Hand-me-down clothes with a "dig"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don't get the problem, and I'm a generally pretty sensitive, sometimes oversensitive person.

As I understand it, she send your son clothes -- which I would be thrilled about (albeit they may not be your taste) and a note directly to him, which says something like:

Hi Little Opie, I hope these clothes fit by the time you grow into them and they are not out of style! Love Aunt Marge.

WHAT IS THE BIG EFFIN DEAL?

8:10 again. It's a DCUM classic. Instead of being clear and direct, the aggrieved party takes to DCUM to fulminate about perceived slights. This is apparently most common in marriages; to read DCUM, you'd think no one has a mutually respectful, honest and direct relationship with their spouse.

OP can simply tell her SIL she doesn't want the clothes. But I bet she won't.

You are just a much better and smarter person than all of the rest of us poor slobs. You are so brilliant and self-assured that I am humbled to be in the company of such greatness. I hate to think of you wasting your time here so please fell free to stay off this site. I am ashamed to have wasted your time like this when you should be off curing cancer and enjoying your perfect children and husband. Please - for your sake - don't come back to DCUM.

Hit a nerve, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my sister and I seem to be going though what seems to be the prequel to your own story. My sister has two sons above the 97th percentile and although I'm still pregnant my son is measuring right now in the 29th. She's always making comments about how my kid will have two bigger cousins to look after him and how he can have their clothes since hers barely got to wear them anyway, etc. I can just totally see her going down the same road as your SIL. Right now I just smile and "uh-huh" it but once he's here I'll probably be more aggressive about telling her to STFU. You should too.

Bigger as older right?

FFS

Nope, she definitely means bigger as in size. She goes on and on about future football scholarships, etc. It's obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my sister and I seem to be going though what seems to be the prequel to your own story. My sister has two sons above the 97th percentile and although I'm still pregnant my son is measuring right now in the 29th. She's always making comments about how my kid will have two bigger cousins to look after him and how he can have their clothes since hers barely got to wear them anyway, etc. I can just totally see her going down the same road as your SIL. Right now I just smile and "uh-huh" it but once he's here I'll probably be more aggressive about telling her to STFU. You should too.

Bigger as older right?

FFS

Nope, she definitely means bigger as in size. She goes on and on about future football scholarships, etc. It's obnoxious.

OH -- then just look at her like she is crazy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid is 1.5 and hers is 2.5 years old. You never know what size they will be is 5 years. You are barely ever going to see her. Just because your brothers were teased doesn't mean your son will, especially because he is in the 50th percentile rank. Just let it go.

Good point, My DS was 95th percentile in height at age 2.5. He is 5 now and at the 40th percentile. My sister was a tiny, tiny baby/toddler. I don't know exactly when things changed (i'd say puberty) but as an adult, she is 5"9'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you're overreacting, unless she had a history of being rude and mean in general.

I have a long, 21-pound six month old who I call "Little X" as a term of affection.

Don't be obtuse. My 17 month old is only 20 pound and calling him "little" is indeed and insult. Can you not see the difference or do you just want to brag about how big your baby is?

Using the term little is a definite insult?
That is stupid

You are a little person, PP. You are small minded. You are short on common sense. You are very small.


Did you take any of that as a compliment?

You have to be stupid to think using those comments as a comparison made any sense.
I am very small -- IT IS A FACT, NOT AN INSULT.
Put in the right context anything can be used as an insult. But the general use of the word "little" or "short" is not an automatic insult.
I guess you are "short" on your meds today.

You do realize that your comment to PP about being "short" on her meds proved her point and not yours, right? Short as in "not enough".

And also to echo other's comments - you are a female. It is different for boys.

It may be different for boys, but this baby is 18 friggin' months old. This is all in his mom's head.

[Anonymous]

I have one of those giant kids. (90th percentile since birth, and has always run a couple sizes ahead of her age.) It wouldn't occur to me to think that a child being smaller than mine was a bad thing. It just IS. Little kids are little by definition; you are possibly being over-sensitive. (and your SIL's wording may be awkward so you're taking it as a slight.)

