How do you and DH spend your evenings, after the kids are in bed?

[Anonymous]

we're only just now expecting one, may I still reply?

DH and I don't have kids yet but after we eat dinner we generally play scrabble or watch a movie or talk for an hour or two and then we also come upstairs, get into bed, and he watches DVR'd teevee shows while I fart around on the internet. We NEVER have sex in the evenings because I'm usually tired by then -- I think we both like to get intimate in the morning better.

I kept hoping that we wouldn't have time for so much internetting once the baby comes, but frightening, two or three of my friends recently had babies and they are on facebook every time I am -- yikes! Maybe I'd better make some changes now before we really land in a rut...

[Anonymous]

Something that surprises me about this thread is how many say/ imply they don't eat dinner with their kids. We've made a point to do that from earliest days, even with youngest (1.5 years) and even though we eat at 7:30 - 8:00 most nights. They then go to bed by 9; we sometimes make it to 10.

[Anonymous]

Will they be holding her when she's 10 and can't sleep? I just don't think it makes for a healthy marriage.

Of course, they will. Children never evolve, they're the same at two as they are at 10. They'll also be holding her at 18 when she's in college, her roommate will just have to suck it up and deal. Her DH will have to scoot over on their wedding night.

Clearly, your marriage is healthy since you have so much time to judge what works for other people.

I'm sorry you're sad and bitter, don't take it out on others. Hugz, sister.

[Anonymous]

"That would drive me insane! Maybe it isn't so bad being a single parent. I would be fuming every day if I did everything while my husband just sat there. "

The PP's husband is not "just sitting there." He is working, presumably to support his family. I get frustrated by all of the posts that ignore the fact that working outside of the home (not just cleaning, doing laundry, etc.) is contributing to the family. I sometimes wonder if the women who complain about their husbands not helping consider all that their husbands do at work. I know my husband at least would be thrilled to have more time to help with the baby, and yes, even clean up.

[Anonymous]

My goodness, I had no idea how many people spent time on the computer at night! I'm in front of one most of the day, and the last thing I want to look at in the evening is a screen. That's why I stopped watching TV -- just a total time suck. We have a glass of wine; I read; my husband watches some TV. Isn't anyone out there having, you know, fun in bed???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something that surprises me about this thread is how many say/ imply they don't eat dinner with their kids. We've made a point to do that from earliest days, even with youngest (1.5 years) and even though we eat at 7:30 - 8:00 most nights. They then go to bed by 9; we sometimes make it to 10.

I think many working parents would love to eat with the kids but it's not necessarily possible or practical. I rush home to relieve our nanny, cook dinner for baby and toddler, feed them and snack while they are eating. They eat at 6:30 at the latest, then a little play time, baths, books and asleep by 8:30. DH and I don't eat until at least 9:30 or 10.

[Anonymous]

Exactly. I have one and a half hour to spend with DD once I get home from work. I'm certainly not going to spend it cooking dinner. I feed her and play with her and bathe her and put her to bed. Then it's time for DH and me.

She's only 9 months so not eating what we eat but when she is older we will make a point to eat dinner together as a family.

[Anonymous]

Something that surprises me about this thread is how many say/ imply they don't eat dinner with their kids. We've made a point to do that from earliest days, even with youngest (1.5 years) and even though we eat at 7:30 - 8:00 most nights. They then go to bed by 9; we sometimes make it to 10.

I'm a PP. We have a young baby, so she doesn't eat dinner yet, and she goes to bed at 7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Will they be holding her when she's 10 and can't sleep? I just don't think it makes for a healthy marriage.

Of course, they will. Children never evolve, they're the same at two as they are at 10. They'll also be holding her at 18 when she's in college, her roommate will just have to suck it up and deal. Her DH will have to scoot over on their wedding night.

Clearly, your marriage is healthy since you have so much time to judge what works for other people.
I'm sorry you're sad and bitter, don't take it out on others. Hugz, sister.

Not spending "so much time"...and yes, it is healthy. Because my children have healthy sleeping habits that allow my husband and I to actually spend time together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something that surprises me about this thread is how many say/ imply they don't eat dinner with their kids. We've made a point to do that from earliest days, even with youngest (1.5 years) and even though we eat at 7:30 - 8:00 most nights. They then go to bed by 9; we sometimes make it to 10.

I'd love to eat dinner "as a family," but there's no way DD would last until 9pm. I get home at 6:30, so even if we were able to eat by 7, that's really the time she needs to start getting ready for bath and bed.