Senior Associates/Partners at Law Firm Question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever notice how few children of successful attorneys at BigLaw firms choose to do something other than law? Wonder why?

Is that based on actual stats or your perception? Lots of people I know are lawyers because their fathers were lawyers. Of course usually not their mothers because there weren't that many women partners 30+ years ago.

Law has changed a lot since 30 years ago ... the pressure to be always available, the need to have clients come before all else are now common.

[Anonymous]

It is very difficult, but I work for a very prestigious firm.

[Anonymous]

I work 80% for a large law firm. The best and worst thing about it is the crazy hours. 12+ hour days somedays and even some weekends but 5 hour days others. I love it on the 5 hour days, hate it on the 12 hour days. Detest it if I have to work a full weekend day (1/2 weekend day not so bad). Have a husband with very flexible job and we have a FT nanny. Otherwise couldn't do it. I would really really really like to work less than 80% but it just doesnt' seem to be a real option. Trying to fulfill the billables is stressful. Have yet to leave it because of amazing flexibility (firm doesn't care if I work at 3 am as long as I'm working) and pay. I actually see my kids a lot but I hardly sleep and they never know when I'm staying or going ....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is very difficult, but I work for a very prestigious firm.

The prestige of your firm makes it ok to not see your kids? That is crazy. This is why I left.

[Anonymous]

My husband is a senior associate. My son (3.5) has now stopped asking if Daddy is coming home for dinner, and now asks me "Will Daddy be home at bedtime?" -- his bedtime is 9pm btw. I hate this for my kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm right there with 20:16 (just finished working for the evening), except that my husband is a partner at another big firm and has very little flexibility. I totally agree that my kids never know if I'm coming or going, and I often think my working part-time is worse for them than if I had a consistent 5 day schedule in the office. I think it was all very doable when I only had 1 little one, but now that I have 2 kids and 2 schools, it's become almost unbearable. Some weeks are better than others and as others have pointed out, the key (assuming you are PT) is to walk out the door at 2 on those days where you really don't have anything pressing. I agree with PP who said they found this thread comforting. It's nice to know we are not alone. But for those of us with the luxury of choice, is it worth it? I'm beginning to think it's not.

[Anonymous]

No one has mentioned boutiques. I work for a really small boutique and it has been great for finding a balance. I work 8:30-5:30, take a lunch most days (sometimes going to the gym or getting my hair cut), rarely work evenings or weekends, and am able to get to school events. DH also has flexiblity, so we try to alternate days home when DS is sick or school is closed so I don't take too much personal time. The drawback is pay - I probably only bill 1500 hours a year, and make less than 200K after 10 years of practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one has mentioned boutiques. I work for a really small boutique and it has been great for finding a balance. I work 8:30-5:30, take a lunch most days (sometimes going to the gym or getting my hair cut), rarely work evenings or weekends, and am able to get to school events. DH also has flexiblity, so we try to alternate days home when DS is sick or school is closed so I don't take too much personal time. The drawback is pay - I probably only bill 1500 hours a year, and make less than 200K after 10 years of practice.

I could have written this post. I am 9 years out at a boutique (have been here 4.5 years, after 4.5 years at BigLaw), and have an 8 m/o. I feel lucky to be able to continue to do really interesting and stimulating transactional work, at great hours (8:30-5 or 5:30 most days), and very rarely work weekends. Occasionally work evenings after DD goes to sleep, but only when I have a deal ramping up or closing, not regularly. Pay is good, too -- I'm at $210K before bonus, 9 years out, and am also billing about 1500/year. There are good work/life balance arrangements out there, they just take a good deal of looking to find.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm right there with 20:16 (just finished working for the evening), except that my husband is a partner at another big firm and has very little flexibility. I totally agree that my kids never know if I'm coming or going, and I often think my working part-time is worse for them than if I had a consistent 5 day schedule in the office. I think it was all very doable when I only had 1 little one, but now that I have 2 kids and 2 schools, it's become almost unbearable. Some weeks are better than others and as others have pointed out, the key (assuming you are PT) is to walk out the door at 2 on those days where you really don't have anything pressing. I agree with PP who said they found this thread comforting. It's nice to know we are not alone. But for those of us with the luxury of choice, is it worth it? I'm beginning to think it's not.

I think you should ask yourself why you're doing this. I'm guessing you really don't need the money if your husband is a partner. You sound miserable--don't be afraid to make a change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever notice how few children of successful attorneys at BigLaw firms choose to do something other than law? Wonder why?

Is that based on actual stats or your perception? Lots of people I know are lawyers because their fathers were lawyers. Of course usually not their mothers because there weren't that many women partners 30+ years ago.

Law has changed a lot since 30 years ago ... the pressure to be always available, the need to have clients come before all else are now common.

Right, but that generation of children isn't necessarily old enough to be making career choices yet.