What is your opinion on a guy who is a virgin in his 30's?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I don't understand the problem. You like the guy, things are moving along (slowly), yet you are asking random strangers here to volunteer reasons why you shouldn't even attempt to progress the relationship. Same with the other recent thread about the two divorced folks. It's not an ideal scenario, and someone writes in "nope, nope, just be happy with your hobbies and your grandkids".

You're looking for tips from people who are just making wild guesses. You know the guy, no one on here does.
You don't actually have a significant problem. You apparently like him. Break him in, or not.

More than anything else in the world, women care about the approval of others. A woman may meet the greatest man on earth, but if others tell her there is something wrong with him and they don't approve, she'll dump him in a heartbeat.

this poster knows what she/he is talking about.

I don't agree with that statement. Woman here,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would super judge him. That's probably wrong. But I would.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A very late bloomer and someone with anxiety issues with women.

Ya

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's gay or lying

Honestly, my first thought if a 35-year-old man told me he had never had sex would be "Asterisk: has never had heterosexual sex".

[Anonymous]

That he's super religious. Or picky.

Or maybe both.

[Anonymous]

It's not uncommon for shy, quiet people to be virgins well into adulthood. It's a secret of society that doesn't get much publicity. 35 is kind of pushing it. On the plus side, he's disease free. On the down side, he might have some deeper issues that might still linger even after you deflower him. He could have sensory issues, anxiety, or something weird about his childhood.

[Anonymous]

I hope that since this thread was posted, OP gave this guy a night he will never forget.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who is still a virgin at 35. He admitted it to me recently; it was pretty unexpected. He also admitted to having a really f'ed up childhood and to having massive insecurity issues, and he said he has some questions about whether he might be bisexual or gay. I think he may have stayed celibate because he was raised in a very catholic, traditional household and coming out as gay or bi could be very uncomfortable.

My advice was just to not worry about the gay or straight or bi thing, that it is 2016 and any of the above are acceptable in this day and age, and especially around here in DC. And that he should keep up with the therapy to try to figure out why he doesn't feel worthy of love and a normal sex life, whatever form that takes.

I'm happy to be his friend and sounding board, but couldn't date him. I have slept with a fair number of people over the years, and in my experience, a major experience gap can cause problems between partners.

[Anonymous]

Gay

[Anonymous]

super weird

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:super weird

I like weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

More than anything else in the world, women care about the approval of others. A woman may meet the greatest man on earth, but if others tell her there is something wrong with him and they don't approve, she'll dump him in a heartbeat.

this poster knows what she/he is talking about.

Because it's the god damn truth. Not that women will ever admit it.

[Anonymous]

Probably gay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not writing him off yet. I just don't know. We had our first real kiss yesterday, and that's after two months of dating without anything. Well we hug, hold hands, and he gave me an awkward peck a week ago.

Yesterday's kiss was a real kiss and a good one ( in the sense I could tell he was attracted to me), but it was obvious he was not experienced.

That's when I found out he's a virgin.

So it's odd, but maybe , it really is just one of those things.

2 months of dating and this was your first kiss?! Something is definitely up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For many it's a religious/cultural expectation to wait until marriage. If that's the case, I would consider it normal/desirable.

Yes but those cultures also push earlier marriage (in their 20s).

Not for men, who are also often expected to be more financially stable.



I know lots of men from such cultures who married in their 30s.

Me too. Early marriage is hard (and financial stability takes a while) if you emigrate to be US and have to start from scratch. As my DH did, and was a virgin until we married at 33. He is great and we have two kids.