Is this really happening?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I understand. My DH lies about the dumbest things, and I just can't figure out what the hell he's thinking. It's over stuff I would never in a million years pick a fight over, but now, as they all add up, it makes me wonder why he feels the need to lie and they are taking on a life of their own. Big example that's happening now: I am a vegetarian. I couldn't care less if he eats meat or not, never pressured him, he just said years ago that he wanted to stop eating it because he didn't feel good. Last weekend, we're out of town at a hotel that included breakfast, and I literally watched as he hid a sausage patty under his eggs. And last night, he brought sandwiches home and told me it was tuna when it was turkey, plain as day and on the receipt. So why in the world does he think I give a crap?? I was taken off guard a few times where he's clearly hiding it, and now I'm prepared to ask him why he feels the need to lie about what he's eating. It's beyond strange to me. But also hurtful - he's choosing to lie to me over something so dumb, but at the end of the day it doesn't matter if it's over something dumb or not - he's choosing to lie to me.

You obviously care about it because you've even checked the receipts. He is hiding it from you because he doesn't want to deal with the judgmental bull crap he will get from you. Wives always say "I don't nag" and "it doesn't bother me" when the truth is you are obsessing over every bit of it.

Maybe I am not used to this game. Thank goodness I don't have a DH who checks up on what I eat. I love to snack and enjoy dessert. I don't tell DH that I eat potato chips or a chocolate bar. God forbid, DH would check up on whether I ate this bag of potato chips and then accuse me of lying. That would drive me nuts.

I used to have a $15 Starbucks habit. There was one in my building and I would often get breakfast and coffee in the morning and then get a sweet treat in the afternoon. After we were married, we joined our finances and he started noticing my expensive Starbucks habit. I actually yelled at him for micromanaging my spending.

Maybe he feels the need to lie so that you don't get mad at him. My situation is different but I love to travel. DH not so much. He often agrees and says he wants to go somewhere when he doesn't. When the time comes to go, he doesn't seem enthusiastic and I get upset. I feel like he lied to me about wanting to go somewhere when he clearly does not want to go. Just a different perspective. Your stories don't sound like that big of a deal to me.

How the hell many times do I have to say that I don't give a flying fuck what he eats? It's the fact that he's lying to me about it that's concerning. It's a dumb lie that has no significance in our lives, and yet he chooses to continue to lie about it. Do you lie to your husband about what you eat? Didn't think so. Then you have nothing to say about this.

Don't worry, some of us hear you and understanding exactly what you are saying. Others are too willing to put up with anything.

I don't know if it's because it is late or if you have a typo or two that are throwing it off but I can't understand what you are saying. Are you saying that others would not put up with anything and therefore cannot understand what OP is saying?

You are right I do have typos in there! I'm saying that the posters who are trying to make the PP feel wrong or crazy for being upset about her husband's lies are incorrect. The people who are diminishing it or acting as if she is causing his behavior are willing to put up with too much and claim it's normal but it's really not.

LOL OK, I understand what you are saying now.

I was trying to relate but my husband doesn't really lie to me. I do think he gets confused because he is very busy and makes mistakes. Like when he thinks he booked a car for our upcoming florida trip but didn't. He thinks he did but he is remembering our last trip. Don't think he is deliberately trying to lie to me in any sort of way. still very annoying.

Right, which is why other PPs were telling you not to speak on what you don't know. Seriously, it takes a hell of a lot of chutzpah to so condescendingly lecture people when you haven't been through anything like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I understand. My DH lies about the dumbest things, and I just can't figure out what the hell he's thinking. It's over stuff I would never in a million years pick a fight over, but now, as they all add up, it makes me wonder why he feels the need to lie and they are taking on a life of their own. Big example that's happening now: I am a vegetarian. I couldn't care less if he eats meat or not, never pressured him, he just said years ago that he wanted to stop eating it because he didn't feel good. Last weekend, we're out of town at a hotel that included breakfast, and I literally watched as he hid a sausage patty under his eggs. And last night, he brought sandwiches home and told me it was tuna when it was turkey, plain as day and on the receipt. So why in the world does he think I give a crap?? I was taken off guard a few times where he's clearly hiding it, and now I'm prepared to ask him why he feels the need to lie about what he's eating. It's beyond strange to me. But also hurtful - he's choosing to lie to me over something so dumb, but at the end of the day it doesn't matter if it's over something dumb or not - he's choosing to lie to me.

