MEN ONLY- why do you have difficulties talking about your feelings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left my first marriage because my ex husband did not know how to express feelings or emotions. I felt very lonely and disconnected from him.

This pretty perfectly encapsulates how a woman's stated desire to have a man communicate his emotions is really about focusing on her emotional needs -- not a real concern about what his emotions are.

In the end, people have to take care of themselves because you can't count on somebody else.

Women do care about their husbands' emotions. By withholding and thereby putting your wives in a position to divine your needs, not only are you keeping your wives from Knowing what is going on with you, you are also burdening your wife with 1) not knowing what makes you tick and what your needs are and 2) feeling disconnected from the spouse.

Well, from one guy's perspective, this sounds like I not only need to deal with my own emotional issues. I need to add to that by also working to satisfactorily communicate my emotions to my wife. And *then* dealing with her emotional responses to that information.

Well from a woman's perspective you just described a marriage. Each person is responsible for maintaining their own mental health, or at least trying to, and to communicate well with their partner and to support their partner through anything they feel or go through.

What's lacking in your response is the wife's assumption that she has taken on that exact same burden willingly

communicate well = "words, words, and more words" for women
communicate well = "just get to the point" for men

Which means that in a good relationship, people meet in the middle instead of standing obstinately in their corners.

Yup, they have to meet in the middle. Trying to bring your spouse to "your side" will put significant stress and failed relationship.

[Anonymous]

OP: Yes those pants do make your ass look fat. And your ass makes your ass look fat.

Now shut the fuck up so I can watch some girl on girl porn and go make me a sandwich. You stupid cunts always start a conversation by trying to put him on the defensive with a completely disingenuous premise (women are straightforward lololol).

There you go. I'm a man and I expressed my true feelings directly.

Did you enjoy it?

Or are you now going to bitch, moan, castigate, and negate?

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]I'm worried that my honest straightforward and blunt personality might be causing communication problems in my relationship. I think I'm too assertive. Im working on communicating better. I'm trying to understand why men are not as straightforward with their feelings as some women. I want the male perspective on communication. What prevents a man from expressing how he truly feels about a relationship problem.

Again I want responses from men only. [/quote]

"Straightforward and blunt" in this context translates to inflexible shrill know it all bitch who cries "Misogynist!" at any man who points out that her own personality flaws cause other people including men not to want to deal with her at all, much less have sincerely intimate conversations with her.

[Anonymous]

Guys: and have you noticed when she gets a glass or two of wine in her and really chatty you never get to finish a sentence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I left my first marriage because my ex husband did not know how to express feelings or emotions. I felt very lonely and disconnected from him.

You mean he didn't know how to express himself to suit your preference.

It's not your husband s job to be responsible for your subjective emotional state. Only someone with bpd or similar personality disorders believes that others control your own emotions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left my first marriage because my ex husband did not know how to express feelings or emotions. I felt very lonely and disconnected from him.

You mean he didn't know how to express himself to suit your preference.

It's not your husband s job to be responsible for your subjective emotional state. Only someone with bpd or similar personality disorders believes that others control your own emotions.

You are making a whole bunch of assumptions without all the facts. Also you are diagnosing the pp without knowing her. If this is your typical mindset and you are are single, please remain single until you work on that problem. If you are in a relationship with this is your mindset, then this is why you are miserable and you'll stay miserable until you improve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: Yes those pants do make your ass look fat. And your ass makes your ass look fat.

Now shut the fuck up so I can watch some girl on girl porn and go make me a sandwich. You stupid cunts always start a conversation by trying to put him on the defensive with a completely disingenuous premise (women are straightforward lololol).

There you go. I'm a man and I expressed my true feelings directly.

Did you enjoy it?

Or are you now going to bitch, moan, castigate, and negate?

Only a very angry person thinks like this. A mentally stable mature man doesn't think this way. You sir, have some psychological your need to work on first in other to communicate effectively. It's your responsibility to be able to learn how to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and opinions without sounding like an ass. This is why some of you deserve to be in unhappy relationships.

[Anonymous]

Before divorce
I don't talk because I don't want to come across as a wuss.
After divorce
I don't talk because I don't want to come across as a hater.

[Anonymous]

Men don't like to talk to women because they can turn things around and make us look like the bad guy. If I'm going to have to open my feelings to my lady then either have to apologize or feel like shit later then why bother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: Yes those pants do make your ass look fat. And your ass makes your ass look fat.

Now shut the fuck up so I can watch some girl on girl porn and go make me a sandwich. You stupid cunts always start a conversation by trying to put him on the defensive with a completely disingenuous premise (women are straightforward lololol).

There you go. I'm a man and I expressed my true feelings directly.

Did you enjoy it?

Or are you now going to bitch, moan, castigate, and negate?

Only a very angry person thinks like this. A mentally stable mature man doesn't think this way. You sir, have some psychological your need to work on first in other to communicate effectively. It's your responsibility to be able to learn how to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and opinions without sounding like an ass. This is why some of you deserve to be in unhappy relationships.

Lol I actually predicted exactly what you would do and you STILL couldn't help yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left my first marriage because my ex husband did not know how to express feelings or emotions. I felt very lonely and disconnected from him.

You mean he didn't know how to express himself to suit your preference.

It's not your husband s job to be responsible for your subjective emotional state. Only someone with bpd or similar personality disorders believes that others control your own emotions.

You are making a whole bunch of assumptions without all the facts. Also you are diagnosing the pp without knowing her. If this is your typical mindset and you are are single, please remain single until you work on that problem. If you are in a relationship with this is your mindset, then this is why you are miserable and you'll stay miserable until you improve.

My some of you simply won't admit the common female intolerance for constructive criticism. But it does explain why men don't tell you what's on their minds. You just won't shut up.

[Anonymous]

NP here. A whole bunch of men explained in detail why they avoid talking with their wives about their feelings yet I predict almost no women will learn anything from this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: Yes those pants do make your ass look fat. And your ass makes your ass look fat.

Now shut the fuck up so I can watch some girl on girl porn and go make me a sandwich. You stupid cunts always start a conversation by trying to put him on the defensive with a completely disingenuous premise (women are straightforward lololol).

There you go. I'm a man and I expressed my true feelings directly.

Did you enjoy it?

Or are you now going to bitch, moan, castigate, and negate?

Those weren't feelings. Those were mean statements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: Yes those pants do make your ass look fat. And your ass makes your ass look fat.

Now shut the fuck up so I can watch some girl on girl porn and go make me a sandwich. You stupid cunts always start a conversation by trying to put him on the defensive with a completely disingenuous premise (women are straightforward lololol).

There you go. I'm a man and I expressed my true feelings directly.

Did you enjoy it?

Or are you now going to bitch, moan, castigate, and negate?

Only a very angry person thinks like this. A mentally stable mature man doesn't think this way. You sir, have some psychological your need to work on first in other to communicate effectively. It's your responsibility to be able to learn how to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and opinions without sounding like an ass. This is why some of you deserve to be in unhappy relationships.

Lol I actually predicted exactly what you would do and you STILL couldn't help yourself.

"I'm going to be a dick and someone is going to call me a dick."
"You're a dick."
"I'm a GENIUS!"

[Anonymous]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivUzfuuJNQI