Want to continue smoking pot, then we aren't paying for college

[Anonymous]

Thinking about saying this to DS (a HS senior) about to graduate who has been caught with weed several times?

[Anonymous]

Fine by me.

[Anonymous]

Did you post the other day OP? Seriously relax. Pot smoking is not the end of the world.

[Anonymous]

You aren't really going to follow through with it though, so why make empty threats?

[Anonymous]

Where is he getting the money to pay for the pot?

[Anonymous]

Hope I don't find myself in your shoes, but if I do, I think I would only say that if my child was getting bad grades, getting in other types of trouble (skipping school, legal, whatever else) or showed signs of selling/distributing (which is probably mutually exclusive with actually using) - but my oldest isn't college bound and my next in line is only in middle school so who knows what he will be like. So, you can probably take what I say with a grain of salt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where is he getting the money to pay for the pot?

Yep, this is the question.

[Anonymous]

Pot is that much of a nuisance to you that you would risk your child not attending college? Don't cut off your nose to spite your face.

[Anonymous]

What if he gets caught again, will you follow through?

I actually don't think this is a good idea. What will he be doing in lieu of college? Bussing tables and getting high? There is a definite risk of the kid turning to selling drugs or engaging in harder drugs if he doesn't make an attempt at his education.

[Anonymous]

What does he want to study in college?

[Anonymous]

So, if you aren't going to pay for college, OP, what will your DS do? Not go to college? Still go, but need to figure out how to pay for it himself? Are you prepared for him to say, "Ok, I'll just move out, get a job, and live my own life"?

Don't make empty threats. I know it's hard to deal with your DS doing something you are so opposed to, but remember that whether your DS goes to college or moves out on his own, you won't be there to police his activities. Depriving your child of an education isn't going to help his situation in the short or long term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thinking about saying this to DS (a HS senior) about to graduate who has been caught with weed several times?

I think it is really horrible when a young adult believes there is going to be money/help for college and then when it is too late to do anything about it are told, "Nope! Sorry Charlie!"

Did you ever before tell him, seriously "if you continue to smoke pot we will take away college funds so you better have a backup plan"?

If not, this is a rotten thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Are his grades fine? Has he been in trouble with the police?

If your answers and yes and no, you're being absurd. Smoking pot isn't a big deal. It will be legal throughout the country before you die, promise.

Just tell him you won't pay any legal bills associated with it and it can't be done on your property.

You really want to destroy your relationship with your son over something this minor? Caz your ultimatum won't work.

[Anonymous]

I'll be damn if I work to pay for my kid's drugs.

[Anonymous]

great idea, so he stays home and smokes pot and doesnt go to college.

OR, he can get a college eduation smoking pot.

dont you see? its best to let him go. but definitely educate him - tell him that every coke head who turns into a crack addict, and every pain killer addict who turns to injecting heroine, started off "just smoking pot" - the full blown addicts get picked out of that group he's affiliating with, so he needs to beware and watch out.