You obviously care about it because you've even checked the receipts. He is hiding it from you because he doesn't want to deal with the judgmental bull crap he will get from you. Wives always say "I don't nag" and "it doesn't bother me" when the truth is you are obsessing over every bit of it.

Maybe I am not used to this game. Thank goodness I don't have a DH who checks up on what I eat. I love to snack and enjoy dessert. I don't tell DH that I eat potato chips or a chocolate bar. God forbid, DH would check up on whether I ate this bag of potato chips and then accuse me of lying. That would drive me nuts.

I used to have a $15 Starbucks habit. There was one in my building and I would often get breakfast and coffee in the morning and then get a sweet treat in the afternoon. After we were married, we joined our finances and he started noticing my expensive Starbucks habit. I actually yelled at him for micromanaging my spending.

Maybe he feels the need to lie so that you don't get mad at him. My situation is different but I love to travel. DH not so much. He often agrees and says he wants to go somewhere when he doesn't. When the time comes to go, he doesn't seem enthusiastic and I get upset. I feel like he lied to me about wanting to go somewhere when he clearly does not want to go. Just a different perspective. Your stories don't sound like that big of a deal to me.

How the hell many times do I have to say that I don't give a flying fuck what he eats? It's the fact that he's lying to me about it that's concerning. It's a dumb lie that has no significance in our lives, and yet he chooses to continue to lie about it. Do you lie to your husband about what you eat? Didn't think so. Then you have nothing to say about this.

Don't worry, some of us hear you and understanding exactly what you are saying. Others are too willing to put up with anything.

I don't know if it's because it is late or if you have a typo or two that are throwing it off but I can't understand what you are saying. Are you saying that others would not put up with anything and therefore cannot understand what OP is saying?

You are right I do have typos in there! I'm saying that the posters who are trying to make the PP feel wrong or crazy for being upset about her husband's lies are incorrect. The people who are diminishing it or acting as if she is causing his behavior are willing to put up with too much and claim it's normal but it's really not.

LOL OK, I understand what you are saying now.

I was trying to relate but my husband doesn't really lie to me. I do think he gets confused because he is very busy and makes mistakes. Like when he thinks he booked a car for our upcoming florida trip but didn't. He thinks he did but he is remembering our last trip. Don't think he is deliberately trying to lie to me in any sort of way. still very annoying.

Right, which is why other PPs were telling you not to speak on what you don't know. Seriously, it takes a hell of a lot of chutzpah to so condescendingly lecture people when you haven't been through anything like it.

Yes, I would not have married one. This is something I am glad I cannot relate to. Good night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I understand. My DH lies about the dumbest things, and I just can't figure out what the hell he's thinking. It's over stuff I would never in a million years pick a fight over, but now, as they all add up, it makes me wonder why he feels the need to lie and they are taking on a life of their own. Big example that's happening now: I am a vegetarian. I couldn't care less if he eats meat or not, never pressured him, he just said years ago that he wanted to stop eating it because he didn't feel good. Last weekend, we're out of town at a hotel that included breakfast, and I literally watched as he hid a sausage patty under his eggs. And last night, he brought sandwiches home and told me it was tuna when it was turkey, plain as day and on the receipt. So why in the world does he think I give a crap?? I was taken off guard a few times where he's clearly hiding it, and now I'm prepared to ask him why he feels the need to lie about what he's eating. It's beyond strange to me. But also hurtful - he's choosing to lie to me over something so dumb, but at the end of the day it doesn't matter if it's over something dumb or not - he's choosing to lie to me.

You obviously care about it because you've even checked the receipts. He is hiding it from you because he doesn't want to deal with the judgmental bull crap he will get from you. Wives always say "I don't nag" and "it doesn't bother me" when the truth is you are obsessing over every bit of it.

Maybe I am not used to this game. Thank goodness I don't have a DH who checks up on what I eat. I love to snack and enjoy dessert. I don't tell DH that I eat potato chips or a chocolate bar. God forbid, DH would check up on whether I ate this bag of potato chips and then accuse me of lying. That would drive me nuts.

I used to have a $15 Starbucks habit. There was one in my building and I would often get breakfast and coffee in the morning and then get a sweet treat in the afternoon. After we were married, we joined our finances and he started noticing my expensive Starbucks habit. I actually yelled at him for micromanaging my spending.

Maybe he feels the need to lie so that you don't get mad at him. My situation is different but I love to travel. DH not so much. He often agrees and says he wants to go somewhere when he doesn't. When the time comes to go, he doesn't seem enthusiastic and I get upset. I feel like he lied to me about wanting to go somewhere when he clearly does not want to go. Just a different perspective. Your stories don't sound like that big of a deal to me.