Either way, she's giving you free stuff. I'd love to spend less on clothes for my kids. If it bugs you, tell her that she can stop sending it.

[Anonymous]

Right this is one of those moments where YOUR insecurities are CAUSING YOUR problems. And you are blaming it on others, acting like you're being victimized/picked on.

Snap out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you're overreacting, unless she had a history of being rude and mean in general.

I have a long, 21-pound six month old who I call "Little X" as a term of affection.

Don't be obtuse. My 17 month old is only 20 pound and calling him "little" is indeed and insult. Can you not see the difference or do you just want to brag about how big your baby is?

I'm not being obtuse. Babies are little. "Little" is also a term of affection. And although my child is "tall" and big now, I highly doubt he'll end up tall as an adult since his dad is only 5'8".

It is NOT an insult to call a baby or toddler little. A school-age boy? Yes, I think that would probably make him feel bad. But a BABY? A toddler? It's only insulting if the parents themselves feel badly about their child's size.

[Anonymous]

Oh am I going to be left to wonder forever what's the old school TV show nickname? Is it Little Timmy (from Lassie?). Little Joe?

[Anonymous]

Being short myself and having an ex-preemie, 5th percentile son, I would not find any of this funny.

I would tell her plainly that she should stop referring to your son's size. No explanations are deserved or necessary. Thank her for the clothes received so far, and add that you will not need more clothes in the future.

She will get the message that you are miffed, and she might or might not be upset in return - however that is not your problem!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you're overreacting, unless she had a history of being rude and mean in general.

I have a long, 21-pound six month old who I call "Little X" as a term of affection.

Don't be obtuse. My 17 month old is only 20 pound and calling him "little" is indeed and insult. Can you not see the difference or do you just want to brag about how big your baby is?

I'm not being obtuse. Babies are little. "Little" is also a term of affection. And although my child is "tall" and big now, I highly doubt he'll end up tall as an adult since his dad is only 5'8".

It is NOT an insult to call a baby or toddler little. A school-age boy? Yes, I think that would probably make him feel bad. But a BABY? A toddler? It's only insulting if the parents themselves feel badly about their child's size.

We understand your point, but it's clear in OP's case that SIL is really thinking of him as a short person compared to her own son at the same age, and finds it a subject of mirth, which is not appropriate, given that he is likely to be short and may be teased for it long-term. That grates on people after a while!

SIL's behavior is condescending and patronizing, and OP feels it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While your SIL may think this is funny, it really is not. Calling a boy little is the same as calling a girl fat -- a dig. She probably thinks it is OK to insult your DS -- some people just think that is funny, or acceptable. I would ask her to stop sending clothes -- they do not fit and you can't store them, but thanks anyway!! If she persists, I would just toss them. I never enjoyed hand me downs much with my kids -- kids clothes are pretty cheap these days and I just never felt like doing it after I got the first bundle from a friend. The nice ones are very easy to resell anyway.

+ 1 And stop the "Little Larlo" comments NOW. And a PP was correct - SIL is putting the boys is competition with the only thing she has now - wait until her son starts playing sports and getting graded in school - the comments will only get worse.

x 1,000 to the above.

OP, if you don't put a stop to it now, it will never end.

Your SIL is being rude and insensitive. You don't talk about people's physical appearance and you don't talk about it especially when a person may be sensitive about the topic.

Also, ITA with the competition angle. You don't want that in either your kid's life or yours.

[Anonymous]

I have a girl so I have never been in the middle of one of these whose boy is bigger contests. My observation has been that mothers of boys act as though their boy's large size is an accomplishment to be proud of which I frankly find weird. My sister has been loudly proclaiming how fast and how big her son grows since he was born.

[Anonymous]

Tell her you don't want the clothes. As she says, they will be out of style by the time they fit. "Your son is just so much bigger, they are no good here."

If she's insulted then she's insulted. Don't worry about it. Why should you have to deal with snide comments AND a box of useless clothes?

Buck up and tell her you don't want the clothes. Then the notes stop.

[Anonymous]

Sell the ones you do not want, buy your kid what you want. She thinks she is funny.