Want to continue smoking pot, then we aren't paying for college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pot is that much of a nuisance to you that you would risk your child not attending college? Don't cut off your nose to spite your face.

Oh, please.

OP's child is doing drugs. At that point, it's whatever it takes to keep him alive. Because yes, he will progress to heavier drugs, he'll steal, hurt people, maybe prostitute himself to finance his addiction, and end up dead.

He can go to college later if he gets clean. He can't go to college if he's dead.

I'm the one you are responding to. I've smoked pot as a teen, and have never done any of those things that you listed. I've never even tried any other drug. Overreact much!!

I'm the poster you're quoting.

You were either incredibly lucky or you had above-average willpower and moral fibre. Or you had someone who was very, very good at rescuing you from that downward spiral.

I'm happy you never went on to harder drug and the behaviours that come with that kind of addiction. No one should go through that.

But I reject your accusation of overreacting. What I described is what happens to the vast majority of people who use drugs, even lighter ones. It is a slippery slope. The only way to be sure you'll stay alive and you won't wreck your life and other people's lives is not to start at all.

25 percent of teens try marijuana. I can assure you that the large majority of them, like myself, end up being productive members of society, and very few end up prostituting themselves to try to get their next toke.

This whole exchange reminds me of that scene in Mean Girls - "what are marijuana tablets?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pot is that much of a nuisance to you that you would risk your child not attending college? Don't cut off your nose to spite your face.

Oh, please.

OP's child is doing drugs. At that point, it's whatever it takes to keep him alive. Because yes, he will progress to heavier drugs, he'll steal, hurt people, maybe prostitute himself to finance his addiction, and end up dead.

He can go to college later if he gets clean. He can't go to college if he's dead.

I'm the one you are responding to. I've smoked pot as a teen, and have never done any of those things that you listed. I've never even tried any other drug. Overreact much!!

I'm the poster you're quoting.

You were either incredibly lucky or you had above-average willpower and moral fibre. Or you had someone who was very, very good at rescuing you from that downward spiral.

I'm happy you never went on to harder drug and the behaviours that come with that kind of addiction. No one should go through that.

But I reject your accusation of overreacting. What I described is what happens to the vast majority of people who use drugs, even lighter ones. It is a slippery slope. The only way to be sure you'll stay alive and you won't wreck your life and other people's lives is not to start at all.

Well I reject your assertion that this happens to the vast majority of people who smoke pot. Pot is very different than any other drug. You really can't OD on it (unless you eat a TON) and almost EVERYONE I know smoked it. And I know A LOT OF people. It simply doesn't happen the way you say it does.

I'm no smarter than any other teenager. It has nothing to do with being smart. It has to do with not looking at the world as black and white. My parents didn't over react about pot but described to me in great detail what happens with other drugs. That made me trust them more and not want to try anything harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are his grades fine? Has he been in trouble with the police?

If your answers and yes and no, you're being absurd. Smoking pot isn't a big deal. It will be legal throughout the country before you die, promise.

Just tell him you won't pay any legal bills associated with it and it can't be done on your property.

You really want to destroy your relationship with your son over something this minor? Caz your ultimatum won't work.

It is for teens. It's illegal now and will remain illegal for teens everywhere. Besides the legality issue, it can also have a detrimental impact on the teen brain. What's harmless for an adult is not always harmless for a teen.

Occasional use by teens is to be expected. But if a kid can't or won't stop after his parents tell him he has to, then there is a problem. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a parent's telling a child to stop engaging in illegal activity.

OP, kids who can't or won't stop regular use of intoxicants often have underlying issues. Depression, stress, social troubles, etc. I would first try to figure out if there's an underlying issue. And if there is, try to address that first, in as non-judgmental a way as possible. Tell him you don't want him smoking or possessing while under your roof, of course. At the very least, it's inconsiderate to you and everyone else in the household. And it can be dangerous if he drives while high. It could impair his judgment about wise choices regarding sex and unintended pregnancy. It could impact his friendships and other relationships. It may become frequent enough to impact his grades.

But I wouldn't take away college. I'd make every effort to approach this from in a supportive and non-judgmental role. But also making it clear that his actions impact the household and he needs to understand he doesn't get 100% freedom to do anything he wants without consideration for others. If he wants to be treated like an adult, he needs to take on not just the adult fun, but the adult responsibilities as well.

This is good advice. Take it. And for what it's worth, I'd rather he be smoking than binge drinking and doing God knows what. He's either got something going on emotionally or he's bored. He'll grow out of it or he won't but not going to college isn't going to help anyone.

[Anonymous]

Only on DCUM is the real concern whether his grades are good versus habitual pot smoking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you post the other day OP? Seriously relax. Pot smoking is not the end of the world.

You must be high PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just nt give him any spending money for college. So pay for his tuition, room, meal plan, and books with receipt (assuming you were planning to do that ), but do not give him any money for fun. Also stop giving him money for fun stuff now. Explain that it is because of the pot so you don't want to be funding that.

Students have been known to sell their books and meal plans for drugs.

No one gives up food for pot...maybe Chrystal Meth...but not pot.

[Anonymous]

Pot is less dangerous than Alcohol. The only difference is Pot is illegal..Why was it made illegal? Until 1951, it was not illegal.

I do not use any mind altering substance (except Zoloft)...but aside from an obesity risk from the munchies, I do not really see a non-legal risk from pot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:tell him that every coke head who turns into a crack addict, and every pain killer addict who turns to injecting heroine, started off "just smoking pot"

No, they started smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only on DCUM is the real concern whether his grades are good versus habitual pot smoking.

As it should be, it's the most sensible.

[Anonymous]

serious question on the topic--if you found pot in your teen's room, would you throw it out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:serious question on the topic--if you found pot in your teen's room, would you throw it out?

Yes--have done it several times. Got in the car and found a random trash can on the street or a dumpster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:serious question on the topic--if you found pot in your teen's room, would you throw it out?

Yes--have done it several times. Got in the car and found a random trash can on the street or a dumpster.

Just flush it.

Pretty dumb to drive with if it for no reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thinking about saying this to DS (a HS senior) about to graduate who has been caught with weed several times?

You sound wise. But does he want to go to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:serious question on the topic--if you found pot in your teen's room, would you throw it out?

No, but I would smoke it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:serious question on the topic--if you found pot in your teen's room, would you throw it out?

Yes--have done it several times. Got in the car and found a random trash can on the street or a dumpster.

Just flush it.

Pretty dumb to drive with if it for no reason.

I value my plumbing. No one is stopping a middle aged white woman in work attire and heels for drugs in upper NW.