How the hell many times do I have to say that I don't give a flying fuck what he eats? It's the fact that he's lying to me about it that's concerning. It's a dumb lie that has no significance in our lives, and yet he chooses to continue to lie about it. Do you lie to your husband about what you eat? Didn't think so. Then you have nothing to say about this.

Don't worry, some of us hear you and understanding exactly what you are saying. Others are too willing to put up with anything.

I don't know if it's because it is late or if you have a typo or two that are throwing it off but I can't understand what you are saying. Are you saying that others would not put up with anything and therefore cannot understand what OP is saying?

You are right I do have typos in there! I'm saying that the posters who are trying to make the PP feel wrong or crazy for being upset about her husband's lies are incorrect. The people who are diminishing it or acting as if she is causing his behavior are willing to put up with too much and claim it's normal but it's really not.

LOL OK, I understand what you are saying now.

I was trying to relate but my husband doesn't really lie to me. I do think he gets confused because he is very busy and makes mistakes. Like when he thinks he booked a car for our upcoming florida trip but didn't. He thinks he did but he is remembering our last trip. Don't think he is deliberately trying to lie to me in any sort of way. still very annoying.

Right, which is why other PPs were telling you not to speak on what you don't know. Seriously, it takes a hell of a lot of chutzpah to so condescendingly lecture people when you haven't been through anything like it.

Not every one who is replying married one. But what a compassionate, lovely person you are. Definitely have some great karma headed your way

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I understand. My DH lies about the dumbest things, and I just can't figure out what the hell he's thinking. It's over stuff I would never in a million years pick a fight over, but now, as they all add up, it makes me wonder why he feels the need to lie and they are taking on a life of their own. Big example that's happening now: I am a vegetarian. I couldn't care less if he eats meat or not, never pressured him, he just said years ago that he wanted to stop eating it because he didn't feel good. Last weekend, we're out of town at a hotel that included breakfast, and I literally watched as he hid a sausage patty under his eggs. And last night, he brought sandwiches home and told me it was tuna when it was turkey, plain as day and on the receipt. So why in the world does he think I give a crap?? I was taken off guard a few times where he's clearly hiding it, and now I'm prepared to ask him why he feels the need to lie about what he's eating. It's beyond strange to me. But also hurtful - he's choosing to lie to me over something so dumb, but at the end of the day it doesn't matter if it's over something dumb or not - he's choosing to lie to me.

You obviously care about it because you've even checked the receipts. He is hiding it from you because he doesn't want to deal with the judgmental bull crap he will get from you. Wives always say "I don't nag" and "it doesn't bother me" when the truth is you are obsessing over every bit of it.

Maybe I am not used to this game. Thank goodness I don't have a DH who checks up on what I eat. I love to snack and enjoy dessert. I don't tell DH that I eat potato chips or a chocolate bar. God forbid, DH would check up on whether I ate this bag of potato chips and then accuse me of lying. That would drive me nuts.

I used to have a $15 Starbucks habit. There was one in my building and I would often get breakfast and coffee in the morning and then get a sweet treat in the afternoon. After we were married, we joined our finances and he started noticing my expensive Starbucks habit. I actually yelled at him for micromanaging my spending.

Maybe he feels the need to lie so that you don't get mad at him. My situation is different but I love to travel. DH not so much. He often agrees and says he wants to go somewhere when he doesn't. When the time comes to go, he doesn't seem enthusiastic and I get upset. I feel like he lied to me about wanting to go somewhere when he clearly does not want to go. Just a different perspective. Your stories don't sound like that big of a deal to me.

How the hell many times do I have to say that I don't give a flying fuck what he eats? It's the fact that he's lying to me about it that's concerning. It's a dumb lie that has no significance in our lives, and yet he chooses to continue to lie about it. Do you lie to your husband about what you eat? Didn't think so. Then you have nothing to say about this.

Don't worry, some of us hear you and understanding exactly what you are saying. Others are too willing to put up with anything.

I don't know if it's because it is late or if you have a typo or two that are throwing it off but I can't understand what you are saying. Are you saying that others would not put up with anything and therefore cannot understand what OP is saying?

You are right I do have typos in there! I'm saying that the posters who are trying to make the PP feel wrong or crazy for being upset about her husband's lies are incorrect. The people who are diminishing it or acting as if she is causing his behavior are willing to put up with too much and claim it's normal but it's really not.

