Dealing with SIL's pregnancy when dealing with infertility

[Anonymous]

My heart hurts for you. I know you want to have a baby and it hurts when others do and you don't. But honestly, I also feel like you're robbing them of their right to be happy about the pregnancy. They were very sensitive to your needs, and you including the card and the note is rubbing in their face that they shouldn't be happy about their pregnancy.

This is cold, but the world sucks. People get engaged and don't care you're single, people get pregnant and don't care you cannot get pregnant, people win the lottery and aren't affected by others who aren't eating. It is just the way life works. While I completely understand and empathize with your pain, I feel you walking around like a hurt bird over not being pregnant and reacting the way you do to others pregnancies is off putting. I don't know you, it's just reading this me cringe. And I'm sorry if this is cold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's lovely to communicate, but it doesn't always work. Clearly, you have never been in a truly difficult situation. My best friend's child died of hydrocephaly. How the fuck am I supposed to communicate anout something this awful? STFU if you don't know what you're talking about.

I'm a CPS worker, so um actually, it's YOU who has no idea of the kind of difficult conversations I've had to have both in my personal life and at work. And the cursing is totally immature and unwarranted.

Also, I never said "communication fixes everything". What I did say is "Not communicating is worse in most cases". I'm sorry your friend lost a baby, and I do have thoughts about how one can be supportive of someone who's experienced such a loss, but that's a different thread, and you clearly are too upset to read clearly anyway so I'll just say chill out on the judgement: it's possible to have vast experience with difficult conversations (and actual trauma!) and still understand the immense importance of appropriate communication.