How do you feel about muffins with mom, donuts with dad type events in a school setting for kids?

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one who thinks these are just terrible? My child has two loving parents and we would absolutely go to these types of events to be there .. but I feel awful for the kids who do not have two parents who can attend. What if dad is in the military and deployed (We live in a very military heavy area, so this is a very real issue at our school)? What if mom works and can't attend? Or God forbid one of the parents have passed away, or lives far away because of a divorce?

These things just really, really, really rub me the wrong way.. especially with little kids. Why can't it be muffins with special friends or something like that?

[Anonymous]

I think it is nice. You both either go to your gender or one of each.

[Anonymous]

I think I know you or at least your kid. Anyway, we don't love the phrasing for the same reason. It excludes single parents, queer families, children being raised by a range of guardians, etc. But, I like the sentiment and think the school admin might just not be clued-in.

[Anonymous]

We did video chat with DH when he was unable to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks these are just terrible? My child has two loving parents and we would absolutely go to these types of events to be there .. but I feel awful for the kids who do not have two parents who can attend. What if dad is in the military and deployed (We live in a very military heavy area, so this is a very real issue at our school)? What if mom works and can't attend? Or God forbid one of the parents have passed away, or lives far away because of a divorce?

These things just really, really, really rub me the wrong way.. especially with little kids. Why can't it be muffins with special friends or something like that?

Because that's not alliterative.

But I agree with your sentiment. My school has "pastries with parents", which is more inclusive, though it still doesn't include everybody. "Cookies with caregivers"?

[Anonymous]

Single mom by adoption here, so yes, it's uncomfortable, especially given that DC's father figures recently died within a few weeks of each other, but I'm not one of those people who demands that everything be geared toward us and that everyone be oh-so-sensitive to our situation. No need to accommodate. No need to tiptoe around us. Life can be tough. You just have to deal with it and move forward.

[Anonymous]

I grew up with a single mom and no dad in the picture. I definitely remember feeling a bit left out when things like father-daughter dances rolled around. But it's not like I still feel any sort of lasting traumatic effect as an adult from not going to the dance when I was in elementary school. So it'd be nice if they reconsidered these events, but I don't think anyone needs to be up in arms about it.

[Anonymous]

Goulash with guardians? one could have some fun with this!

[Anonymous]

I agree that I don't love these types of events either.

Our preschool does a 'Family Day'. You can bring anyone - parents/grandparents/aunts. They should make it 'Friends and Family Day to include friends!

[Anonymous]

I don't care because I have a job so I can't go anyway. I highly recommend that people who think too much about x,y,z get themselves one of these job thingies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care because I have a job so I can't go anyway. I highly recommend that people who think too much about x,y,z get themselves one of these job thingies.

I like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks these are just terrible? My child has two loving parents and we would absolutely go to these types of events to be there .. but I feel awful for the kids who do not have two parents who can attend. What if dad is in the military and deployed (We live in a very military heavy area, so this is a very real issue at our school)? What if mom works and can't attend? Or God forbid one of the parents have passed away, or lives far away because of a divorce?

These things just really, really, really rub me the wrong way.. especially with little kids. Why can't it be muffins with special friends or something like that?

I live in a base town. The invitation always says that you can bring anyone you like. If Dad isn't available, Mom or Grandpa or Uncle Steve can come.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, not every event will work for every kid. We cant do away with Fathers Day and Mother's Day bc some people dont have one, any more than we should do away with Christmas or Easter bc some people dont celebrate (and I am one who doesnt celebrate).

Children, even young ones, have to learn to deal with their lot in life and where the other parent or caregiver or teacher can help the child feel more comfortable, they should but we cant deprive others of opportunities just to protect the ones who might feel left out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't care because I have a job so I can't go anyway. I highly recommend that people who think too much about x,y,z get themselves one of these job thingies.

I like you.

Exactly - plus I end up taking care of kids who don't have a parent come - 9 times out of 10 it's because they are at work!!

[Anonymous]

My dad died when I was 6 and these type of events always broke my heart - even if I did take my grandfather, uncle, or mom.