LOL OK, I understand what you are saying now.

I was trying to relate but my husband doesn't really lie to me. I do think he gets confused because he is very busy and makes mistakes. Like when he thinks he booked a car for our upcoming florida trip but didn't. He thinks he did but he is remembering our last trip. Don't think he is deliberately trying to lie to me in any sort of way. still very annoying.

Right, which is why other PPs were telling you not to speak on what you don't know. Seriously, it takes a hell of a lot of chutzpah to so condescendingly lecture people when you haven't been through anything like it.

Are you the OP? Whether you are or not, if this post is indicative of how you are in real life, I can see why your spouse would lie to you. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I understand. My DH lies about the dumbest things, and I just can't figure out what the hell he's thinking. It's over stuff I would never in a million years pick a fight over, but now, as they all add up, it makes me wonder why he feels the need to lie and they are taking on a life of their own. Big example that's happening now: I am a vegetarian. I couldn't care less if he eats meat or not, never pressured him, he just said years ago that he wanted to stop eating it because he didn't feel good. Last weekend, we're out of town at a hotel that included breakfast, and I literally watched as he hid a sausage patty under his eggs. And last night, he brought sandwiches home and told me it was tuna when it was turkey, plain as day and on the receipt. So why in the world does he think I give a crap?? I was taken off guard a few times where he's clearly hiding it, and now I'm prepared to ask him why he feels the need to lie about what he's eating. It's beyond strange to me. But also hurtful - he's choosing to lie to me over something so dumb, but at the end of the day it doesn't matter if it's over something dumb or not - he's choosing to lie to me.

You obviously care about it because you've even checked the receipts. He is hiding it from you because he doesn't want to deal with the judgmental bull crap he will get from you. Wives always say "I don't nag" and "it doesn't bother me" when the truth is you are obsessing over every bit of it.

Maybe I am not used to this game. Thank goodness I don't have a DH who checks up on what I eat. I love to snack and enjoy dessert. I don't tell DH that I eat potato chips or a chocolate bar. God forbid, DH would check up on whether I ate this bag of potato chips and then accuse me of lying. That would drive me nuts.

I used to have a $15 Starbucks habit. There was one in my building and I would often get breakfast and coffee in the morning and then get a sweet treat in the afternoon. After we were married, we joined our finances and he started noticing my expensive Starbucks habit. I actually yelled at him for micromanaging my spending.

Maybe he feels the need to lie so that you don't get mad at him. My situation is different but I love to travel. DH not so much. He often agrees and says he wants to go somewhere when he doesn't. When the time comes to go, he doesn't seem enthusiastic and I get upset. I feel like he lied to me about wanting to go somewhere when he clearly does not want to go. Just a different perspective. Your stories don't sound like that big of a deal to me.

How the hell many times do I have to say that I don't give a flying fuck what he eats? It's the fact that he's lying to me about it that's concerning. It's a dumb lie that has no significance in our lives, and yet he chooses to continue to lie about it. Do you lie to your husband about what you eat? Didn't think so. Then you have nothing to say about this.

Don't worry, some of us hear you and understanding exactly what you are saying. Others are too willing to put up with anything.

I don't know if it's because it is late or if you have a typo or two that are throwing it off but I can't understand what you are saying. Are you saying that others would not put up with anything and therefore cannot understand what OP is saying?

You are right I do have typos in there! I'm saying that the posters who are trying to make the PP feel wrong or crazy for being upset about her husband's lies are incorrect. The people who are diminishing it or acting as if she is causing his behavior are willing to put up with too much and claim it's normal but it's really not.

LOL OK, I understand what you are saying now.

I was trying to relate but my husband doesn't really lie to me. I do think he gets confused because he is very busy and makes mistakes. Like when he thinks he booked a car for our upcoming florida trip but didn't. He thinks he did but he is remembering our last trip. Don't think he is deliberately trying to lie to me in any sort of way. still very annoying.

Right, which is why other PPs were telling you not to speak on what you don't know. Seriously, it takes a hell of a lot of chutzpah to so condescendingly lecture people when you haven't been through anything like it.

Are you the OP? Whether you are or not, if this post is indicative of how you are in real life, I can see why your spouse would lie to you. Sheesh.

Guess again....

