women who attended elite schools...

[Anonymous]

It's not something we even think to discuss in Denmark. By definition, we have no elite universities and the educational system is much broader and open in Denmark than in the US. The name of a person's chilhood pet is usually more interesting than talking about their education, since what you do already defines your education in many cases. We do talk a lot about our experiences in folkeskol (primary school) and gymnasium (high school), since that is where we met most of our life-long friends.

[Anonymous]

I do the same thing -- I tell people I went to school in Cincinnati. It's a test. Depending on the school they mention first, I know whether or not they are my people and whether or not I can express my strong feelings about Bob Huggins and the Pope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old are you and how old are your dates? I'm 40 and I could give two shits where someone went to school. I also never run across people who bring that up although I know many people who have attended these schools. Over the years these things eventually come up but not inmediately upon meeting someone. I don't think it is that important for mature types with established careers and full lives. Are you dating recent grads?

Late 20s. Dates are between mid twenties to early thirties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not something we even think to discuss in Denmark. By definition, we have no elite universities and the educational system is much broader and open in Denmark than in the US. The name of a person's chilhood pet is usually more interesting than talking about their education, since what you do already defines your education in many cases. We do talk a lot about our experiences in folkeskol (primary school) and gymnasium (high school), since that is where we met most of our life-long friends.

Danish women need not discuss anything when they are lithe Amazonian natural blondes with sapphire eyes and have asses that you can bounce a quarter off of.

[Anonymous]

It depends on who I'm speaking with. I think people would be surprised by how strong the 'oh, well excuuuse me!' reactions can be when all you do is answer a question they asked. It can definitely move the conversation from flirty and playful to almost competitive.

[Anonymous]

I think if it as a humble brag. They are telling you they went to an ivy without having to say it.

I can't imagine a situation where I went to school in NJ is a better answer to a question than I went to school at Princeton.

[Anonymous]

I graduated summa cum laude from Princeton and have a phd from one of the top 3 in my discipline. This is not information I feel the need to broadcast, but by the same token I don't try to be evasive, because the people who care about this stuff will make it their business to find out, because they are obsessed about some sort of rank. This occasionally happened to me when i was younger, and sometimes on dates the guy could not let go of it, pretending to be impressed, but bringing it up constantly in a way that demonstrated his insecurity or intolerance. However, the majority of people don't really care about where you went to school and now that I'm older, I find that people judge success by many other measures (by which I would not be seen as hugely successful, in point of fact). fwiw, Dh has a bachelors and it's never bothered him--he is far more well read in a broad way than I am.

[Anonymous]

It really depends on context. If you ask me "So, where did you go to school?" I'll answer with the name of the school. If i'm telling a story that involves the area but not the school, I will say "When I was in college in (city),..." Because I do find it braggy to college name drop for no reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to MIT and agree with the Oxford grad.

+1

People get a chip on their shoulder, when they realize you are smarter than them.

Certain schools like to ANNOUNCE where they went to school, given the chance. Better schools do not. Unless you are one of them, there is no explaining the situation, as we live it. While it is not a bad problem to have, it is handled in a certain manner, depending on the school. Some alum don't have to toot their own horn. I will leave it at that.

Omg you sound insufferable. We really do not care that you went to Yale, muffy.

See what I mean?

No, I do not. If you think you are some part of an exclusive club in DC because you went to Yale, you are delusional. And insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to MIT and agree with the Oxford grad.

+1

People get a chip on their shoulder, when they realize you are smarter than them.

Certain schools like to ANNOUNCE where they went to school, given the chance. Better schools do not. Unless you are one of them, there is no explaining the situation, as we live it. While it is not a bad problem to have, it is handled in a certain manner, depending on the school. Some alum don't have to toot their own horn. I will leave it at that.

+1

There are certain grads who only hang out with each other, it's easier that way.

They sound like they are a bunch of candy asses, always taking the path of least resistance.

[Anonymous]

Being cagey about it makes you look insufferable and pretentious; as though others could not possibly handle the fact that you went to an ivy. And it makes you look like that fact is much more impressive and representative of your intelligence than it really is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being cagey about it makes you look insufferable and pretentious; as though others could not possibly handle the fact that you went to an ivy. And it makes you look like that fact is much more impressive and representative of your intelligence than it really is.

+10000. It is extremely pretentious and I find it almost offensive. Just say the name of your college when it is relevant and appropriate as part of a conversation. When asked where you went to school say the name. Don't turn a simple question into a guessing game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I graduated summa cum laude from Princeton and have a phd from one of the top 3 in my discipline. This is not information I feel the need to broadcast, but by the same token I don't try to be evasive, because the people who care about this stuff will make it their business to find out, because they are obsessed about some sort of rank. This occasionally happened to me when i was younger, and sometimes on dates the guy could not let go of it, pretending to be impressed, but bringing it up constantly in a way that demonstrated his insecurity or intolerance. However, the majority of people don't really care about where you went to school and now that I'm older, I find that people judge success by many other measures (by which I would not be seen as hugely successful, in point of fact). fwiw, Dh has a bachelors and it's never bothered him--he is far more well read in a broad way than I am.

OP here - I do have a grad degree from a pretty highly ranked private school but I'm more like your DH. We're 'foxes' but tend to date 'hedgehogs' I guess.

Fox/hedgehog comes from the famous Isiah berlin essay on the types of thinkers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It really depends on context. If you ask me "So, where did you go to school?" I'll answer with the name of the school. If i'm telling a story that involves the area but not the school, I will say "When I was in college in (city),..." Because I do find it braggy to college name drop for no reason.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to MIT and agree with the Oxford grad.

+1

People get a chip on their shoulder, when they realize you are smarter than them.

Certain schools like to ANNOUNCE where they went to school, given the chance. Better schools do not. Unless you are one of them, there is no explaining the situation, as we live it. While it is not a bad problem to have, it is handled in a certain manner, depending on the school. Some alum don't have to toot their own horn. I will leave it at that.

Omg you sound insufferable. We really do not care that you went to Yale, muffy.

See what I mean?

No, I do not. If you think you are some part of an exclusive club in DC because you went to Yale, you are delusional. And insufferable.

You're the one that seems to be making a big deal of it and it's this kind of reaction that prompts people to say "in Connecticut" I went to Yale. I know exactly what kind of non-big-deal it is. But you have a chip on your shoulder that I'd just rather not deal with, and there are a lot of people like you out there.