What is your opinion on a guy who is a virgin in his 30's?

[Anonymous]

Very odd. You dated TWO MONTHS before kissing?

This guy has some issues. Maybe you can get past them, maybe you can't. I could not date a 35 year old virgin. I'd feel like... a pedophile? Idk. Just odd.

[Anonymous]

It would be a no from me. I just can't relate to someone who would hold off that long.

[Anonymous]

Would not bother me

[Anonymous]

He's waiting for a special lady!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's waiting for a special lady!

+1

[Anonymous]

Late bloomer? Didn't have any game with women due to shyness/awkwardness. Some people come in to their own a bit later. My DH didn't have a lot of experience when we met (he was 28 at the time).

[Anonymous]

If it's not about religion not asking you to wait for marriage then the reason he's a virgin is that he hasn't managed to have a relationship that got all of the way to sex before. In which case -- run. He's not as grown up as you are.

What are his friends like? What do they say about him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would assume he's Mormon or deeply religious. Or low testosterone or gay, otherwise. I would also assume that the sex would be bad.

Or that he's a pedophile. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

OP here:

Yes we did not actually kiss for two months. The first month was kind of a wash do to scheduling/timing issues, but even still most people our age kiss on the first date, some have sex. I guess I didn't really think of the timing, until I sat down because the dates have been sporadic. Which I thought was really odd.

Our first technical kiss, was more like him brushing up against me, and I think that happened because we were being stupid and I half teasingly mentioned the no kissing thing.
Even with the little peck, he didn't do anything.

Then with yesterday's kiss. It was a real kiss, and I could tell he was into it, but it was very amature , and he told me before that he only hat 1 serious girlfriend- from college

So I just asked him, and he admitted it- very embarrassed.

I'm now torn between feeling bad for the guy, and wanting to run.

His friends that I met are normal guys, all 3 are in relationships. 2 married, 1 engaged. He is definitely the quiet one of the bunch, and he's known these guys since childhood.

[Anonymous]

This was me. I was in two long term relationships back to back with girls who would stay virgins until marriage (for them it was religious). They were both whip smart and pursuing advanced degrees, and marriage wasn't on the table until after done with schooling. Thankfully I married #2, and a few kids later we have pretty normal sex life, couple times a week when kids and life allow. As for why I waited for years without sex, despite a healthy drive (without going explicit... There was a lot of... Maintenance), was that I was a bit of a romantic and thought love was about connection and tenderness, and that to love was to be patient.

But if I had broken up with DW before we married, I could very well be OP 30 year old virgin. I would talk about previous relationships, not just the sex thing.

[Anonymous]

So he hasn't really kissed anyone since college? Wow.
It is a bit odd, but perhaps he's just painfully shy. You can have a frank discussion with him that you are a sexual person and it's an important part of a relationship for you.
His passivity could just be embarrassment about his experience, and once he explores a bit with you he might open up sexually. Or he could have issues that would be a barrier to a relationship. Hard to know.

[Anonymous]

OP, if he already introduced you to his friends, that's a sign he is probably normal but shy or just bad luck with finding the right person. No man wants to embarrass himself in front of childhood friends. They know his story.

[Anonymous]

Or maybe whenever he says this to women, they run. Why not enjoy getting to know someone who isn't trying to get into your pants and let things happen organically? The best sex I have ever had is with my current SO, who was not a virgin (divorced with kids), but we waited a long time to kiss (longer than you) and an even longer time to do anything else and our sex life is amazeballs. He just thought I was special and wanted to take the time to get to know me before we got intimate and serious.

[Anonymous]

He's a closet gayboy.

[Anonymous]

what's with the virgin shaming? Grow up people.