How do you feel about muffins with mom, donuts with dad type events in a school setting for kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the primary reason for donuts with Dads is to make Dads more comfortable in the school? The Dads are grown ups, and should be able to deal with discomfort of being the only Dad at an event. The kids without Dads seem to be the more sensitive population here.

That is my thinking also.

[Anonymous]

We recently had grandparents day at our ELEMENTARY school. A supreme helicopter mom posted on our listserve asking if SHE could attend in leu of her son's grandparents, since they were not local.

I couldn't believe it... I feel so sorry for that overprotected kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad died when I was 6 and these type of events always broke my heart - even if I did take my grandfather, uncle, or mom.

Eh, my dad died when I was 11 and these kind of events never "broke my heart". I never thought much of them really. There lots of events and parties in life I am not going to get invited to, this is just one of them.

[Anonymous]

HORRIBLE IDEA, EMOTIONALLY DEVASTATING FOR SOME CHILDREN. THERE IS NO REASON TO TRAUMATIZE ANY CHILD! I REMOVED MY CHILD FROM A SCHOOL THAT HELD GRANDPARENT
DAY AND IT IS THE SAME THING. CHILDREN CRYING IN THE BATHROOMS TRYING TO REMAIN COMPOSED SO AS NOT TO RUIN THE FUN THE OTHERS WERE HAVING. IT WAS HORRIFIC!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HORRIBLE IDEA, EMOTIONALLY DEVASTATING FOR SOME CHILDREN. THERE IS NO REASON TO TRAUMATIZE ANY CHILD! I REMOVED MY CHILD FROM A SCHOOL THAT HELD GRANDPARENT
DAY AND IT IS THE SAME THING. CHILDREN CRYING IN THE BATHROOMS TRYING TO REMAIN COMPOSED SO AS NOT TO RUIN THE FUN THE OTHERS WERE HAVING. IT WAS HORRIFIC!

Okey dokey...

[Anonymous]

DD's preschool has Father's Night and Mother's Night - the invitation distinctly says all mother and father figures. Last year, both DH and older DS went on Father's Night. There have been grandparents and uncles and aunts, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single mom by adoption here, so yes, it's uncomfortable, especially given that DC's father figures recently died within a few weeks of each other, but I'm not one of those people who demands that everything be geared toward us and that everyone be oh-so-sensitive to our situation. No need to accommodate. No need to tiptoe around us. Life can be tough. You just have to deal with it and move forward.

Thank you. You are a breath of fresh air

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HORRIBLE IDEA, EMOTIONALLY DEVASTATING FOR SOME CHILDREN. THERE IS NO REASON TO TRAUMATIZE ANY CHILD! I REMOVED MY CHILD FROM A SCHOOL THAT HELD GRANDPARENT
DAY AND IT IS THE SAME THING. CHILDREN CRYING IN THE BATHROOMS TRYING TO REMAIN COMPOSED SO AS NOT TO RUIN THE FUN THE OTHERS WERE HAVING. IT WAS HORRIFIC!

Okey dokey...

I have a feeling this pp's child is traumatized for other reasons

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks these are just terrible? My child has two loving parents and we would absolutely go to these types of events to be there .. but I feel awful for the kids who do not have two parents who can attend. What if dad is in the military and deployed (We live in a very military heavy area, so this is a very real issue at our school)? What if mom works and can't attend? Or God forbid one of the parents have passed away, or lives far away because of a divorce?

These things just really, really, really rub me the wrong way.. especially with little kids. Why can't it be muffins with special friends or something like that?

b/c those of us who work don't provide a loving environment for our kids and therefore, purposely ignore these events b/c we're selfish

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad died when I was 6 and these type of events always broke my heart - even if I did take my grandfather, uncle, or mom.

Eh, my dad died when I was 11 and these kind of events never "broke my heart". I never thought much of them really. There lots of events and parties in life I am not going to get invited to, this is just one of them.

I would imagine that the experience of a 6 year old whose father has died is very different than that of an 11 year old. But I'm glad you were so well adjusted to the death of your father.

[Anonymous]

Just call it gluten-free granola with family. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

HORRIBLE IDEA, EMOTIONALLY DEVASTATING FOR SOME CHILDREN. THERE IS NO REASON TO TRAUMATIZE ANY CHILD! I REMOVED MY CHILD FROM A SCHOOL THAT HELD GRANDPARENT
DAY AND IT IS THE SAME THING. CHILDREN CRYING IN THE BATHROOMS TRYING TO REMAIN COMPOSED SO AS NOT TO RUIN THE FUN THE OTHERS WERE HAVING. IT WAS HORRIFIC!

troll ----I hope!

[Anonymous]

Everytime I see pics of these I immediately think about friends' kids who've lost or do not have a mom or dad. None of them are even that close to me but that's where my mind goes. Would be nice if they could be "family" events.

[Anonymous]

I grew up 50 years ago in a small town where every mom was a SAHM . . . except mine. Every school event like the Christmas pageant, end of year picnic, etc. was held DURING THE DAY. My mom could never come (because she was employed as a teacher in another school and it just was not done back then). I did feel a bit hollow knowing every other kid had a mom there. But one year when I was 10, my grandmother came from far away to visit. She came to watch my maypole dance and I will never forget that. She gave me a quarter that day too!

I came to understand why my mother could not be there and I love my mother a ton (even though she's gone now). I am so glad that people are at least sensitive to this issue, but I think the kids are more resilient than you can imagine. There are lots of hurts in growing up and we cannot shelter our kids from all of them. I am not a traumatized adult. I know that I was loved. That's all I need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad died when I was 6 and these type of events always broke my heart - even if I did take my grandfather, uncle, or mom.

Eh, my dad died when I was 11 and these kind of events never "broke my heart". I never thought much of them really. There lots of events and parties in life I am not going to get invited to, this is just one of them.

I would imagine that the experience of a 6 year old whose father has died is very different than that of an 11 year old. But I'm glad you were so well adjusted to the death of your father.

I also had a father die young, honestly it's such a devastating time in your life that everything hurts. When you have a parent die, pain and longing for the absent parent is a part of your life, you can't shield a child from every hurt.

My father's favorite dessert was apple pie a'la mode, and we would eat it together often. When I see it on a menu now I still get melancholy. Does that mean that restaurants should remove it? No.

I feel sympathy for kids who do not have their fathers but think people are going WAAAY overboard.

If you have two moms or two dads you are going to have to face some adversity, just like I did without a dad. Kids can't be shielded from every thing.