husband becoming gun fanatic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Please inform the parents of your children's friends about guns in your house. I would not allow my child to be in your home and would appreciate knowing in advance. Thanks.

+1


+2

+100.

If I were in your position, OP, I'd spend some time learning why the sudden interest in guns. If it is some kind of hobby, then I'd say, great, have a great time at the target range. That said, he will have to rent a storage unit and store them there because for me it is absolutely unacceptable to have a gun in the house with a child. It's unnecessary and a danger very easily avoided. It's a firm line in the sand and he would just have to deal. Sometimes, one partner's bottom line decides the issue. Let's say I want another child and I run into his bottom line that he doesn't want any more children. Well, I respect his bottom line or I leave.

You are not required to give into something that makes you feel unsafe for someone else's hobby.

Of course, it is quite possible after hearing about his interest guns, you may feel fine with a gun safe or whatever other safety precautions. You should make sure that everyone in your family has very good safety training and inform parents that you have guns in the house so that those of us who feel strongly about gun control don't accidentally accept a playdate at your house. It's the least you can do.

When you start warning parents about your pot and swimming pool, I ll put guns on my disclosure statement.

[Anonymous]

I don't think that analogy is a good one. Pot is not potentially deadly to children, and while swimming pools are a safety hazard if not monitored, gated, etc, presumably the swimming pool is not hidden away in a safe.

That being said, although I personally would not keep a gun in my home (I come firmly down on the side of guns being unnecessary - no study has demonstrated their effectiveness as "protection", and gun control laws in this country are sorely lacking), this is from the AAP's 2012 policy statement on gun control:

"Safe gun storage (guns unloaded and locked, ammunition locked separately) reduces unintentional injury and suicide risk for children and adolescents. In addition, a number of design options have been proposed to decrease the likelihood of unintentional injury by a firearm, as well as limiting access by unauthorized users.

The AAP urges that guns be subject to consumer product regulations regarding child access, safety, and design. These include trigger locks, lock boxes, personalized safety mechanisms, and trigger pressures that are too high for young children."

My fear would be that many gun owners are not as strict with their guns as recommended above. So I would also be uncomfortable with my children playing in a home with guns unless I knew they were safely stowed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This hits close to home (not pun intended). My husband took up shooting as a hobby and I told him I didn't want a gun around our kids and to not buy one. He got one anyway. I don't even bring it up because it is a sore subject. He doesn't say he's going to go shoot at the shooting range. He just goes somewhere else he tells me about and then probably goes shooting after. I don't like it one bit. He keeps it in the car. My dad had a rifle that he kept out in the open and occasionally hunted which I was fine with, but my husband is secretive about it. What does he have to hide?

I hope your kids are never in that car. Or have access to the keys to that car. Grow a spine.

I hope he has a concealed carry permit. He's hiding it bc you don't approve and can't even bring up the subject. You should never drive that car don't let anyone else borrow it.

Yes, he has a permit. Rarely I drive it if I'm having car trouble, but we do all ride in it maybe once a week (with him driving). What could happen?

[Anonymous]

When you transport a gun the bullets and the firearm are kept separate. No issue if it is not loaded.

There are biometric safes that only open with Mom & Dad's fingerprint. No big deal.

Teach boundaries to your children for the environment that they are in. If you camp outside, don't touch the fire and eat the poisonous berries. If you own a gun, be responsible in safekeeping and practices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Please inform the parents of your children's friends about guns in your house. I would not allow my child to be in your home and would appreciate knowing in advance. Thanks.

+1


+2

+100.

If I were in your position, OP, I'd spend some time learning why the sudden interest in guns. If it is some kind of hobby, then I'd say, great, have a great time at the target range. That said, he will have to rent a storage unit and store them there because for me it is absolutely unacceptable to have a gun in the house with a child. It's unnecessary and a danger very easily avoided. It's a firm line in the sand and he would just have to deal. Sometimes, one partner's bottom line decides the issue. Let's say I want another child and I run into his bottom line that he doesn't want any more children. Well, I respect his bottom line or I leave.

You are not required to give into something that makes you feel unsafe for someone else's hobby.

Of course, it is quite possible after hearing about his interest guns, you may feel fine with a gun safe or whatever other safety precautions. You should make sure that everyone in your family has very good safety training and inform parents that you have guns in the house so that those of us who feel strongly about gun control don't accidentally accept a playdate at your house. It's the least you can do.

When you start warning parents about your pot and swimming pool, I ll put guns on my disclosure statement.

A pool is readily apparent.

Pot is illegal. I wouldn't want my child in a druggy house either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This hits close to home (not pun intended). My husband took up shooting as a hobby and I told him I didn't want a gun around our kids and to not buy one. He got one anyway. I don't even bring it up because it is a sore subject. He doesn't say he's going to go shoot at the shooting range. He just goes somewhere else he tells me about and then probably goes shooting after. I don't like it one bit. He keeps it in the car. My dad had a rifle that he kept out in the open and occasionally hunted which I was fine with, but my husband is secretive about it. What does he have to hide?

21:28 yet again. Hon, it is very simple, he is hiding from YOU. Your disapproval, the tension that you bringing it up introduces in your marriage. He may even be trying to respect your wishes by keeping it in the car, in a weird sort of way. For your kids' sakes I hope he has it unloaded and in a safe with the ammo elsewhere. Honestly I could not sleep at night not knowing how he stores it or where it is in relation to my kids, which is why I take the tack I do with my DH. I do not want it to become The Secret He Keeps From Me and your story is exactly why.

