Hand-me-down clothes with a "dig"?

[Anonymous]

I think you are being over-sensitive, calling a 1.5 yr old "little" is not on its face insulting, unless you are looking for the insult.

That said, it is a waste to send hand-me-downs when you can probably buy the equivalent for the price of postage via consignment. Tell her that, and move on. Or just donate the clothing and toss the notes without looking at them. Don't allow yourself to be aggravated.

[Anonymous]

Dear SIL,

It's so sweet of you to send the clothes, but as you say, it will be a while until Larlo fits into them, and meanwhile there's the postage and the storage! So while I greatly appreciate the thought and effort, I think that it would be more sensible if you donated the clothes to a charity near your home.

Love,
You

Either that, or ignore the cards and donate the clothes to your nearest Goodwill.

[Anonymous]

I just don't get the problem, and I'm a generally pretty sensitive, sometimes oversensitive person.

As I understand it, she send your son clothes -- which I would be thrilled about (albeit they may not be your taste) and a note directly to him, which says something like:

Hi Little Opie, I hope these clothes fit by the time you grow into them and they are not out of style! Love Aunt Marge.

WHAT IS THE BIG EFFIN DEAL?

[Anonymous]

Tell her thanks but no thanks. Or don't open the box and just drop it off to Goodwill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don't get the problem, and I'm a generally pretty sensitive, sometimes oversensitive person.

As I understand it, she send your son clothes -- which I would be thrilled about (albeit they may not be your taste) and a note directly to him, which says something like:

Hi Little Opie, I hope these clothes fit by the time you grow into them and they are not out of style! Love Aunt Marge.

WHAT IS THE BIG EFFIN DEAL?

It sounds to me like the note is more like Hi Undersized Runt of an Opie, I'm sending a note addressed to you, even though you are one and a half and can't read and so I know darn well that it's actually your mother who will read it, to express the hope that these clothes will still be in style in the five years it will take you to grow into them from your current puny size at your current pitiful rate of growth! Love, Aunt Marge

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While your SIL may think this is funny, it really is not. Calling a boy little is the same as calling a girl fat -- a dig. She probably thinks it is OK to insult your DS -- some people just think that is funny, or acceptable. I would ask her to stop sending clothes -- they do not fit and you can't store them, but thanks anyway!! If she persists, I would just toss them. I never enjoyed hand me downs much with my kids -- kids clothes are pretty cheap these days and I just never felt like doing it after I got the first bundle from a friend. The nice ones are very easy to resell anyway.

+ 1 And stop the "Little Larlo" comments NOW. And a PP was correct - SIL is putting the boys is competition with the only thing she has now - wait until her son starts playing sports and getting graded in school - the comments will only get worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well first tell her to stop sending hand me downs. The postage is a waste of money. There are plenty of consignment shops and consignment sales, thrift shops and garage sales in this area where you can easily get hand me downs cheap.

OP here - I don't want the clothes. Her taste in clothing is very different than mine. I end up donating about 75% of them to Goodwill.

Do you think that asking her to stop sending the clothes would insult her?

No it would not insult her. It take a lot of time and effort to ship clothes across the country -- far easier to dump them into a Goodwill bin or give them to a neighbor. You'll save her time and money if you'll just be honest.

[Anonymous]

I think you're overreacting, unless she had a history of being rude and mean in general.

I have a long, 21-pound six month old who I call "Little X" as a term of affection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don't get the problem, and I'm a generally pretty sensitive, sometimes oversensitive person.

As I understand it, she send your son clothes -- which I would be thrilled about (albeit they may not be your taste) and a note directly to him, which says something like:

Hi Little Opie, I hope these clothes fit by the time you grow into them and they are not out of style! Love Aunt Marge.

WHAT IS THE BIG EFFIN DEAL?

8:10 again. It's a DCUM classic. Instead of being clear and direct, the aggrieved party takes to DCUM to fulminate about perceived slights. This is apparently most common in marriages; to read DCUM, you'd think no one has a mutually respectful, honest and direct relationship with their spouse.

OP can simply tell her SIL she doesn't want the clothes. But I bet she won't.

[Anonymous]

My SIL sends huge boxes of hand me downs a lot of it is not size appropriate and definitely not my or my kids taste, but we just said thank you. And I have made a lot of money selling it on mommy garage sale site, consignments, and the rest just use as emergency clothes for day care or the trunk of our car. It did get to a point where we ran out of room and my husband told her (cause it's his family) politely that we can't accept more due to size constrictions of our tiny house. But I never took it as a dig.

[Anonymous]

just give the stuff to the Goodwill or thrift shop. No need to start a family feud over this.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible that she is trying to avoid being wasteful or thinks sending you these clothes is nice and friendly, but worries you might think she is a moron for sending too big clothes, so she makes a joke? It's possible that she feels awkward and isn't sure how to handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you're overreacting, unless she had a history of being rude and mean in general.

I have a long, 21-pound six month old who I call "Little X" as a term of affection.

Don't be obtuse. My 17 month old is only 20 pound and calling him "little" is indeed and insult. Can you not see the difference or do you just want to brag about how big your baby is?

[Anonymous]

Agree you're being WAY oversensitive here, unless there is something else going on with her. "Little" is not a dig; and being short is not generally a bad thing. I guess "little" teenage boys may go through a rough patch with teasing, but seriously no adult should give it a second thought. She's trying to do something nice! If the clothes are going to waste, I would find a way to politely refuse; there are several good suggestions in this thread already.

-short person, from short family


ps - i take all my sisters' handmedowns, despite the profusion of pink therein. I hate pink, but they are free, and my daughters are too young to notice much. and the pink is balanced out by my nephew's stuff. up side is that i spend virtually no money on clothes for my kids. i buy them each a couple of nice (non-pink) outfits a year and socks. that's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you're overreacting, unless she had a history of being rude and mean in general.

I have a long, 21-pound six month old who I call "Little X" as a term of affection.

Don't be obtuse. My 17 month old is only 20 pound and calling him "little" is indeed and insult. Can you not see the difference or do you just want to brag about how big your baby is?

I have a 37 pound nine year and and I call her little all the time. This is ridiculous.