Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just because a teenager chants a song at a Bball game doesn't mean he hates gays. Folks on this thread need to take a deep breath, relax, and go pursue a more important activity.
Yes, but please consider the effect of those words on others. This chant or song ("say he's just a friend" -- but we all know he isn't because you're gay!) is meant to put down, or insult, an opponent by insinuating that they are gay. It perpetuates and reinforces the idea that being gay is clearly a bad thing, a real defect or weakness in a person (otherwise why is it considered a put-down?). (Is it similarly an insult to insinuate that someone is "straight"? Perhaps it should be.)
In any case, it really does impact those young men in the audience who are gay, and who are perhaps struggling with that fact at a very vulnerable age, and in a society where many people clearly still view that as a defect. How do I know? Because I (a woman) volunteered for a youth organization, and one day found one of our male students clearly broken up and upset about something. He confided in me that he was gay, which I had not suspected, and that he was upset because several of his classmates/teammates/colleagues had been joking "you're a f@#", and no "i'm not a f@#" in their group that afternoon. He told me it really hurt, because even though he had come to accept the fact of his sexuality (as clearly he had, since he shared that fact with me), it nevertheless let him know that his friends (to whom he had not yet come out) essentially rejected, looked down on, and had a very negative view of his sexuality.
It was so painful for me to see that, and it really did change the way I thought about the casual use of derogatory words and insinuations. It's just hurtful, it really is, even if no real 'hate' is intended. Please remind your young men of that fact.