It just sucks - not even offered internship - (sigh)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but I don't feel bad. This is a conscious choice you made, to give up your career and be supported by your husband, and you are now perceived as always putting career on the back burner. PTSA and HOA simply don't translate to the real world.

^^ burned by the ex-wife for alimony, are ya?

Uh, hardly. I'm a (female, with young kids) hiring manager who would never pass up a motivated young recent grad for someone who quit voluntarily and is now out of the game. Harsh but true. Based on OP's post I'm not alone.

+1

Sorry. I want the young and hungry kid who is going to bust their ass to get ahead, not someone who thinks that being a room mom makes up for a 13 year absence from the workforce. I'm a working mom.

+10000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but I don't feel bad. This is a conscious choice you made, to give up your career and be supported by your husband, and you are now perceived as always putting career on the back burner. PTSA and HOA simply don't translate to the real world.

^^ burned by the ex-wife for alimony, are ya?

Uh, hardly. I'm a (female, with young kids) hiring manager who would never pass up a motivated young recent grad for someone who quit voluntarily and is now out of the game. Harsh but true. Based on OP's post I'm not alone.

+1

Sorry. I want the young and hungry kid who is going to bust their ass to get ahead, not someone who thinks that being a room mom makes up for a 13 year absence from the workforce. I'm a working mom.

+10000

So pathetically sad that many (women) assume and generalize that young people = go-getter and former SAHM = unmotivated worker.

I really hope that those (working moms) posting that they would go with a young worker over a former SAHM really reflects on the often incorrect assumptions they are making. I hope if their daughter choose to stay home for a while to raise children, that they won't ever come upon a hiring manager with values and pre-conceived notions of their own mothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but I don't feel bad. This is a conscious choice you made, to give up your career and be supported by your husband, and you are now perceived as always putting career on the back burner. PTSA and HOA simply don't translate to the real world.

^^ burned by the ex-wife for alimony, are ya?

Uh, hardly. I'm a (female, with young kids) hiring manager who would never pass up a motivated young recent grad for someone who quit voluntarily and is now out of the game. Harsh but true. Based on OP's post I'm not alone.

+1

Sorry. I want the young and hungry kid who is going to bust their ass to get ahead, not someone who thinks that being a room mom makes up for a 13 year absence from the workforce. I'm a working mom.

+10000[/uote]

So pathetically sad that many (women) assume and generalize that young people = go-getter and former SAHM = unmotivated worker.

I really hope that those (working moms) posting that they would go with a young worker over a former SAHM really reflects on the often incorrect assumptions they are making. I hope if their daughter choose to stay home for a while to raise children, that they won't ever come upon a hiring manager with values and pre-conceived notions of their own mothers.

Agreed. I'm a helluva lot more motivated now that I have private school tuition to pay & college to save for than I was in my 20s!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but I don't feel bad. This is a conscious choice you made, to give up your career and be supported by your husband, and you are now perceived as always putting career on the back burner. PTSA and HOA simply don't translate to the real world.

Is this advice you would say to your daughter?

[Anonymous]

These "working moms" that would talk badly about SAHM's that are trying to enter the workforce are very much like the generation of men that said women don't have a place in the workplace.

They are blocking their re-entry and using lame excuses such as " you chose to raise your family for a few years" so now you are OUT. You don't belong here. There is no place for women who take a few years off in the workplace.

So now the new spin on this is- Women, if you have babies do not intend to take more than your maternity leave off, if you do- you're out. Women- you MUST continue to work right after maternity leave or your place is ONLY in the home. Your 'choice'.

Nice feministic view huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These "working moms" that would talk badly about SAHM's that are trying to enter the workforce are very much like the generation of men that said women don't have a place in the workplace.

They are blocking their re-entry and using lame excuses such as " you chose to raise your family for a few years" so now you are OUT. You don't belong here. There is no place for women who take a few years off in the workplace.

So now the new spin on this is- Women, if you have babies do not intend to take more than your maternity leave off, if you do- you're out. Women- you MUST continue to work right after maternity leave or your place is ONLY in the home. Your 'choice'.

Nice feministic view huh?

They are doing that because they can't get the taste of bittercakes out of their mouth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These "working moms" that would talk badly about SAHM's that are trying to enter the workforce are very much like the generation of men that said women don't have a place in the workplace.

They are blocking their re-entry and using lame excuses such as " you chose to raise your family for a few years" so now you are OUT. You don't belong here. There is no place for women who take a few years off in the workplace.

So now the new spin on this is- Women, if you have babies do not intend to take more than your maternity leave off, if you do- you're out. Women- you MUST continue to work right after maternity leave or your place is ONLY in the home. Your 'choice'.

Nice feministic view huh?

