Is something wrong with him or is he just a brat?

[Anonymous]

OP here: I give TONS of praise; in fact I mean it- every time he does well at a venue or on a situation I am so happy that I sincerely say something along the lines of: I really liked be way you handled this and that today; great job, proud of you!
On authority: yes it is an issue for me generally- asserting myself in many situations. More specifically- I do great when people respond to positive attitude, respect, acknowledgement and such; but I am totally lost when I face a need to enforce, make a strong point, push, make people do what they don't want to do, and such.
There are days when my son is cooperative - I feel so much better, we have a great time together- I talk to him, read with him, suggest fun stuff. I don't know why he chooses to argue, insist, try to talk me into stuff... I think it has more to do with his personality. He is not easily startled, I hardly noticed any childish fears in him, and his dad is also very oppositional- to a point where it becomes absurd- I used to attribute this to nurture but maybe it's nature after all. My son also loves to challenge, push, roughhouse, he loves martial arts. I, on the other hand, is soft spoken, try to be nice always, and prone to avoidance as a coping mechanism.
I also noticed that my kid is nicest when he is physically less than a 100%- recovering after an illness or even after he was up super early for the day! So maybe it's the bursting at the seams that happens from too much energy I am relatively low on energy generally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:brat

What a horrible person you are for calling a child that name.

[Anonymous]

OP, when my oldest started KG, she went from easy peasy to talking back, yelling, disrespectful, etc.

It was the LONG day! Before KG, she had been in a 3 days/3 hours/day preschool.

The change was horrible. Now, 8 years later, we sometimes talk about it. She says she hated KG. Kids were rude, some screamed, and the teacher was always with the misbehaved kids.

Her 1st grade teacher was amazing; my DD became happier.

Imagine working 8-3 in chaos. Of course, when u got to your safe place, you'd unwind.

Your child is unwinding as best his young mind can.

[Anonymous]

PP, he is def not a fan of school. He was in preschool 5 days a week 9-3, but I am guessing it was very different.
I should probably have kept him back a year but it's not as easy where we live.
--OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the red dye poster...

I am not the OP, but intrigued by the dye issues. Did you find them all equally harmful, or is one particularly bad? Also, what other foods besides the usual suspects (junk food) did you find them in? Any surprises?

Red is definitely the worst for us. You just have to know that purple, pink, and orange (and sometimes brown) are made from red. We generally avoid all color by eating organic sweets (organic jelly beans at Easter etc.) and otherwise not buying sugary drinks that are colored. Watch out for things like colored sprinkles at the cupcake party at school, M&M cookies etc.

My son might get an occasional sprite but not an Orange Fanta. If he is in a situation where he feels compelled to join the rest of the team in eating a popsicle, he son has gotten used to picking the yellow one. (no red).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the red dye poster...

I am not the OP, but intrigued by the dye issues. Did you find them all equally harmful, or is one particularly bad? Also, what other foods besides the usual suspects (junk food) did you find them in? Any surprises?

Red is definitely the worst for us. You just have to know that purple, pink, and orange (and sometimes brown) are made from red. We generally avoid all color by eating organic sweets (organic jelly beans at Easter etc.) and otherwise not buying sugary drinks that are colored. Watch out for things like colored sprinkles at the cupcake party at school, M&M cookies etc.

My son might get an occasional sprite but not an Orange Fanta. If he is in a situation where he feels compelled to join the rest of the team in eating a popsicle, he son has gotten used to picking the yellow one. (no red).

OOH. Almost forgot. Medicine. Must buy the dye free!

[Anonymous]

Just be consistent and enforce the rules. That's what children need - a parent, not a bestie. He is getting to an age where he is testing boundaries and you need to keep it up. It's exhausting but worth it in the end. I know some families attribute their kid's bad behavior to sugar, screen time, red dye, gluten, strep, exhaustion from school...and that might truly be the case for them.
In our case most of the bad behavior develops at transition times (leaving the playground to go home from school, turning off the TV to get ready for dinner, bedtime and bathtime, getting ready for school are the usual crunch points.) We try and give a lot of notice. We ask them what they think will happen if they don't listen. We stick to our guns. We tell them we will always love them but that if they don't XYZ they can't use the iPad or whatever. They are getting it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, he is def not a fan of school. He was in preschool 5 days a week 9-3, but I am guessing it was very different.
I should probably have kept him back a year but it's not as easy where we live.
--OP

In VA you can hold back in KG with only parent request. Once in 1st, you need school approval.