Do we all hate spending time with our in-laws?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in laws also want to spend every second with us. If you get up to use the bathroom they might comment that you just went two hours ago. MIL is a huge control freak. She tries to pick where everyone sits (and my seat in the living area doesn't face the tv so I can't even zone out on that unless I get up and argue that I'm going to sit on the floor). We aren't allowed to even grab a glass of water without asking permission, and she often says no. There's no guest bedroom (we sleep in the living room on a pull out couch) so thus no escape. When we tried to stay in a hotel she absolutely LOST it. Holidays are the worst. On the bright side, my kids don't seem to notice her quirks and absolutely love MIL.

Whaaat?? Who are these people that would deny you the ability to get a glass of water? I'd be bringing a 24-pack of Poland Springs with me

PP here -- I do, now! There's always a bottle of water in my purse for our visits. Sad, but true.

I have so many questions. What justification do they give? Or do they just say "no" when askrd for water? What would they do if you got up and got a glass yourself? What if you move your chair to see the TV?

Are they nice to you aside from this, or is their crazy control freakiness a symptom of hating you and wanting to make your life miserable?

Does DH recognize how odd it is? Does it bother him? Were they always like that?

They're very nice, actually, just strange. MIL has answered requests for water with "we're eating in an hour, you can get a drink then." As for getting up and getting it myself, she'd say she isn't comfortable with people in her kitchen (which is true). DH was never allowed to get himself a snack when growing up. He always had to ask and his mom would get it for him. Same today. DH knows it's odd but it doesn't really bother him. As for moving the chair, I wouldn't try because it's a heavy chair and wood floors. I've pointed out that I can't see the tv and they've shrugged. A lot of things go in one ear and out the other for them. Now that we have kids, we bring our own bag of snacks so that helps.

Um, I think I would be packing an entire cooler of my own food and just plunk it down right in the middle of the living room - making it rather obvious that this kitchen policy wasn't family friendly for us. I'd also lug around a giant jug of water.

A cooler and a jug of water?! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! This just cracked me the hell up! MIL sounds like she needs meds.

[Anonymous]

Seems most people here would rather be doormats who complain than set boundaries...

[Anonymous]

Can anyone top a MIL who withholds WATER? LOL. Like Sue Hawk's final speech in the first "Survivor': "if you were dying of thirst, I wouldn't give you a drink of water."

[Anonymous]

I don't care for spending time with my ILs because they are extremely racist and homophobic people. I'm not white and have had to call them out for making racist comments, including my own race. MIL is also like others on this thread who must know exactly where you're going and why if you get up and move out of their sight. Also, it is very clear she favors my son over my daughter. DD is adopted and I have a feeling that plays favoritism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care for spending time with my ILs because they are extremely racist and homophobic people. I'm not white and have had to call them out for making racist comments, including my own race. MIL is also like others on this thread who must know exactly where you're going and why if you get up and move out of their sight. Also, it is very clear she favors my son over my daughter. DD is adopted and I have a feeling that plays favoritism.

I'm sorry, PP. all of that is awful.

[Anonymous]

I love spending time with my ILs especially my SILs and BILs and nieces and nephews. I was just telling DH that I'm so excited to see everyone. I like spending time w my MIL, too. She can be overbearing at times but she is also a really nice, caring person. My FIL is another story but I only get him in small doses thankfully (they are divorced and he lives far away- we don't do holidays w him for many reasons). I miss my family when we spend the holidays at my ILs but it's definitely a bonus to my marriage w DH that I like my ILs so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my inlaws and I love spending time with them. I think it really is about attitude, believing they have the best intentions, letting go of little details and being glad that they are here for my husband and my kids (and me, too!) None of us are offended if someone excuses them self to take a nap or work on a project.

Well if none of my in-laws were offended if someone excuses themselves to take a nap or work on a project, I wouldn't mind spending time with them, either. But that's not the case. I swear to you, if someone leaves the room for more than 5 minutes, my MIL is chirping like a parrot..."Where's Steve? Where's Steve?"

He's taking a dump, OK? We had chili last night.

Maybe your MIL feels lonely in her day-to-day life and therefore likes everyone to be together on those occasions when she does see her family?

Then PPARADIS should install a double toilet in the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Nope! And they live with us. Will never understand why Americans are so cruel to their families. So sad.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Truly enjoy my MIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope! And they live with us. Will never understand why Americans are so cruel to their families. So sad.

Maybe you should live elsewhere, if we are so awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my inlaws and I love spending time with them. I think it really is about attitude, believing they have the best intentions, letting go of little details and being glad that they are here for my husband and my kids (and me, too!) None of us are offended if someone excuses them self to take a nap or work on a project.

Well if none of my in-laws were offended if someone excuses themselves to take a nap or work on a project, I wouldn't mind spending time with them, either. But that's not the case. I swear to you, if someone leaves the room for more than 5 minutes, my MIL is chirping like a parrot..."Where's Steve? Where's Steve?"

He's taking a dump, OK? We had chili last night.

Maybe your MIL feels lonely in her day-to-day life and therefore likes everyone to be together on those occasions when she does see her family?

Then PPARADIS should install a double toilet in the bathroom.

Lmfao!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FIL tells the life story of whoever he met that day in great detail. He wears a hat of DH's alma mater for the express purpose of striking up a conversation with random other alumni, so that he can eventually drop in that his son went there, and his father was v. important there and has buildings named after him (prestigious school). It seems like serendipity, but I have witnessed it so many times. I feel sorry for the hapless alumni, they are being ensnared and set up for the eventual denouement of being informed who FIL and family are and why they should care.

SO obnoxious!!!

Mine wore a Bernie Sanders pin to a wedding as a "conversation piece"...because God forbid you keep focus on the bride and groom.

[Anonymous]

My in-laws are no longer living and I miss them terribly. I LOVED visiting them. There wasn’t a ton to do where they lived, but it was great to get away and just spend time with them. When my kids were young, they also LOVED visiting. We told a lot of stories, played games, cooked together and just enjoyed the company of one another. They occasionally came to visit us, but we much more frequently visited them.
My kids have both learned that enjoying time with each others’ families is part of marriage. This is one thing that they keep in mind as they date - they want to find someone who they love and someone who has a family that values the same things as they do and that they like spending time with. It makes marriage so, so much easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws are no longer living and I miss them terribly. I LOVED visiting them. There wasn’t a ton to do where they lived, but it was great to get away and just spend time with them. When my kids were young, they also LOVED visiting. We told a lot of stories, played games, cooked together and just enjoyed the company of one another. They occasionally came to visit us, but we much more frequently visited them.
My kids have both learned that enjoying time with each others’ families is part of marriage. This is one thing that they keep in mind as they date - they want to find someone who they love and someone who has a family that values the same things as they do and that they like spending time with. It makes marriage so, so much easier.

Thanks, "my sainted ILs are gone, so you should not have any problems with yours" poster! We were waiting for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws are no longer living and I miss them terribly. I LOVED visiting them. There wasn’t a ton to do where they lived, but it was great to get away and just spend time with them. When my kids were young, they also LOVED visiting. We told a lot of stories, played games, cooked together and just enjoyed the company of one another. They occasionally came to visit us, but we much more frequently visited them.
My kids have both learned that enjoying time with each others’ families is part of marriage. This is one thing that they keep in mind as they date - they want to find someone who they love and someone who has a family that values the same things as they do and that they like spending time with. It makes marriage so, so much easier.

Thanks, "my sainted ILs are gone, so you should not have any problems with yours" poster! We were waiting for you.

Nope. I realize I am lucky. I married someone I love and whose family I also love. I also want others to know that not every married person hates their ILs.