and women included).

If you are over 30, dating people in the "have fun" market, then yes, your value will most definitely be lower, relative to competition. Dating for the sake of dating at this age is generally a losing proposition. Especially for women.
So if you are over 30, and want more than fling, then make sure those expectations are clear with whoever you are dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha they sound like MRAs. Be glad you will be off their dating radar and carry on happily. It's a bunch of bollocks thought up by miserable men who know that women are ALWAYS going to have more options than men (and they resent that)

Just laugh and disregard

Well, actually, the odds turn in men's favor after 29. I mean, look at all the ugly dweebs married to decent looking women in this area. Sometimes, one thinks,who would marry these guys? Must be the money.

I haven't seen that at all. In fact, in DC most of my girlfriends are married to guys I would consider hotter than them (And I'm bi, so I'm unbiased)

Sorry dweebs- stick to your waifus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post reads like it was started by a male troll.

+1

The truth is no woman would care if someone said that to her. She'd just shrug and think "Well, I'm glad I wont be on these losers' radar then."

[Anonymous]

Men just hope and pray women will internalize this misogynistic bullshit. Keep trying, fellas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men just hope and pray women will internalize this misogynistic bullshit. Keep trying, fellas.

And it's funny cause it's failed so hard

[Anonymous]

Yes, because no single woman in the world would ever wonder if her dating prospects would shrink as she got older....

[Anonymous]

I'm a man who got married just before I turned 30. If I started dating at 15 or 16 and met my wife at 27, that's almost 12 years of dating. Who in their right mind would want to date for more years and play those dumb assed games?