How long does the man pick up the check?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men please elaborate!! Why do you want to pick up the check?

I don't. YOU can pick up the check as often as you'd like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in my late 40s. When I was dating in my 20s, I split checks with every guy that I was casually dating. The only man I allowed to pay for me was the man I ended up marrying. He is still picking up the check.

That's funny. I let every man pay until I met the one I wanted to marry. I felt an overwhelming sense of partnership between us early on. We also got engaged almost instantly, so it all felt like "our" money anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
What exactly is the obligation for a guy to pick up the check repeatedly other than the traditional role of men versus women? I am actually surprised at the number of posters who seem to be fine with reinforcing that aspect of the traditional role of the respective genders.

Free movies, free meals, free dates, free drinks, duh.

[Anonymous]

Offering to split the check seems cheap. Offer to pay in an aggressive manner, don't ask if he'd like you to pay. If he still pays, contribute in another way. You can buy theater tickets, pay for dessert and drinks at a different location, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Forever.

Man? Woman? Why?

The question was "How long does the man pick up the check?" The answer is "forever". Real men pay on dates.

this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here...during the "courtship" process, I pay for all of the dates. Once dating, I'd say it's about 80/20--I pay for most of the dates and she'll chip in with a few special treats. The lines are also blurred once you've been dating for a while because of groceries/expenses/etc. I may foot the bill for a Whole Foods trip, but then she may pick up Chipotle or Happy Hour.

Woman here--originally I agreed with the forever poster--but in practice--I've done 80/20.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
What exactly is the obligation for a guy to pick up the check repeatedly other than the traditional role of men versus women? I am actually surprised at the number of posters who seem to be fine with reinforcing that aspect of the traditional role of the respective genders.

Free movies, free meals, free dates, free drinks, duh.

I thought that's why companies gave us the extra 22% - so we could treat the little lady to something special.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here...during the "courtship" process, I pay for all of the dates. Once dating, I'd say it's about 80/20--I pay for most of the dates and she'll chip in with a few special treats. The lines are also blurred once you've been dating for a while because of groceries/expenses/etc. I may foot the bill for a Whole Foods trip, but then she may pick up Chipotle or Happy Hour.

Should I continue to offer to split? Is that appreciated? Do I assume he'll pay- that would just make me feel like an ass.

Stop offering. On your way to the bathroom give your server the your credit card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I thought that's why companies gave us the extra 22% - so we could treat the little lady to something special.

You don't really believe that, do you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I thought that's why companies gave us the extra 22% - so we could treat the little lady to something special.

You don't really believe that, do you?

No. I don't actually get an extra 22%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I thought that's why companies gave us the extra 22% - so we could treat the little lady to something special.

You don't really believe that, do you?

No. I don't actually get an extra 22%.

Do you pay?

[Anonymous]

The guys should pay for the first few dates. The women should offer and the men should refuse. After that, depends on the relative incomes.

I work in public interest in an educated but low paying field. I'm dating a guy who makes a ton, then I'm totally comfortable with and 80/20 or 90/10 split. But if a guy makes less, I'd rather pay for more so that we can DO more. If he's always paying but doesn't make a ton, that limits what we can do.

[Anonymous]

My husband almost always paid.


BUT I put a lot of effort into looking good and it isn't cheap. He may have been paying for dinner but I was paying for pretty clothes, blowouts, nails etc.

My female friends in Boston seem to split the check. But some of them are frump monsters and spend next to nothing on maintenance. They also eat a lot and are kind of like men in a way.

I'm glad my husband and I had a true courtship phase where he took me on dates and put effort into getting to know me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You're not confused. I think you pretty much nailed it. On the upside, paying for the check for men is a laughably minor inconvenience when compared to the second class citizen status to which women have been relegated throughout most of recorded history. So there's that.

Translation: We'll be victims forever and you'll like it![/quote


You mean: babies come out of us and will forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so confused.

So gender roles are cool when it comes to men paying during dating, but not cool when you're married and your husband doesn't want to take care of the baby or vacuum?

Ladies, you set your own precedent.

Why are you okay with gender norms around women giving birth?