Totally agree. Very sad to see the hatred some "feminists" have for SAHMs. So much for the sisterhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These "working moms" that would talk badly about SAHM's that are trying to enter the workforce are very much like the generation of men that said women don't have a place in the workplace.

They are blocking their re-entry and using lame excuses such as " you chose to raise your family for a few years" so now you are OUT. You don't belong here. There is no place for women who take a few years off in the workplace.

So now the new spin on this is- Women, if you have babies do not intend to take more than your maternity leave off, if you do- you're out. Women- you MUST continue to work right after maternity leave or your place is ONLY in the home. Your 'choice'.

Nice feministic view huh?

Exaggerate much PP? I was the poster who tried to sidestep this debate, but I think you are wildly twisting the argument the other PPs are making. Like it or not, the decision to stop working for many years is one that is not going to help you get the next job. And volunteering with the PTA in most cases isn't perceived as an asset in the workforce. These are reasonable statements that are not trying to force all women to take a single path. I say this as a mother of 2 who took the first year of my first child's life off work (actually quit my job) and have declined promotions and new opportunities to have more time with my family. And yet I keep getting better offers and more opportunities. You can opt out but you have to do it very strategically if you intend to re-enter the work force.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These "working moms" that would talk badly about SAHM's that are trying to enter the workforce are very much like the generation of men that said women don't have a place in the workplace.

They are blocking their re-entry and using lame excuses such as " you chose to raise your family for a few years" so now you are OUT. You don't belong here. There is no place for women who take a few years off in the workplace.

So now the new spin on this is- Women, if you have babies do not intend to take more than your maternity leave off, if you do- you're out. Women- you MUST continue to work right after maternity leave or your place is ONLY in the home. Your 'choice'.

Nice feministic view huh?

There's a big difference between maternity leave for a few months and being a SAHM who drops out of the workforce for a few years. People's professional skills get rusty, their subject matter expertise becomes outdated, and even familiarity with basic software gets old. I say this as someone who SAH for almost five years and in just that time realized that I lagged behind my peers in many ways when I returned.

I disagree with an earlier PP that I'm not as ambitious as the millennials or kids fresh out of school. To the contrary I appreciate the professional opportunities I have so much more than some of twenty-somethings in my office. Also, I've caught up quickly. I took a bit of a demotion to get my food in the door but have since been promoted twice in three years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These "working moms" that would talk badly about SAHM's that are trying to enter the workforce are very much like the generation of men that said women don't have a place in the workplace.

They are blocking their re-entry and using lame excuses such as " you chose to raise your family for a few years" so now you are OUT. You don't belong here. There is no place for women who take a few years off in the workplace.

So now the new spin on this is- Women, if you have babies do not intend to take more than your maternity leave off, if you do- you're out. Women- you MUST continue to work right after maternity leave or your place is ONLY in the home. Your 'choice'.

Nice feministic view huh?

There's a big difference between maternity leave for a few months and being a SAHM who drops out of the workforce for a few years. People's professional skills get rusty, their subject matter expertise becomes outdated, and even familiarity with basic software gets old. I say this as someone who SAH for almost five years and in just that time realized that I lagged behind my peers in many ways when I returned.

I disagree with an earlier PP that I'm not as ambitious as the millennials or kids fresh out of school. To the contrary I appreciate the professional opportunities I have so much more than some of twenty-somethings in my office. Also, I've caught up quickly. I took a bit of a demotion to get my food in the door but have since been promoted twice in three years.

SO what is a SAHM who wants to go back to work, to do? Live off her husband's salary and be a poor role model for her children? Nice option WOHM are giving...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but I don't feel bad. This is a conscious choice you made, to give up your career and be supported by your husband, and you are now perceived as always putting career on the back burner. PTSA and HOA simply don't translate to the real world.

^^ burned by the ex-wife for alimony, are ya?

Eh, I am the happily married wife of a federal employee who worked part-time for several years to avoid the situation in which OP now finds herself.

This is, in fact, the perception. You can be sweet and encouraging, but that won't help anything.

Stop telling even yourself that you're "willing" to start at the bottom. You see now that you will be lucky to get a job at the bottom, and you need to own that and make sure employers know that you are ready (not willing) to work. Volunteer work is great, but it essentially doesn't count. If I were you, I'd take classes at community college and a job at retail. Show you're ready, gain some marketable skills. Then you will be a more attractive candidate.

You are a really mean person. That is all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These "working moms" that would talk badly about SAHM's that are trying to enter the workforce are very much like the generation of men that said women don't have a place in the workplace.

They are blocking their re-entry and using lame excuses such as " you chose to raise your family for a few years" so now you are OUT. You don't belong here. There is no place for women who take a few years off in the workplace.

