The best worst reason you broke up with someone

[Anonymous]

I broke up with a guy in high school after he insisted that we sit through the entirety of the closing credits after the movie "Silence of the Lambs." For some reason, that led me to conclude he was strange (maybe) and controlling (probably unreasonable).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He went down on me - was not great at it. I pulled him up to try something else. Full of confidence, he said, "Was that like the best ever?"

"Uh, nope."

Did you articulate what you wanted him to do? Because our telepathy isn't always up to snuff.

[Anonymous]

I broke up with a guy in college because his penis was too big. I had only been with one other guy at the time. I just kind of screamed and said, "That will never fit in me." It was truly enormous.

After that my friends all referred to him as "Tripod".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He went down on me - was not great at it. I pulled him up to try something else. Full of confidence, he said, "Was that like the best ever?"

"Uh, nope."

Did you articulate what you wanted him to do? Because our telepathy isn't always up to snuff.

After about our 3 or 4th time being intimate while cuddling, she said "Am I the best lover you ever had ? "
What was I to say! Because she wasn't even close. I said nothing. I think that led to awkwardness on her part that was the beginning of the end.

[Anonymous]

I broke up with someone after about 4 months of dating because he gave me a hicky. We were both in our 30s, although he was a few years younger than me. I have a professional, graduate degree level job. He had tried to pull that crap on me before and I had communicated loud and clear with him that, as passionate as our sex life was, under no circumstances was it ok to send me off to work with a mouth bruise on my neck like a teenager. On multiple occasions I had felt him really purposefully trying to do it and I would pull him off me like a blood-sucking leech. On this last final occasion, I felt him doing it again and I stopped him and said "as much as I enjoy being with you, if you give me a hicky, I will break up with you." Twenty minutes later, he's back at it again so I just let him do it. And then left his apartment and went home. And when I woke the next morning and saw the evidence, I texted him that it was over. He said "found the hicky, heh? hahahah" or something stupid. He said he just wanted everyone to know that I "belonged" to him. Ew.

Obviously, it wasn't really over a hickey. It was just a symbol of our obvious incompatible. I didn't feel respected. Too bad, though, since the sex was pretty good and kept getting better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He went down on me - was not great at it. I pulled him up to try something else. Full of confidence, he said, "Was that like the best ever?"

"Uh, nope."

Did you articulate what you wanted him to do? Because our telepathy isn't always up to snuff.

See the above.

It's ok - he had trouble with comprehension, too

[Anonymous]

It was the 80s.

Broke up with I guy I'd been seeing for a few months, but mostly long distance. Why? I heard he bought me a "big" gift for Christmas gift of a ...leather jacket just like Tom Cruise wore on Top Gun! Horrified because Idid not think our relationship was so serious to merit such an expensive present.

Stopped returning his calls and never saw him again.

[Anonymous]

The toilet room stunk so bad after she got out of it and didn't close the door. Courtesy goes a long way.

[Anonymous]

He wore loose knit boxers (not like boxer briefs), and they skeeved me out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I broke up with a guy in high school after he insisted that we sit through the entirety of the closing credits after the movie "Silence of the Lambs." For some reason, that led me to conclude he was strange (maybe) and controlling (probably unreasonable).

Good call, you likely avoided a serial killer.

[Anonymous]

He was 17, I was 14. (Senior/freshman in high school.) He asked me to homecoming. I said yes. During the dance, he was handsy enough that my short dress inched up my thighs until my underwear were showing. My friends had to come interrupt and pull me aside to tell me the whole school could see my ass. Afterward, he kissed me goodnight not was my first kiss, and I have to assume it was his, too, because he closed his eyes BEFORE leaning in, and stuck his tongue out on the way. His tongue landed dead center in the middle of my forehead and instead of pulling away to reposition himself, he just dragged his tongue down my fully made-up face until he found my lips. We called him "the puppy" after that.

TL;DR: He hiked up my skirt on the dance floor and licked my face like a dog. Worst first date ever, and there was never a second with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He was 17, I was 14. (Senior/freshman in high school.) He asked me to homecoming. I said yes. During the dance, he was handsy enough that my short dress inched up my thighs until my underwear were showing. My friends had to come interrupt and pull me aside to tell me the whole school could see my ass. Afterward, he kissed me goodnight not was my first kiss, and I have to assume it was his, too, because he closed his eyes BEFORE leaning in, and stuck his tongue out on the way. His tongue landed dead center in the middle of my forehead and instead of pulling away to reposition himself, he just dragged his tongue down my fully made-up face until he found my lips. We called him "the puppy" after that.

TL;DR: He hiked up my skirt on the dance floor and licked my face like a dog. Worst first date ever, and there was never a second with him.

That's probably why had to ask a freshman.

[Anonymous]

He pulled off his undies and baby arm sized peen fell out. Nooooooo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He pulled off his undies and baby arm sized peen fell out. Nooooooo.

You didn't even try it?

[Anonymous]

Excessive use of hair gel.

Otherwise seemingly fantastic guy, good fit intellectually, values, humor, etc...

But I couldn't get past the hair.

So freaking shallow. I was in my early 30's and spent almost the next decade wondering if I had made a terrible mistake.