How long married? Not how long you have been together. They are different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A study came out that people who date 4+ years before marriage are more likely to get divorced.

I believe this.

Eh. I took a stupid family studies class in college, and according to the research discussed in that class my DH and I are doomed.

1. Different religions
2. Cohabitation before marriage
3. More than a 4 year age difference (it's 4.5)

And now the fact that we waited 5 years to marry! Oh no!!!

In our favor (according to studies):

1. Our parents are happily married (never divorced)
2. Came from upper middle class families (same socioeconomic background)
3. Similar childhoods (stable, suburban, good education)
4. No addiction or mental health issues
5. Similar beliefs regarding marriage, religion, family and sex
6. We fight fair
7. Lots of sex

But since we waited more than four years to marry (ya know, so I could graduate from college and get midway through grad school), I guess our 20+ year marriage is doomed!!! If only I'd gotten pregnant in college--then we could have had a shotgun wedding and our marriage might have a chance.

This thread is awesome.

[Anonymous]

The whole scorekeeping thing is ridiculous when someone can meet a random in Vegas a be married the same night. But I'm sure OP doesn't count "those" kinds of marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you may be thinking of me? In the Angie and Brad thread?

I answer that DH and I have been together 11 years though married six because that's very different than someone who's been married six years but met their spouse three months prior. There's a different base there.

I tend to lose respect quickly for people who date so long. They have completely different priorities and morals than I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you may be thinking of me? In the Angie and Brad thread?

I answer that DH and I have been together 11 years though married six because that's very different than someone who's been married six years but met their spouse three months prior. There's a different base there.

I tend to lose respect quickly for people who date so long. They have completely different priorities and morals than I do.

You annoy me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you may be thinking of me? In the Angie and Brad thread?

I answer that DH and I have been together 11 years though married six because that's very different than someone who's been married six years but met their spouse three months prior. There's a different base there.

I tend to lose respect quickly for people who date so long. They have completely different priorities and morals than I do.

Agree, if he really loves you..... He will marry you asap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It makes me wonder why te people couldn't get their acts together to marry sooner. Obviously they had problems.

I waited three years before agreeing to marry my husband because I was battling cancer and didn't want to burden him. So yeah, we had problems. I just didn't have my act together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I roll my eyes at people who count how long they've been together in response to this question. Unless you've been gay and couldn't marry, it's really immature sounding.

I think people who react as you do are those who did not have a choice in their partner and basically settled for someone. They ended up marrying whoever they could land because either their biological clock was ticking, or they were previously in another relationship that did not work out, or they were unable to form romantic relationships for some reason.

I have known people who dated for a long time and then married, and people who dated for a few months and got married - neither group of people had a problem with anyone telling them how long they have been together. I suspect it is because they married people that they wanted to be married to.

[Anonymous]

Meh, it's only on DCUM that I indicate how long we've been together because, inevitably, someone will ask 'why didn't you know this before you got married?'. Because it wasn't apparent! We lived together for 3 years before we got married and have been married for 17 years = we've been together 20 years. I don't care if it annoys you, leads you to believe I'm immature, that I'm insecure or whatever else you think my statement says about me. You don't matter to me.

[Anonymous]

59 DH....married 35 years...can't wait to spend all day with her tomorrow as we drive thru the mountains

[Anonymous]

I've heard people say this. I've never even given it a second thought. Can't believe people are annoyed and judgmental about something so benign. Who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you may be thinking of me? In the Angie and Brad thread?

I answer that DH and I have been together 11 years though married six because that's very different than someone who's been married six years but met their spouse three months prior. There's a different base there.

I tend to lose respect quickly for people who date so long. They have completely different priorities and morals than I do.

Agree, if he really loves you..... He will marry you asap.

Hmm... What if you refuse to marry him because you want to finish grad school and don't want to be a 22 year old bride? So you date more than 4 years and go on to have a 15 year marriage (so far). I guess he eventually grew to love me. Or perhaps I am just doomed for divorce. Certainly when we bicker over laundry it feels like it ?

[Anonymous]

If you have time to fret about this, you're probably a loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have time to fret about this, you're probably a loser.

Without a doubt. OP, you're really going out of your way to be bothered here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have time to fret about this, you're probably a loser.

It means I live a life of luxury and get to be a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you may be thinking of me? In the Angie and Brad thread?

I answer that DH and I have been together 11 years though married six because that's very different than someone who's been married six years but met their spouse three months prior. There's a different base there.

I tend to lose respect quickly for people who date so long. They have completely different priorities and morals than I do.

Agree, if he really loves you..... He will marry you asap.

Hmm... What if you refuse to marry him because you want to finish grad school and don't want to be a 22 year old bride? So you date more than 4 years and go on to have a 15 year marriage (so far). I guess he eventually grew to love me. Or perhaps I am just doomed for divorce. Certainly when we bicker over laundry it feels like it ?

That is your choice. But you can't take credit for the unmarried years.