Mother NEVER Calls Me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want to connect with your mother, call her.

If you don't care about connecting with her, but do care about being "right" and making sure everything is perfectly "fair," don't call her.

Make your choice, own it, live it, and stop complaining, either way.

Amen. Call her or don't call her, the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All you people whining about how the OP's mother lost a child need to realize that for all the history of mankind mothers have lost children and life still went on. It is only the last few generations where it became the norm for a woman not to have at least one child die. And the longer a mother lives nowadays the higher the chances are she will have one child die before she dies. The death of her son is absolutely no excuse for any behaviour past the one year mark. Either the mother is purposely stuck in her grief and refusing help or she is using it for manipulation. Either way it isn't the OPs fault and she is correct in calling her mother out for this. The OP needs to start living like her mother is dead and get on with her life. Mom certainly isn't needed.

It is only the last few generations where it became the norm to limit family size to 2-3 children. Losing one of two is way different than losing one of eight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All you people whining about how the OP's mother lost a child need to realize that for all the history of mankind mothers have lost children and life still went on. It is only the last few generations where it became the norm for a woman not to have at least one child die. And the longer a mother lives nowadays the higher the chances are she will have one child die before she dies. The death of her son is absolutely no excuse for any behaviour past the one year mark. Either the mother is purposely stuck in her grief and refusing help or she is using it for manipulation. Either way it isn't the OPs fault and she is correct in calling her mother out for this. The OP needs to start living like her mother is dead and get on with her life. Mom certainly isn't needed.

It is only the last few generations where it became the norm to limit family size to 2-3 children. Losing one of two is way different than losing one of eight.

I am sure that is definitely a great comfort to moms who lose kids today..."should've had 7 of them."

[Anonymous]

I felt this way, and my mom suddenly died. What I wouldn’t give to call her every.single.day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think evolutionarily it's best if parents die before the children are 30. If you still need your mommy or daddy at 30 years of age then you have a serious problem. There is far too much gone to even try to maintain a healthy relationship with someone who wiped your butt, saw your worst moments, probably left a few scars on your psyche and now expects you to be the adult in the relationship. OP, start living your life as if your mother is gone and things will drastically improve. If she calls, treat her like an old acquaintance whom you share some memories but don't need validation from. Then when your children are 30 remember any relationship you have with them is on their terms because frankly you did your job and aren't really needed anymore.

You are a horrible horrible person.

[Anonymous]

OP, no offense, but from your posts it seems like you talk a lot. Is your mom an introvert? Are calls with you too much for her?

[Anonymous]

Isn’t the mother being a passive aggressive covert narcissistic? Seriously?...no one thinks this from the read?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All you people whining about how the OP's mother lost a child need to realize that for all the history of mankind mothers have lost children and life still went on. It is only the last few generations where it became the norm for a woman not to have at least one child die. And the longer a mother lives nowadays the higher the chances are she will have one child die before she dies. The death of her son is absolutely no excuse for any behaviour past the one year mark. Either the mother is purposely stuck in her grief and refusing help or she is using it for manipulation. Either way it isn't the OPs fault and she is correct in calling her mother out for this. The OP needs to start living like her mother is dead and get on with her life. Mom certainly isn't needed.

PP, grow a heart. Clearly you have a strong opinion but without empathy it means very little.
Either you are not a mother, or never lost anyone or both. You are talking from experience,
experience of lack of experience in the emotional trauma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I felt this way, and my mom suddenly died. What I wouldn’t give to call her every.single.day.

OP, read this ten times.

[Anonymous]

OP, also did you noticed that you call your Mother = Mother and not a Mom..

[Anonymous]

Op my mom is the same way. She wasn’t a good mom and she isn’t a great grandmother. I’ve had all the talks, I’ve done the same calling system of waiting on her and it didn’t happen. It only made me more upset. My mom has an old school way of thinking...she’s the parent thus she should receive the calls, not make them. I don’t feel like my family is a priority for her and that hurts but I continue to do the majority of reaching out if I want to have my own sanity in place. It’s not enough to cut her off. Just realize that this is how she is and make the calls.


Also, she is clearly still mourning your brother. You will need to give her grace in this area. Until you have lost a child (especially in that way) you don’t know how you’ll respond to it.

[Anonymous]

The OP was from nearly 5 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t the mother being a passive aggressive covert narcissistic? Seriously?...no one thinks this from the read?

How did you end up digging a 5 year old thread?

[Anonymous]

It's tradition in my country for a child that move away to call. And even those in the same town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t the mother being a passive aggressive covert narcissistic? Seriously?...no one thinks this from the read?

No, we think you can't read numbers!