Guns at Wedding Location/Home WWYD?

[Anonymous]

An invitation to someones home or event does not mean yoi get to demand things or information from them. You can ask. If the answer does not meet your needs or comfort level you can plan accordingly so you can feel safe. This is your sisters wedding not yours. Don t make it about you. Bring a sitter, watch your kids closely or choose to stay home. Don t be a self rightous ass.

[Anonymous]

I played with my parents unsecured guns all through my childhood. Loaded them, cocked them, held the hammer (is that what that part is called?) and pulled the trigger, then slowly lowered it.

I also almost shot my brother as a teenager when I thought he was an intruder.

Guns need to be locked up. It's OK to insist and ask for details and/or to see the gun safe. My parents would have been evasive about this because they would not have wanted to deal with or admit to having pistols in underwear drawers and shotguns under the bed. Some people are crazy WRT guns. You don't have to put your kids at risk to keep the family peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An invitation to someones home or event does not mean yoi get to demand things or information from them. You can ask. If the answer does not meet your needs or comfort level you can plan accordingly so you can feel safe. This is your sisters wedding not yours. Don t make it about you. Bring a sitter, watch your kids closely or choose to stay home. Don t be a self rightous ass.

Nice try. Insisting on your kids' safety is not being self righteous. Saying to your sister "I'm sorry, I really want to come to the wedding, but my kids' safety comes first. I need to know what's up with the guns before we commit to coming."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the OP and its a completely real/legit post. Is TX and guns and my sister. And I am concerned. No trolling at all. I am concerned that she won't tell me more specifics. yes, my kids are explorers and will be at their "fun" aunts house. So they will be running around the way they always do with her. I don't know anyone there who can babysit but will look into it. It's a rural part of texas. They are kind of anti-big-brother conspiracy theory types, so it wouldn't surprise me if the guns weren't all locked up. I hope so, and realize I should take my sis at her word. But the fact she is being evasive concerns me.

We totally believe you!

For a Texan, she is not being evasive. She told you they were "secured". My guns are all "secured" as in the safe. That's all you need to know. I would take a nanny with you if you are that concerned. When you start in about "well what do you mean by secure and can I see them?" you are being difficult, especially in an open carry state. Actually, maybe kids should just stay home.

OP, this says it well. Your sister's (and new BIL's) guns are not the only guns that will be there. This is TX and there are a lot of open carry folks who want (and insist upon having) their guns with them at all times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By the time my kids were 5, they were already able to correctly and accurately fire a .22. The two year old stays with you, the other two should have better sense.

I pray to God you're a troll.

Nope. They learned under supervision, using a child's model single shot .22. They also learned gun safety. Sorry your kids are incapable of self-restraint, but that's largely a consequence of poor parenting. Most kids understand no by a year old, obey it consistently buy 18 months or so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By the time my kids were 5, they were already able to correctly and accurately fire a .22. The two year old stays with you, the other two should have better sense.

I pray to God you're a troll.

Nope. They learned under supervision, using a child's model single shot .22. They also learned gun safety. Sorry your kids are incapable of self-restraint, but that's largely a consequence of poor parenting. Most kids understand no by a year old, obey it consistently buy 18 months or so.

Consistently, maybe - but not consistently enough that I'd stake their life on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the OP and its a completely real/legit post. Is TX and guns and my sister. And I am concerned. No trolling at all. I am concerned that she won't tell me more specifics. yes, my kids are explorers and will be at their "fun" aunts house. So they will be running around the way they always do with her. I don't know anyone there who can babysit but will look into it. It's a rural part of texas. They are kind of anti-big-brother conspiracy theory types, so it wouldn't surprise me if the guns weren't all locked up. I hope so, and realize I should take my sis at her word. But the fact she is being evasive concerns me.

Send her a nice email saying that you must know what "locked up" means exactly or the kids won't be able to attend. If "locked up" does not mean a gun safe, the kids stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An invitation to someones home or event does not mean yoi get to demand things or information from them. You can ask. If the answer does not meet your needs or comfort level you can plan accordingly so you can feel safe. This is your sisters wedding not yours. Don t make it about you. Bring a sitter, watch your kids closely or choose to stay home. Don t be a self rightous ass.

Oh yes, it does, when a child's life is at stake.

OP's not the ass here.

[Anonymous]

No no it does not. you can choose to attend or not. You don't get to demand shit of people in their own homes. Honest to god.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By the time my kids were 5, they were already able to correctly and accurately fire a .22. The two year old stays with you, the other two should have better sense.

I pray to God you're a troll.

Nope. They learned under supervision, using a child's model single shot .22. They also learned gun safety. Sorry your kids are incapable of self-restraint, but that's largely a consequence of poor parenting. Most kids understand no by a year old, obey it consistently buy 18 months or so.

Consistently, maybe - but not consistently enough that I'd stake their life on it.

