Kids that never throw tantrums?

[Anonymous]

I have three. Only one threw "real" tantrums. The nice thing about him though was that he very rarely whined and sulked, which was more something the middle one did. Our youngest was very sensitive and would get upset when I spoke to her in a stern voice when she was being naughty. Then I'd have to comfort her to calm her down, which was as annoying as a tantrum in a way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God really, how am I a troll? If this is a troll post, what does troll even mean?

Understand that any parent here who posts s/he has good kids who of course aren't perfect but well-behaved and respectful 99 percent of the time will be told 1) it has nothing to do with parenting 2) they're just lucky 3) they're clearly beating or otherwise scaring their kids into doing what they're told 3) they're a troll.

Given the low parenting standards of the day it's easy to understand why a lot of people think like this: it gets them off the hook. To maintain that belief system they have to pretend raising kids is a crap shoot. It's not. There are plenty of people who raise kids who don't throw tantrums, kick, hit, spit, or swear, throw food, scream, backtalk constantly or say "shut-up!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be worried if your kids are overly passive. That's just as weird as an occasional tantrum.

All 3 of my DCs had what I consider tantrums to be -- crying hysterically over something, sulking, etc. But none of them threw things, hit (past 18 months or so) or spit. I think there's a big difference between a tantrum and the crazy physical attacks some parents describe on here with biting and hitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God really, how am I a troll? If this is a troll post, what does troll even mean?

Understand that any parent here who posts s/he has good kids who of course aren't perfect but well-behaved and respectful 99 percent of the time will be told 1) it has nothing to do with parenting 2) they're just lucky 3) they're clearly beating or otherwise scaring their kids into doing what they're told 3) they're a troll.

Given the low parenting standards of the day it's easy to understand why a lot of people think like this: it gets them off the hook. To maintain that belief system they have to pretend raising kids is a crap shoot. It's not. There are plenty of people who raise kids who don't throw tantrums, kick, hit, spit, or swear, throw food, scream, backtalk constantly or say "shut-up!"

I totally agree with you. It's something I think about a lot but would never dare articulate here or in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God really, how am I a troll? If this is a troll post, what does troll even mean?

Understand that any parent here who posts s/he has good kids who of course aren't perfect but well-behaved and respectful 99 percent of the time will be told 1) it has nothing to do with parenting 2) they're just lucky 3) they're clearly beating or otherwise scaring their kids into doing what they're told 3) they're a troll.

Given the low parenting standards of the day it's easy to understand why a lot of people think like this: it gets them off the hook. To maintain that belief system they have to pretend raising kids is a crap shoot. It's not. There are plenty of people who raise kids who don't throw tantrums, kick, hit, spit, or swear, throw food, scream, backtalk constantly or say "shut-up!"

I totally agree with you. It's something I think about a lot but would never dare articulate here or in real life.

If that's what you truly think, how do you explain some of the PPs who have one child who threw tantrums and another who did not? Presumably both children received the same parenting.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend whose child has tantrums every time I see him. I do think it's because of her parenting, though.

My child has had a few meltdowns (crying until they can calm down and tell you what they want) but no tantrums (flailing, hitting, kicking) and I think I just got lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be worried if your kids are overly passive. That's just as weird as an occasional tantrum.

All 3 of my DCs had what I consider tantrums to be -- crying hysterically over something, sulking, etc. But none of them threw things, hit (past 18 months or so) or spit. I think there's a big difference between a tantrum and the crazy physical attacks some parents describe on here with biting and hitting.

Yes, well there you go. Your definitions include age limits. I think if your kid was hiting and throwing things even under the age of 18 months, you're still part of the club of "crazy physical attacks." IMO.

It all most definitely depends on definition. And that's ok. My son had what I consider tantrums from about 14 months through about 2.5. Now at age 3.5, he pitches a fit, freaks out, sometimes screams...but nothing like the old tantrums. And all of this is based on our own definitions.

[Anonymous]

I think it is all personality. I have four. Two have had epic meltdowns. The other two, none that I can remember.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is all personality. I have four. Two have had epic meltdowns. The other two, none that I can remember.

I think some of it is personality, for sure. Intense people are intense, passive people are passive, quiet, introverted people are....


AND I also think that parenting has much to do with helping children to learn how to move through a tantrum, or a parent can learn to head a tantrum off at the pass, which means that their child doesn't ever have the tantrum.

I've seen parents egging their children on, upsetting and frustrating them, and then act all upset themselves when their child just loses control and screams, cries, etc. And I so much want to walk over and say "well, what did you expect, you just teased, taunted, bait and switched for the last 10 minutes!"

But again, if you have a very intense child who FEELS everything SO MUCH, then you will get tantrums - because they SO CARE that they can't have grapes RIGHT NOW. Other kids don't care so much.

My sister's first child didn't tantrum. She was an incredibly easy going infant, toddler and preschooler. Amazing. However, she whined like nobody's business, and she was like water dripping on a rock when she wanted something. "I want to have a snack now. How come I can't have a snack now? But I know it's close to dinner time, but I just want a snack, a little itty bitty snack. What about if I had 10 grapes? What about if I had one bag of crackers? But I'm really hungry, I need food. How about this, if I have snack now....." freakin' on and on and on.

Or I want to use brother's marbles, not mine. But I want to, his are diffeerent than mine (no, there aren't). But I'd really like to, I'll just use them for a few minutes, just a little bit, he needs to learn to share (right, he's 2 YEARS younger than you...), how about if I use half of his and half of mine..... again, on and on and on.

And of course eventually she'd wear her parents down and she'd get what she wanted. But she never had a tantrum.

Personally, I'd rather have a child throw down, get it out of his system, then move forward (still without said snack or marbles, omigod) than wear me down like that. (although it never worked with me - because I wouldn't let her keep on and on but that's different parenting styles)

[Anonymous]

Both of mine have had tantrums (no crazy hitting etc, but certainly tantrums where I say no and they throw themselves on the floor and cry - in fact, my 2 yo hit this stage at disney world - awesome! refused to get in stroller, wanted to step off a ride she couldn't navigate HERSELF and I picked her up - she cried and cried). My kids are pretty passionate and strong willed - have big personalities, entertainers, and very sweet all together - when I look at their preschool classes,I can definitely see that there are some kids that have never tantrummed - they are much more even keeled, sedate, and reserved - I figure maybe their time will comein the teenage years!

[Anonymous]

I have a 10 year-old DS and 8 year-old DD and neither of them has ever thrown a tantrum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think special needs kids have more tantrums? My SN kid has never had one. Ever. Two normal kids -- lots of tantrums.

If I saw a child hitting, kicking and screaming at their parent I would assume it was special needs related.

That's the problems with making assumptions.

[Anonymous]

My 3 don't tantrum (never have) but they are far from Angels. They are messy/loud, have lousy table manners, are picky eaters, rough house way too much (all boys) and I need to repeat my directions several times before they follow them. So, the lack of tantruming isn't a humble brag on my part, just a fact and I'm really not sure why.