Is something wrong with him or is he just a brat?

[Anonymous]

DS is 6, he is in K.
He was an easy kid, always. Not super easy but normal.
Now, when he started K, maybe about 2-3 months into it, he started being quite defiant and frankly rude and disrespectful. There are times when he is a model kid. But there are also times where he would scream, kick, say things like "shut up" or "you're stupid". He goes to his room if it happens at home, or to a quiet place if we are out and about, and he loses screen time, but it happens again and again.
Two recent examples:
1. I pick him up from school, he refuses to wear a helmet and takes off on his scooter. Does not listen, is rude and is trying to be bossy. I announce no screen time. He starts screaming again, kicking in the car etc. loses more screen time. I announce that he is to lose screen time every time he is rude to me, or does not listen, or starts screaming after pick up. It works for now but it's not the first time

2. We are at a play place, he picks up another child's toy, does t give it back, finally throws it away. I come up to him and say- no, this is not how you give a toy back. Could you pick it up and hand it to the boy? He starts kicking me (barefoot) and screaming; we are leaving, he starts yelling "you're stupid". We are outside,I explain what he did wrong so no screen time today. At home he has a tantrum again as he remembers no screen time; slams a door, hits me- loses one more day of screen time.

What is going on??? Is it normal at this age? I tend to let little things go, but am pretty consistent with consequences for big tantrums like that one.
Maybe something is wrong with him? Why does he keep doing it??

[Anonymous]

When my easy going kid turned into a monster like that, it was strep. There is constant strep going around MCPS.

[Anonymous]

How is he sleeping? My kiddo is out of sorts when he doesn't sleep well.

[Anonymous]

Also could be his diet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is he sleeping? My kiddo is out of sorts when he doesn't sleep well.

This. My LO is in k this year and she went off the rails for awhile. We finally realized that her day was so long that she really wasn't getting enough sleep. Earlier bedtime and consistent expectations and she was back to her self.

[Anonymous]

He sounds exhausted! Full-day Kindergarten is a long, busy, rules-filled day and he is trying to "keep it together" at school. When he sees you at the end of the day he falls apart as he doesn't have to hold it together anymore. Put him to bed earlier at night and see what happens.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely put him to bed earlier. My son is a monster with even a little bit less sleep. What time does he go to bed?

You said you let little things go. Maybe it was too much? I think that's how these things escalate. A neighbor's son calls everything "stupid" because he thinks it's funny and gets a laugh. His mom and dad let it go because it's not that big of a deal, but then he started calling them stupid and other kids and even a teacher stupid--it had gotten out of hand.

With the helmet incident--I would sit him down and say if he does that one more time you're giving the scooter away to a kid that appreciates it and will follow the rules to just have a scooter since not all parents can afford to give their kids a scooter. Then mean it. This is the time. He scoots on it one more time without a helmet, you give it away to a shelter or somewhere else. This is the right time to make a huge lesson impact your child. Tell him he can earn one back in 50 days by being good each day and then that $50 can buy a new scooter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is 6, he is in K.
He was an easy kid, always. Not super easy but normal.
Now, when he started K, maybe about 2-3 months into it, he started being quite defiant and frankly rude and disrespectful. There are times when he is a model kid. But there are also times where he would scream, kick, say things like "shut up" or "you're stupid". He goes to his room if it happens at home, or to a quiet place if we are out and about, and he loses screen time, but it happens again and again.
Two recent examples:
1. I pick him up from school, he refuses to wear a helmet and takes off on his scooter. Does not listen, is rude and is trying to be bossy. I announce no screen time. He starts screaming again, kicking in the car etc. loses more screen time. I announce that he is to lose screen time every time he is rude to me, or does not listen, or starts screaming after pick up. It works for now but it's not the first time

2. We are at a play place, he picks up another child's toy, does t give it back, finally throws it away. I come up to him and say- no, this is not how you give a toy back. Could you pick it up and hand it to the boy? He starts kicking me (barefoot) and screaming; we are leaving, he starts yelling "you're stupid". We are outside,I explain what he did wrong so no screen time today. At home he has a tantrum again as he remembers no screen time; slams a door, hits me- loses one more day of screen time.

What is going on??? Is it normal at this age? I tend to let little things go, but am pretty consistent with consequences for big tantrums like that one.
Maybe something is wrong with him? Why does he keep doing it??

Get rid of that screen. It will continue to ruin him. Maybe year it'll be ok to use it, but not now. Just try it for 21 days. You'll have a new child.
I guarantee it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is 6, he is in K.
He was an easy kid, always. Not super easy but normal.
Now, when he started K, maybe about 2-3 months into it, he started being quite defiant and frankly rude and disrespectful. There are times when he is a model kid. But there are also times where he would scream, kick, say things like "shut up" or "you're stupid". He goes to his room if it happens at home, or to a quiet place if we are out and about, and he loses screen time, but it happens again and again.
Two recent examples:
1. I pick him up from school, he refuses to wear a helmet and takes off on his scooter. Does not listen, is rude and is trying to be bossy. I announce no screen time. He starts screaming again, kicking in the car etc. loses more screen time. I announce that he is to lose screen time every time he is rude to me, or does not listen, or starts screaming after pick up. It works for now but it's not the first time

2. We are at a play place, he picks up another child's toy, does t give it back, finally throws it away. I come up to him and say- no, this is not how you give a toy back. Could you pick it up and hand it to the boy? He starts kicking me (barefoot) and screaming; we are leaving, he starts yelling "you're stupid". We are outside,I explain what he did wrong so no screen time today. At home he has a tantrum again as he remembers no screen time; slams a door, hits me- loses one more day of screen time.

What is going on??? Is it normal at this age? I tend to let little things go, but am pretty consistent with consequences for big tantrums like that one.
Maybe something is wrong with him? Why does he keep doing it??

Get rid of that screen. It will continue to ruin him. Maybe year it'll be ok to use it, but not now. Just try it for 21 days. You'll have a new child.
I guarantee it.

*next year

[Anonymous]

I think anytime there is a sudden behavior change, it's caused by something. Fatigue, anxiety, hunger, overwhelm. He probably doesn't know and can't articulate it but see if you can give him some words for it - like maybe your tummy feels funny when you're anxious, does that happen at school? K was hard on 2 of my kids. In one it was anxiety, the other exhaustion.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I wonder how much screen time he DOES get.

I think you should ban screens from your home for a month and see if his behavior improves. Don't tell him its a month just see how it plays out.

Maybe he needs more one-on-one time from somebody?

[Anonymous]

I do not have an easy 6yr old, but he is very money motivated. He gets an allowance. We have family "fines". At any given time there are a set of 4 or so very basic rules. Each time ANY member violates the rule, they get fined. Common fines are a quarter, with major infractions (like foul language ) $2. Once we master a set of rules, we work on 4 more. The "fines" go to a family fun day, such as the movies. We've been on this system for about 6 weeks and the kids are excited to go see angry birds. It has bee incredibly motivating and their behavior has taken a 180.

[Anonymous]

My children are assholes whrn they play too much ipad. Makes them very agressive.

[Anonymous]

It's the end of the school year. Are you saying this has been going on since November?!

[Anonymous]

How is he at school? With dad? How much screen time does he get? Seems like a ton if you are constantly taking it away. Also, what does calling someone stupid have to do with screen time? Why is that awkward your go to?