To marry or not in the Catholic church?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP.

Forgive the ignorance PP, but what do you mean by cradle-catholic?

23:47, Thank you! Posting on this forum and reading the feedback helped me realize that if we opted not to go through the Catholic church knowing we want to raise Catholic fundamental children would be a severe detriment.

Has anyone been able to marry in the Catholic church in under 6 months?

Yes, I know several couples who were married in the church in under 6 months - myself included (DH and I were married 4 months to the day after we got engaged). You might have to be willing to make sacrifices regarding the day, the priest, the time, etc. You need to present yourself as being willing to accommodate THEIR schedule, as opposed to making demands -- in which case they will say, well, if you just wait longer you can get your "saturday at 4pm" time slot (or whatever it is you are envisioning). Tell them you will work around any available slot, that you will do your marriage weekend prep ASAP and be very quick to satisfy any other requirements.

Also, and this is important but may be a difficult topic to broach....most (as in 99%) couples are living together or otherwise sexually involved. Priests love it when couple is actually dedicated to waiting for marriage, and might be more willing to work with you for a sooner date. Though I don't know, maybe this is not a huge issue for you....and the priest might not like you putting pressure on him in this regard.

Lastly, it can be difficult to put together a wedding in a short amount of time, especially in the DC area. You should keep a VERY open mind and be as creative as possible, and recognize that you just want to be married, and the other things are truly insignificant.....like making sure you have the "perfect" venue, dress, cake, photographer, etc. etc. My DH and I decided to use a lesser-known church, bring in an outside priest who knew us and was willing to say the wedding, and we used the church hall (my mom did the decorations) for a small informal reception. Flowers were from the grocery store (my mom and sister arranged them into bouquets), the caterer was just the one who was available as opposed to our first choice, bridesmaids dresses were off the rack at Ann Taylor, my gown was also just one off the rack, we bought boxed wine and beer and a friend took pictures. We didn't make programs and didn't hire outside musicians. It was all very low key and low drama - which suited me perfectly - but it wouldn't have worked if I had a dreamy-princess-vision of what my wedding should have been like.

Yes, you can probably have anyone you want participate in the Mass in whatever way you'd like. Talk to the parish wedding coordinator.

ps - "cradle" Catholic means someone who was born into a Catholic family and has been Catholic their whole life. As opposed to a convert or a re-vert.

Your wedding and reception is similar to what we want. I have never been into big fancy weddings, and I think that in this case that sounds like it will help a lot.

Not sure if I had mentioned this previously, but we are not in a sexually active relationship. He had 1 previous partner, I've had none. It has been my wish to wait until marriage (yes, I realize how rare that is for this day and age esp because I'm 32! --- before I met him I was destined to be a cat lady, but turns out I have a cat hair allergy and God had other intentions ) and he has been 100% respectful of that. I wasn't planning to disclose that to a priest, but if its going to help us get in a sooner wedding date then I will keep that in mind.

Do you mind if I ask you how much was your total wedding costs between everything with the reception and the church since you DIY for much of it, and that is more or less our intention too?

Yes, you are rare! Perhaps a gentle way to say to the priest is to be clear that you are not living together (and let that stand alone), and that the most important thing for you is the sacrament of marriage. You are eager to be married, not to have a "fancy wedding day". All of those things blend together to paint a picture that helps the priest understand and perhaps help you secure an earlier date.

I honestly can't remember how much my wedding cost, but it was fairly inexpensive. Maybe $5,000 total? That included a caterer, which was the biggest splurge for us. A friend of mine got married last month, and his sister cooked all the food for the reception. It was simple but delicious and of course extremely frugal.

Congrats on finding the right man. Best of luck to you.