Parents of precocious readers: Why do I feel like I have to pretend my kid can't read?

[Anonymous]

It is clear from the responses of a lot of people here that many people have just never met the kids who do in fact pick up reading just by being read to, so OP you can expect a some people to think it's cool and others to assume you did something horrid. Tell them to google neurotypical hyperlexia.

But like many others here, our experience was that most people were kind; only one person ever joked about flashcards (teacher's aid), but she was joking since she knew kids don't learn DS's level of fluency and comprehension from flashcards -- and DS was not the only precocious reader in his K class (luckily there were 5). Our pediatrician was appropriate too and did a quick eval to make sure we weren't dealing with spliter-skill hyperlexia: https://www.wisconsinmedicalsociety.org/professional/savant-syndrome/resources/articles/hyperlexia-reading-precociousness-or-savant-skill/

I was most concerned about the "false praise syndrome" where people praised DS for his ability to read, when to him it was as if they praised him for learning to walk or talk or being born with pretty eyes. He has no more memory of learning to read than learning to talk and views it in much the same way. Even worse were friends (and grandparents) who treated it like a "stupid pet trick" and constantly asked DS to "perform." Ick. We didn't/couldn't hide the fact that he could read, but we didn't allow that sort of showcasing or false praise when we could help it without being rude.

[Anonymous]

Just don't brag about it and no one will care.

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP who said my kid happened to pick it up. Yes, he did teach himself to read. It's not uncommon. I did it too, according to my mother. We always read to him a lot and at some point he started reading signs while we were driving, labels on things at the grocery store, etc., and asking about them. I realized the extent of his reading ability when we were at the pediatrician's office waiting for the doctor and he read aloud a sign on her wall and asked me what it meant. I was actually shocked. Now, I'm not saying he could comprehend everything or write a book report at that point, but he was reading.

[Anonymous]

It actually is fairly uncommon for a kid to read at three and one-half. We know two kids (not mine who could do it- one turned out to be exceptionally gifted and one is very bright but not gifted. Basically, it's not something to be dismissed as "just early reading" but not an absolute sign of intellectual genius.

I would ignore people- I wouldn't brush it under the rug because you have a parental prerogative to be proud of your kid.

If folks feel jealous or cynical about your child's early reading it's their problem.

[Anonymous]

OP: Ignore the comments and just enjoy your child's successes and love of reading. Have been where you are. (Could have written your post.)

My early reader is now 10. Still LOVES to read and simply devours books of all levels.

Life with him is never dull, especially when librarians try to tell me that certain reading material is inappropriate. I let him choose whatever (e.g. Hunger Games in grade 3 was a fun library adventure!)

The hardest thing for him was finding kids at his level that he wanted to be friends with. Didn't happen until HGC.

[Anonymous]

What's HGC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care at all, OP, but please don't brag when your child is reading Harry Potter.

Insecure much?

[Anonymous]

You need to hang out with people who have more going on and are focused on their own kids and problems. My best friend's kid can read at 3.5, my kid can only recognize a few sight words at 5. It is what it is, not worth spending a lot of time thinking about or talking about.

[Anonymous]

HGC=highly gifted center

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, where do you live? It sounds like the people you are around are bitchy. I have an early reader and nobody accuses me of drilling her.

perhaps OP is Asian?

My kiddo taught herself to read at two. Definitely because she's Asian. No other reason. If she'd actually been born in Asia, she probably would have emerged from the womb reading.

In all seriousness, my ill' Asian baby wanted to read, so she did it. She's still like that. If she wants to do something, she just does it. Except with singing. Great love for it, all the desire in the world, but no matter how hard she tries...it brings her joy, though, and that makes me smile. Every kid has their gifts!

People will always say things and people will always do things. All these little things that seem to matter so much early on seem to fade into the background over time. Now go snuggle up with your little one and let him read you a bedtime story!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whenever strangers notice our three-year-old can read fluently like when DC reads part of a book out loud in a waiting room because DC has a question, they make snide comments about how we shouldn't push kids this age this hard and basically assume we are bad parents. When our pediatrician asked us how our three-year-old is doing developmentally we said ok and when she pressed about whether DC knows the alphabet we mentioned that our child can read. Pediatrician did not believe us and made a comment about how it's great DC is trying to learn the sounds of letters or something like that.

Thankfully the topic does not come up at our preschool as it's play-based and I don't think the teachers have noticed. One parent who we're not really friendly with noticed at a recent birthday party that DC could read some signs at the venue we were at and told us that it means nothing and that all the kids will catch up and exceed DC's abilities soon enough and that studies have shown that drilling kids with flashcards, etc. at this age actually hurts them. I was speechless as all I had said to her previously was basically, "Hi."

Well, first of all, we didn't do anything except read a lot. DC just happens to be one of those kids who picked up reading very fast and very easily. It's not uncommon. There are a lot of these kinds of kids.

Second, we know it doesn't mean much in the longterm and that the rest of the kids will catch up in early elementary school.

Besides, I don't know why it is anyone's business if other parents do drill their kids at this age? Personally, I applaud them for being dedicated parents and making the time to do this.

Why is there this weird culture in the Washington area where parents are so judgmental and they make a big deal out of something that isn't a big deal?

This is, what makes me think that's exactly what you did and now you want to feel better about it. If your child just picked up reading on his/her own - great. But honestly, the cases where children just learn to read without any trying from their parents are...well...few and far between. So yeah, it sounds like an issue you are having...

[Anonymous]

My kid was a fluent reader at 4. But he doesn't read books. He wanted to be able to read the dialogue on video games.

There you have it, folks: proof that crappy parenting can produce a precocious reader.

You're welcome.

[Anonymous]

11:34, you are too funny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid was a fluent reader at 4. But he doesn't read books. He wanted to be able to read the dialogue on video games.

There you have it, folks: proof that crappy parenting can produce a precocious reader.

You're welcome.

I love you!

[Anonymous]

My kid was a fluent reader at 4. But he doesn't read books. He wanted to be able to read the dialogue on video games.

There you have it, folks: proof that crappy parenting can produce a precocious reader.

You're welcome.

It is all about motivation! Let them read comic books.