Parents of precocious readers: Why do I feel like I have to pretend my kid can't read?

[Anonymous]

Whenever strangers notice our three-year-old can read fluently like when DC reads part of a book out loud in a waiting room because DC has a question, they make snide comments about how we shouldn't push kids this age this hard and basically assume we are bad parents. When our pediatrician asked us how our three-year-old is doing developmentally we said ok and when she pressed about whether DC knows the alphabet we mentioned that our child can read. Pediatrician did not believe us and made a comment about how it's great DC is trying to learn the sounds of letters or something like that.

Thankfully the topic does not come up at our preschool as it's play-based and I don't think the teachers have noticed. One parent who we're not really friendly with noticed at a recent birthday party that DC could read some signs at the venue we were at and told us that it means nothing and that all the kids will catch up and exceed DC's abilities soon enough and that studies have shown that drilling kids with flashcards, etc. at this age actually hurts them. I was speechless as all I had said to her previously was basically, "Hi."

Well, first of all, we didn't do anything except read a lot. DC just happens to be one of those kids who picked up reading very fast and very easily. It's not uncommon. There are a lot of these kinds of kids.

Second, we know it doesn't mean much in the longterm and that the rest of the kids will catch up in early elementary school.

Besides, I don't know why it is anyone's business if other parents do drill their kids at this age? Personally, I applaud them for being dedicated parents and making the time to do this.

Why is there this weird culture in the Washington area where parents are so judgmental and they make a big deal out of something that isn't a big deal?

[Anonymous]

I think it's you, not your kid.

[Anonymous]

You seem really proud of your excellent parenting.

[Anonymous]

Because parents like the previous two pps exist. Jealous much pps?

[Anonymous]

NP here. I cannot imagine strangers making such comments. I have a very precocious child who was advanced in many ways including reading from a very young age. Many people commented but Not once did I hear anything that I would have considered snide. So like PPs, I agree that this seems so odd.

[Anonymous]

Where do you live op?
I could totally imagine people in our neighborhood making such comments.

[Anonymous]

I was a precocious reader and still love to read. I did not grow up in the DC area and have no idea if people made snide comments, although I doubt it. I'd ignore them and cultivate the reading more (you seem preoccupied with having people not notice). I'm more concerned about the ped. The ped didn't believe you? Does your ped disabuse you of other things you say about your child? Certainly it's not the norm, but I don't think reading at 3 is SO RARE that a ped should doubt you, but maybe I'm mistaken and I really was a special snowflake.

[Anonymous]

Sorry you are getting bad vibes OP! We had an early reader here too who would always read aloud in public. We experienced nothing but kind words! Perhaps pointing out what their child is good at (and yours is not) will help melt the tension. My DS is not the sportsman so I always comment positively when someone else's kid is excellent at throwing, kicking, etc.

[Anonymous]

It is suprising to me too. A three year old reading is early and great but it is not unheard of at all. Your pediatrician didn't believe you? I read at three. My daughter read books to her 3 year old preschool class. I never heard comments like that..mostly complements and some comparison things like "Billy hardly knows his letters" Luckily my other child was a much slower reader so I could always chime in with my opposite experience and reassurance that all kids are on their own schedule.

[Anonymous]

Bragplaint.

[Anonymous]

Parent of an early reader here: It's not you, its them. I guess it really bothers other parents. My DS (now in college) started reading at age 3. Really reading. Blew through chapter books in K and so on. It got bigger and bigger. But he was a smart little kid and told the K teacher (from h3!!) that he could not read b/c he wanted to sit next to the cool guy. I called the K teacher when he was reading books he finished in preschool and asked her. She gave me a load of reading comprehension BS. He knew the material. As the grades went past he kept pulling ahead.
Finding great school for him was an increasing challenge, and now he is at an Ivy.
But back to the beginning -- people hate it for some reason. We covered it up, and met other parents like us -- they are around, b/c many smart kids living in this area. GL..

[Anonymous]

Ehh. I have an early reader. I know it means nothing in the long term, but yeah, I feel smugly proud about it. My kid is doing something cool. I bet you feel the same way, just be honest.

If your preschool teachers haven't noticed, but strangers in a waiting room (when you're present) have, you're almost definitely being show-boaty about it and having DC read out loud in public. If s/he was doing this on his or her own all the time, the teachers would definitely know.

People are reacting to YOU. Just face it. It'll stop soon enough when all their kids read too and it's nothing to notice. For now, just try saying something like "Yeah, I find this reading stuff really crazy. I never read early and s/he just gets it and it's neat." It'll make you look more human and less faux-blase.

[Anonymous]

My 3 yr old could read. Just basic books like the level 1 readers or pre readers. We had no idea he could read until he picked up one of his older siblings books and started to read.

Someone once commented on it to me. I just replied, "I know, don't know where it came from" and then I changed the subject.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a precocious reader and still love to read. I did not grow up in the DC area and have no idea if people made snide comments, although I doubt it. I'd ignore them and cultivate the reading more (you seem preoccupied with having people not notice). I'm more concerned about the ped. The ped didn't believe you? Does your ped disabuse you of other things you say about your child? Certainly it's not the norm, but I don't think reading at 3 is SO RARE that a ped should doubt you, but maybe I'm mistaken and I really was a special snowflake.

PP: Our ped was a saint. When he saw how proud we were of our baby he gently kidded us -- he did not want us to be friendless!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Why is there this weird culture in the Washington area where parents are so judgmental and they make a big deal out of something that isn't a big deal?

Alternative interpretation: all kinds of people make all kinds of stupid comments about all kinds of things. The sensible reaction is to ignore these comments.