So now the new spin on this is- Women, if you have babies do not intend to take more than your maternity leave off, if you do- you're out. Women- you MUST continue to work right after maternity leave or your place is ONLY in the home. Your 'choice'.

Nice feministic view huh?

There's a big difference between maternity leave for a few months and being a SAHM who drops out of the workforce for a few years. People's professional skills get rusty, their subject matter expertise becomes outdated, and even familiarity with basic software gets old. I say this as someone who SAH for almost five years and in just that time realized that I lagged behind my peers in many ways when I returned.

I disagree with an earlier PP that I'm not as ambitious as the millennials or kids fresh out of school. To the contrary I appreciate the professional opportunities I have so much more than some of twenty-somethings in my office. Also, I've caught up quickly. I took a bit of a demotion to get my food in the door but have since been promoted twice in three years.

SO what is a SAHM who wants to go back to work, to do? Live off her husband's salary and be a poor role model for her children? Nice option WOHM are giving...

Why are some "feminists" so disdainful of families who decide that one parent will work and the other will care for the children and home? They are each contributing to the family. Why is the stay-at-home parent perceived as a freeloader? He or she is doing the childcare that would definitely otherwise be outsourced and housework/cooking that might otherwise be outsourced. Why is it offensive that they perceive the working spouse's salary as FAMILY money?

[Anonymous]

OP -- I'll spare you my views on staying home vs. working bc frankly who cares -- but I think you're onto a good thing with short term contract work and campaigns. Is there any way you can get a few short term contracts in quick succession or simultaneously and parlay those into at least a part time job for 6 months? If yes -- doesn't that add more to your resume than an internship anyway? I feel like that would be a nice transition back to full time work and often places offering short term contract work don't care why you need/want the work -- i.e. they need to get their work done and know they won't be dealing you in a few weeks or months, so they could care less whether this is just for extra money or resume value or whatever for you.

Aside from that -- if you have done campaign work before, can you find a way to latch onto the many many campaigns that will be happening from now through next Nov? Downside to that is that it isn't paid work often -- so you may be spending more than you're bringing in. But if you're serious about getting something on your resume and treat the work as a "real" job and are selectively open about your desire to continue back to full time work after Nov 2016 -- you have a chance of getting noticed by all kinds of others working for the campaign who may be willing to make a few intros for you. And even if that doesn't happen-- you have a yr or so of recent work experience on your resume, which will make applying for others jobs a bit easier as you won't be discussing your last job from 10 yrs ago or the PTA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These "working moms" that would talk badly about SAHM's that are trying to enter the workforce are very much like the generation of men that said women don't have a place in the workplace.

They are blocking their re-entry and using lame excuses such as " you chose to raise your family for a few years" so now you are OUT. You don't belong here. There is no place for women who take a few years off in the workplace.

So now the new spin on this is- Women, if you have babies do not intend to take more than your maternity leave off, if you do- you're out. Women- you MUST continue to work right after maternity leave or your place is ONLY in the home. Your 'choice'.

Nice feministic view huh?

There's a big difference between maternity leave for a few months and being a SAHM who drops out of the workforce for a few years. People's professional skills get rusty, their subject matter expertise becomes outdated, and even familiarity with basic software gets old. I say this as someone who SAH for almost five years and in just that time realized that I lagged behind my peers in many ways when I returned.

I disagree with an earlier PP that I'm not as ambitious as the millennials or kids fresh out of school. To the contrary I appreciate the professional opportunities I have so much more than some of twenty-somethings in my office. Also, I've caught up quickly. I took a bit of a demotion to get my food in the door but have since been promoted twice in three years.

SO what is a SAHM who wants to go back to work, to do? Live off her husband's salary and be a poor role model for her children? Nice option WOHM are giving...

Why are some "feminists" so disdainful of families who decide that one parent will work and the other will care for the children and home? They are each contributing to the family. Why is the stay-at-home parent perceived as a freeloader? He or she is doing the childcare that would definitely otherwise be outsourced and housework/cooking that might otherwise be outsourced. Why is it offensive that they perceive the working spouse's salary as FAMILY money?

I have two girls and am a SAHM. FOr me, I am lucky that we can afford to have me stay home. FOr many, staying home is not a choice due to the high cost of living and expenses of raising a family here. Moms need to go back to work in order to save for the kids' college, retirement and pay the mortgage not to mention swim lesson and travel soccer. Depending on a lot of things, many of which we can't not predict, my DDs may have to be WOHM or may choose to be. In any case, I want them to aim high and for a successful career but wonder how I model that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are non profits so popular for SAHMs who are trying to get back in? Better hours? More flexible? Less "urgent@ work? Seriously is it one of those workplaces with less accountability because they typically pay less?

Because they value meaningful work.