NP here. No responsible gun owner is going to let a toddler use a gun unsupervised. But teaching them how to use one safely and respectfully can be taught at an early age. The fear and paranoia expressed by some PPs is evidence (to me) that they have never been taught how to safely handle a gun. I'm curious- at what age would you give a child a pocket knife? Because in my experience, it is not uncommon for young kids to have their own pocket knife/multi-tool.

[Anonymous]

Pocket knife? When they can show me on an unsharpened one that they can open and close it safely. Probably 4 or 5, since by then they need one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No no it does not. you can choose to attend or not. You don't get to demand shit of people in their own homes. Honest to god.

this isn't "people" we're talking about. It's family. I have some respect for the "none of your business" crowd but that argument makes absolutely no sense here. This is OP's sister, the aunt of the kids in question, who is new to guns herself, not some stranger over on a playdate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:14:38 here. glad to help. if I get another few minutes I will look for that thread. It was a great discussion, and you can't say that about many gun discussions around here.

The key is really respect. anti-gun urbanites are not as subtle as we think we are about hiding the disdain we feel for gun owners, so they get defensive and exacerbate their asshole tendencies. It's not anyone's finest hour. If the wedding's not like next week, I'd pick up and read "Gun Guys" for more cultural insight. One thing it will teach you is how important safety is to the gun culture, so you'll be able to spot when your family is trying to pull wool over your eyes that "everybody does [unsafe thing]."

Op again, yes, thank you! I know they care about the kids but it's a MYOB thing. My sis is a former northeast liberal (lol!) so seeing her in this culture now is interesting to say the least. I try to be respectful, but my children's safety is paramount.

(14:38) that's a huge advantage. If you have a good relationship I think this can go very smoothly if you go a bit of the distance she's gone--it's probably been quite a journey for her.

And she doesn't have kids of her own yet, so there is a level of parental concern and reality about little kids that she doesn't "get" yet either, so keep that in mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:14:38 here. glad to help. if I get another few minutes I will look for that thread. It was a great discussion, and you can't say that about many gun discussions around here.

The key is really respect. anti-gun urbanites are not as subtle as we think we are about hiding the disdain we feel for gun owners, so they get defensive and exacerbate their asshole tendencies. It's not anyone's finest hour. If the wedding's not like next week, I'd pick up and read "Gun Guys" for more cultural insight. One thing it will teach you is how important safety is to the gun culture, so you'll be able to spot when your family is trying to pull wool over your eyes that "everybody does [unsafe thing]."

Op again, yes, thank you! I know they care about the kids but it's a MYOB thing. My sis is a former northeast liberal (lol!) so seeing her in this culture now is interesting to say the least. I try to be respectful, but my children's safety is paramount.

(14:38) that's a huge advantage. If you have a good relationship I think this can go very smoothly if you go a bit of the distance she's gone--it's probably been quite a journey for her.

And she doesn't have kids of her own yet, so there is a level of parental concern and reality about little kids that she doesn't "get" yet either, so keep that in mind.

I hope OP reads the bolded sentence above and realizes how judgmental she is. To push beyond "yes they are secured" in an open carry state is being a PITA. OP should just stay home with family. Unless she lives in VA which is also open carry - oh, she probably didn't know that. Yes, anytime you go into VA there is open carry and concealed carry. So maybe OP should just stay home, memorize all the open carry states and avoid them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you not believe that your sister is telling you the truth when she says they are locked up? Unless your kids can pick locks, they will be fine.

Different people have different ideas of what that means. Guns should be stored, unloaded, in a locked safe. In a situation where it will be difficult to properly supervise children, I would want to know that that's how they were stored.

oP here. And this is what I agree with.

My father was a gun collector. When he was very ill we'd go to my parents house and I'd ask about the guns (my kids were 4 & 6). My mother would get very annoyed with me. "They are locked up and put away. I don't know where."
I knew my parents had a safe and my dad was a big rule follower/safety nut, but my dad was on medications and not in control (morphine, etc.).
When I could not get a specific answer as to which rooms had guns in them and which ones did not, I told my kids, "The whole time we are here, I am going to need you to be next to me or daddy. You can't go in any room alone except the bathroom."

She suddenly remembered where they were, and told us. From then on, we stayed at a hotel and I said it was because it was easier to keep everyone safe at the Hilton and everyone slept better when we did it that way.

It was awkward, but as a parent you have to assume the worst will happen and non-parents sometimes don't see things from the same lens.

However I tell my kids people with tattoos, motorcycles, and even guns are often so proud of their things, if you ask them about them, nicely, they will tell you all about them.
If you ask your future family member "How do you store your guns, and what kind of classes did you have to take to get a license in your area," he'd probably be happy to educate you about it.

Sorry to lump things together like that, but this is a theme in our travels. People tell their kids to avoid those who have different life styles for safety reasons. If we see people standing near motorcycles, my kids want to touch them. People are really proud of those kinds of things (like gun collectors).

I also love the idea of bringing a babysitter if possible.