My 15 year old admitted to trying pot

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01/20/2015 17:14

Subject: Re:My 15 year old admitted to trying pot

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the person who wrote about complex meds and speaking with the psychiatrist is absolutely spot on and I suspect it is someone who works with adolescents with substance abuse issues and ADHD, as I do. I cannot emphasize enough how good that advice was. When I treat adolescents who have substance abuse issues it is almost always because they are self-medicating and in my experience, pot is the self-medicator for ADHD that is not being treated medically.

The key to this is finding the right ADHD medication and being insistent that using any other type of drug is not acceptable. Go to a psychiatrist who specializes in adolescent ADHD, sometimes they have wrap around services for executive functioning skills and organization as well.

Ignore everyone who says you are overreacting, you are not.

so would you force him to take adhd meds?

I am the person who wrote about "complex meds" and suggested a psychiatrist AND a therapist. I would NOT "force" him to take meds. To me, that means that a parent literally stands over a child and forces them to take meds. Of course, I am not suggesting that. What I am suggesting is that the parent takes the parent/child struggle aspect out of this decision making process, by calling in other professionals.

As a parent you can not make your DS take meds, but you can say, "You know what, I respect that the other meds made you feel "not right" (or whatever his description is). But, neither you nor I are qualified to make med decisions. I've made appointments with a psychotherapist and a psychiatrist. The therapist is there to help you (and I if necessary) talk about ADHD and how it makes you feel and any strategies you can use that DON"T involve medication. Because I respect your input on medication, I hope that you will respect me when I say that smoking pot is not the way to handle a problem and can be create new problems in people who have ADHD. I respect what you're saying about how the last medication made you feel. I am asking you to respect what I am saying about the fact that medications can be quite helpful. I'm going to insist that you see one of the three therapists on this list and one of the three psychiatrists on this list. What you decide about meds after having worked with them for X number of months is up to you."

Your child is 15. Physically, you are probably no longer in a position to "make" him do much of anything. Yes, you can take away all privileges, etc., and you may get him to do something that way, but that approach will likely create other problems and a power dynamic struggle.

When a child is so close to 18, it is really necessary to move to more of a partnership. Be open to hear what they have to say. Try not to get angry or upset about anything. Call in other experts. Make it clear that you are concerned not because he is "bad" or "headed down the wrong path" but because you want him to have a happy, healthy life.

Perhaps the best reason to LISTEN to what he has to say about meds is that HE may be RIGHT. It does happen that adolescents are given incorrect diagnoses. My own son was quick to be diagnosed with ADD/Inattentive, when what is really at issue is learning disorders. The right school and the right instruction means that he really doesn't need meds, at least not right now. I also know, based on family experience, that adolescent ADHD is sometimes diagnosed where bipolar depression ultimately becomes the more accurate diagnosis, but it is not clear until the child has gotten older or been on ADHD meds for awhile. ADHD meds, many of which are stimulant drugs, can often drive a sense of anxiety or mania in people who are bipolar or really have anxiety issues instead of or in addition to ADHD. You need to listen to your child, get him/her hooked up with a therapist and psychiatrist that can listen, respond and try a variety of different strategies and medications (CBT, patient education, mood stabilizer, other non-stimulant ADHD meds, executive function/academic support, etc.)