[Anonymous]

OP here.
I understand that some people either can not relate or would never accept this behavior.
I CAN tell you with COMPLETE confidence that I do not in any way interrogate my husband. His lies come out really only when discovered. Like when we needed the car and it wasn't at the train station. Don't you think its strange that DH only admitted he wasn't taking the train when he was "caught?" When I say that I really don't care whether he drives in or not. But the fact that he leaves at the exact same time and arrives home at the exact same time as if he took the train? The only reason that came out was I asked why he was coming home at the exact same times. He looked at me like he swallowed his tongue. Now that's odd, do't you think? And then he says it's none of my business? He does it all the time?
That's some questionable behavior.

[Anonymous]

I honestly think you just bug him. And yes it's nagging to ask why a grown man drove his own car to work and how in the heck he came to have a coffee is none of your business. Seriously relax. I am a woman and I think you're overbearing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think you just bug him. And yes it's nagging to ask why a grown man drove his own car to work and how in the heck he came to have a coffee is none of your business. Seriously relax. I am a woman and I think you're overbearing.

Um, they're married. If he is genuinely set off by such a little thing, then he has some serious issues that he needs to work on in order to be in a relationship. yet another reason to dump him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
I understand that some people either can not relate or would never accept this behavior.
I CAN tell you with COMPLETE confidence that I do not in any way interrogate my husband. His lies come out really only when discovered. Like when we needed the car and it wasn't at the train station. Don't you think its strange that DH only admitted he wasn't taking the train when he was "caught?" When I say that I really don't care whether he drives in or not. But the fact that he leaves at the exact same time and arrives home at the exact same time as if he took the train? The only reason that came out was I asked why he was coming home at the exact same times. He looked at me like he swallowed his tongue. Now that's odd, do't you think? And then he says it's none of my business? He does it all the time?
That's some questionable behavior.

You really need to give some other better examples than just those 2. The supposed lying about coffee really isn't telling.

Maybe it is because I drive everyday but we really don't discuss the logistics of our commutes unless there is traffic or we will be late. Are you saying it is suspicious that he gets home at the same time as if he rode the Metro?

My mind just goes to a different place. Is it possible he lost his job and is afraid to tell you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think you just bug him. And yes it's nagging to ask why a grown man drove his own car to work and how in the heck he came to have a coffee is none of your business. Seriously relax. I am a woman and I think you're overbearing.

Um, they're married. If he is genuinely set off by such a little thing, then he has some serious issues that he needs to work on in order to be in a relationship. yet another reason to dump him.

I'm married too and she sounds like a pain in the ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think you just bug him. And yes it's nagging to ask why a grown man drove his own car to work and how in the heck he came to have a coffee is none of your business. Seriously relax. I am a woman and I think you're overbearing.

Um, they're married. If he is genuinely set off by such a little thing, then he has some serious issues that he needs to work on in order to be in a relationship. yet another reason to dump him.

I'm married too and she sounds like a pain in the ass.

Not to me. YOU sound like a pain in the ass to me...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think you just bug him. And yes it's nagging to ask why a grown man drove his own car to work and how in the heck he came to have a coffee is none of your business. Seriously relax. I am a woman and I think you're overbearing.

Um, they're married. If he is genuinely set off by such a little thing, then he has some serious issues that he needs to work on in order to be in a relationship. yet another reason to dump him.

I'm married too and she sounds like a pain in the ass.

Not to me. YOU sound like a pain in the ass to me...

POT MEET KETTLE

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think you just bug him. And yes it's nagging to ask why a grown man drove his own car to work and how in the heck he came to have a coffee is none of your business. Seriously relax. I am a woman and I think you're overbearing.

Um, they're married. If he is genuinely set off by such a little thing, then he has some serious issues that he needs to work on in order to be in a relationship. yet another reason to dump him.

I'm married too and she sounds like a pain in the ass.

Not to me. YOU sound like a pain in the ass to me...

You got that right. Go you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think you just bug him. And yes it's nagging to ask why a grown man drove his own car to work and how in the heck he came to have a coffee is none of your business. Seriously relax. I am a woman and I think you're overbearing.

Um, they're married. If he is genuinely set off by such a little thing, then he has some serious issues that he needs to work on in order to be in a relationship. yet another reason to dump him.

I'm married too and she sounds like a pain in the ass.

Not to me. YOU sound like a pain in the ass to me...

You got that right. Go you!

Awww thanks! It wasn't hard to guess though... you just give off that vibe!

[Anonymous]

Do you know for certain that he drives to work now vs the one day you "caught" him driving to work?

Maybe he missed the metro once or couldn't find parking or wanted to run an errand on the way to work. Then he was put off by your tone when you "caught" him driving to work.