He took a class so I'm pretty sure it's concealed in a safe in the trunk. I think he is safe about it. But, my son of course is interested in stuff like playing like he's a soldier. At what point or never do we tell our son about it's existence? I don't want him getting curious for no good reason, but at the same time, it's a hazard that I don't want my son accidentally finding when he's older. And what if the car is stolen? His owning it is like a can of worms which is why I never wanted him to get one in the first place. But he does what he wants to do and me telling him not to obviously had no effect on him. I don't see talking about it with him unless it's with a counselor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dh wanted to get some gun and keep them in the house. I explained to him that I know how to shoot a gun and that I am very accurate. Then I explained that sometimes I have vivid dreams about him cheating. I am afraid that after one of those, I might try to shoot him.

I was only half kidding. He has seen me wake up angry at him for his behavior in my dream/nightmare. He decided not to get any guns...

This is genius. Why didn't I think of this?

[Anonymous]

I have no problem with DH having a gun...as long as he stores it in his new apartment where the kids will never visit him.

[Anonymous]

All the people I know who are gun fanatics are pathetic in at least one other area of their life - bad husbands, can't keep down a good job, etc. One locked gun for shooting practice stored safely away doesn't concern me as much (though I would never allow it in my home), but people with multiple guns generally have some kind of mental problem or significant insecurities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy him a gun safe and a separate ammo safe. Even if he wants a gun for self defense, I keep the gun in a locked gun box in my bedroom and the loaded clip in a locked gun box in my bedroom. Hunting rifles are in the gun safe and all other ammo is in a second safe.

Those who really know guns know that you don't call the magazine for your handgun a "clip." But you're doing the right thing storing it all that way IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the shootings and gun accidents are just accidents, and not pertinent.

There is no such thing as an "accidental" discharge -- they are negligent discharges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm a Male. x-military SF with real combat experience, not admin or truck duty etc.

I own just the basic for self defense that is not accessible to children. People that are gun fanatics make me sick. They usually fall into two categories. Someone that is perverted and a real risk to society, luckily that makes the vast minority of folks. Most are men with fantasies of fulfilling their inner macho selves that have never lived it in reality. Covering up their fantasies with "it's just a hobby". Either way it makes me sick how cavalier this country is with people that have no business owning such an arsenal.

Lady, stick to your "guns" and lay the law down with your obsessed hubby.

OP, please listen to this man.

"He" is totally making shit up. Probably including the "I'm a Male" part. Seriously -- who the hell says "I'm a Male" not "I'm a man"?

That's ridiculous. So what if he refers to himself as male. My dad would probably refer to himself as a male.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This hits close to home (not pun intended). My husband took up shooting as a hobby and I told him I didn't want a gun around our kids and to not buy one. He got one anyway. I don't even bring it up because it is a sore subject. He doesn't say he's going to go shoot at the shooting range. He just goes somewhere else he tells me about and then probably goes shooting after. I don't like it one bit. He keeps it in the car. My dad had a rifle that he kept out in the open and occasionally hunted which I was fine with, but my husband is secretive about it. What does he have to hide?

Husband is an idiot to keep the gun in the car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please inform the parents of your children's friends about guns in your house. I would not allow my child to be in your home and would appreciate knowing in advance. Thanks.

DO NOT DO THIS.

Do not tell ANYONE -- not even the pediatrician, who has absolutely no need to know -- about it. It is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS.

Paranoid much?

I'm not the PP, and I'm not a gun person, and I would never want guns in my house. But, over the years, I have noticed that pediatricians ask increasingly intrusive personal questions in the name of "medicine"either to me or directly to my child -- who do you live with? is there anyone else in your home? how many servings of vegetables do you eat in a day? do you ever feel sad? have you had sex yet? are you single or married? are there guns in the house? how many minutes a day do you read? None of these questions are ever linked to the reason for which my child is directly presenting at the doctor's office.

I personally find it really intrusive. While I very much understand the epidemiology behind gun violence, I really don't think this is the best way to "educate" parents about the dangers of guns in the home.

I would rather hear from my pediatrician -- "Did you know that (insert firearm injury stat here)? We are asking all our patients to consider these X things related to gun safety among family, friends and neighbors. Keep your guns locked in a safe. Take a firearm safety course. Consider not having guns in households where kids are under X age, or whatever...."

If you present to me, the patient, a suggested evidence-based plan, I will be more likely to follow it. But, I find it really offensive and intrusive to be asked all these questions about perfectly legal activities. It really doesn't build a relationship of trust with the physician, which is one person I don't need judgey-ness from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm a Male. x-military SF with real combat experience, not admin or truck duty etc.

I own just the basic for self defense that is not accessible to children. People that are gun fanatics make me sick. They usually fall into two categories. Someone that is perverted and a real risk to society, luckily that makes the vast minority of folks. Most are men with fantasies of fulfilling their inner macho selves that have never lived it in reality. Covering up their fantasies with "it's just a hobby". Either way it makes me sick how cavalier this country is with people that have no business owning such an arsenal.

[...]

I've shot since I was about 8 yrs. old, own 2 handguns (locked up, no kids in house) and have a CCW, favor stronger regulation (require real competence testing before anyone gets a CCW, etc.), yet I agree with you about the fanatics.

I worked with (managing) federal LEOs for over 20 years, including training with them at the range a few times (I didn't carry a badge or gun). My LEO friends refer to the latter category above (the swaggering macho imagineers) as "barrel suckers" -- and it's not a term of admiration.