Parents of precocious readers: Why do I feel like I have to pretend my kid can't read?

[Anonymous]

I was a very early reader - my parents swear I was reading before age 3. they're probably not lying - I have loved reading for as long as I can remember.

My kid is almost 6 and is not a terribly proficient reader. We've been working with her, but she's just kind of lazy about it. I think it's because she likes having us read to her and worries that would end when she starts really reading by herself.

You don't have to hide your kid's reading ability. It's a good thing. I'm a little jealous, but I'm not resentful.

[Anonymous]

Be proud! don't worry about anyone else! People have a hard time being happy for others!
Congrats to your little one, I think it's amazing!

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you've got a great attitude.

[Anonymous]

This was not my experience with my early reader. People were always encouraging and impressed.

[Anonymous]

Your child could be a genius. I have been a nanny to two boys that each have a genius level iq.

The difficulty I have noticed is jealousy from other parents. We didn't tell anyone but people could tell. Also boredom in school has been an issue as most kindergartners are reading simple stories and the boys I took care of could read anything I handed them.

[Anonymous]

We had an early reader and we never commented on it -- but we did get snide comments occasionally from others who had no reason to be snide (in CC MD). She taught herself. We read to her, but not constantly (in fact, I had a serious jaw problem and so we would listen to audio books/Itunes and I would turn the pages of the print copies because I could not read aloud to her).

A side note: our early reader hates to read (although her testing continues to be off the charts for her age in terms of comprehension [3rd grade]) and we are discovering that she has slow processing and it appears she also has ADHD. I have watched her reading and am seeing that she is gravitating towards graphic novels or those that have very little plot/easy to follow, and in talking with her I'm fairly certain that this is connected to her challenges with focusing.

My point is that just because someone is an early or even gifted reader doesn't mean that s/he will emerge automatically as one who will love reading ..... I'm saying this in part because I think it's very easy for teachers and sometimes even parents to look at one side of an equation ("oh, she's such a gifted reader that we don't need to discuss or focus on her language skills) and not pick up on other aspects that might provide clues about challenges or opportunities ahead .....

[Anonymous]

This too shall pass. After the early years, they are just readers, and people stop comparing which leveled readers kids are choosing. Then it becomes all about writing.

[Anonymous]

You don't have to pretend anything. Stop humblebragging, emphasis on the bragging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had an early reader and we never commented on it -- but we did get snide comments occasionally from others who had no reason to be snide (in CC MD). She taught herself. We read to her, but not constantly (in fact, I had a serious jaw problem and so we would listen to audio books/Itunes and I would turn the pages of the print copies because I could not read aloud to her).

A side note: our early reader hates to read (although her testing continues to be off the charts for her age in terms of comprehension [3rd grade]) and we are discovering that she has slow processing and it appears she also has ADHD. I have watched her reading and am seeing that she is gravitating towards graphic novels or those that have very little plot/easy to follow, and in talking with her I'm fairly certain that this is connected to her challenges with focusing.

My point is that just because someone is an early or even gifted reader doesn't mean that s/he will emerge automatically as one who will love reading ..... I'm saying this in part because I think it's very easy for teachers and sometimes even parents to look at one side of an equation ("oh, she's such a gifted reader that we don't need to discuss or focus on her language skills) and not pick up on other aspects that might provide clues about challenges or opportunities ahead .....

+1. Is it something about CC MD? We also live there and have precocious reader who is now much older but still loves to read and talk about books far above her age level. Mostly people notice but don't say anything. Sometimes people notice and engage politely, treating DC like an adult reader and sharing info about good books, asking questions about what she likes to read, etc. But I definitely overhear snarky comments, which make me sad for her. Since about 2nd grade she has known that she reads and is interested in things at a level that most of her peers are not, and she began to hide this aspect of herself. I think it makes her depressed when grown-ups treat her the same way -- like she will never escape the circle of people who discourage thought.

Oddly, when we lived in DC in a less affluent neighborhood, socially, no one cared. Strangers would often say something neutral and encouraging like "nice to see kids reading!" Academically, teachers in DCPS were still a problem.

I really agree that if you have a gifted reader, people often think they don't need any instruction. But, they do; they just need it at a higher level.

[Anonymous]

I agree that this account does not seem plausible. In my experience, people are all about praising kids and parents for hitting milestones early, whether it's walking, talking, reading, whatever.

If this is really happening to you, I suspect you are surrounded by particularly insecure and bitchy people for some reason. Where do you live?

[Anonymous]

When my kid first started to read he would tell people occasionally because he was pretty proud of it. Initially I'd hear that kind of dismissive reply - "oh he's just memorizing" etc.

Now it comes up more organically - like he reads the menu while we're out or a sign at the playground or something on someone's shirt and people will be shocked and always complimentary. I wish they'd stop telling him he's smart or a genius though -- we try to praise for effort instead, though it does seem to be effortless.

Now that he's 4.5 and reading advance chapter books I'm no longer in awe but the fact they he reads in public (takes books to a restaurant, for example, or reads in the grocery cart while we shop) he still gets a lot of praise and attention from strangers. I don't think he likes the attention too much.

But the only REALLY negative stuff I've seen about early readers has been here on DCUM. People are BITCHY and JEALOUS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my kid first started to read he would tell people occasionally because he was pretty proud of it. Initially I'd hear that kind of dismissive reply - "oh he's just memorizing" etc.

Now it comes up more organically - like he reads the menu while we're out or a sign at the playground or something on someone's shirt and people will be shocked and always complimentary. I wish they'd stop telling him he's smart or a genius though -- we try to praise for effort instead, though it does seem to be effortless.

Now that he's 4.5 and reading advance chapter books I'm no longer in awe but the fact they he reads in public (takes books to a restaurant, for example, or reads in the grocery cart while we shop) he still gets a lot of praise and attention from strangers. I don't think he likes the attention too much.

But the only REALLY negative stuff I've seen about early readers has been here on DCUM. People are BITCHY and JEALOUS.

Pride goeth before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

[Anonymous]

Well, first of all, we didn't do anything except read a lot. DC just happens to be one of those kids who picked up reading very fast and very easily. It's not uncommon. There are a lot of these kinds of kids.

Second, we know it doesn't mean much in the longterm and that the rest of the kids will catch up in early elementary school.

That is nice of you to say, OP, but the gap just keeps getting wider and wider. Very smart kids are just a bit smarter than their peers at age 4. By age 8 they are 2 grades above. By HS, they are in a different world. And by college they are in a different college. If the trend continues you may have to find a better education that is in the local school.

[Anonymous]

I think what this board is showing, is that reading at a young age is not "precocious," it's just another place on the "normal" age appropriate scale. There is a whole range of normal for all ages and all skills, this is one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kid first started to read he would tell people occasionally because he was pretty proud of it. Initially I'd hear that kind of dismissive reply - "oh he's just memorizing" etc.

Now it comes up more organically - like he reads the menu while we're out or a sign at the playground or something on someone's shirt and people will be shocked and always complimentary. I wish they'd stop telling him he's smart or a genius though -- we try to praise for effort instead, though it does seem to be effortless.

Now that he's 4.5 and reading advance chapter books I'm no longer in awe but the fact they he reads in public (takes books to a restaurant, for example, or reads in the grocery cart while we shop) he still gets a lot of praise and attention from strangers. I don't think he likes the attention too much.

But the only REALLY negative stuff I've seen about early readers has been here on DCUM. People are BITCHY and JEALOUS.

Pride goeth before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Not just bitchy and jealous, BIBLICALLY bitchy and jealous.