Help me with this realtionship -- sister always asking for money and angry if I say no

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the same boat, but mine is worse. I have three of them who asks me for money. I feel guilty if I don't give in to them because I have more than I need. But money don't grow on trees, I work hard to earn it, that's why it's making me angry. I know what I'm doing is what people call "enabling" but damn it! Why is it hard to say no. They don't use the angry approach, they beg and call it borrowing. Nobody wants to see a family beg and I don't expect to see my money back again. I'm angry at myself for being so lame and at them for being so useless. I should have been an only child. I should disown them. I don't know what to do! Anybody please help!

I'll help:

Start your own thread instead of resurrecting a zombie thread.

What do you do all day?

[Anonymous]

OP,

My best friend's sister becomes suicidal when she doesn't get the money she demands from my friend.
This individual is also on drugs, and has a couple of diagnosed psychiatric disorders.

Perhaps your sister is the same type. She may love you *in her own way*, but it won't stop her from using you and abusing you and your family. She can't help herself.

So back away and seek a therapist. If the worst happens, you should not feel guilty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister married a guy that only draws. 700a month , her 4th marriage , i put my foot down. today , I'm tired of givin her money bailing. Them out. ,i was nice enough. to. buy her a new car a yr ago 25.000 grand car ,i made my money with music ,tourin with big heavy music bands. ,i don't play music anymore my money goin to hav to lsst me she not goin to drain me. she tries to throw a guilt trip on me sayin she only has three dollars to her name. well that's not my fault. if she wanted to marry .she should of married someone with more than her now husband has. or stay single. , she thinks i should give it to her since I'm the one who toured worked my butt off. I'm not goin to give her no money plus I've paid her car insurance. bought her new glasses. its not right. I'm not runnin no bank ppl like her all the ppl who reads this has the same problem. tell them the banks closed

The choices in punctuation here are blowing my mind.

I blame the touring with heavy metal. Killed some brain cells by some means...

That's funny... the touring bands I played with were more rock/punk and no one writes like this haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the same boat, but mine is worse. I have three of them who asks me for money. I feel guilty if I don't give in to them because I have more than I need. But money don't grow on trees, I work hard to earn it, that's why it's making me angry. I know what I'm doing is what people call "enabling" but damn it! Why is it hard to say no. They don't use the angry approach, they beg and call it borrowing. Nobody wants to see a family beg and I don't expect to see my money back again. I'm angry at myself for being so lame and at them for being so useless. I should have been an only child. I should disown them. I don't know what to do! Anybody please help!

I'll help:

Start your own thread instead of resurrecting a zombie thread.

And take a grammar class while you're at it.

[Anonymous]

the girl who cried wolf... also these people could have drug problems and all the stories they ever told u about need money, did you actually see the problem with the dog? or the surgery scars? i know this was over 2 years ago just saying, sounds like a drug problem

[Anonymous]

The OPs sisters vet is a bitch.

[Anonymous]

I wish I had an answer but I fell on this thread looking for one. My sister is always in hardship. It's not for huge amounts but its 'just that few $ til payday - usually because the electric meter is running low and something ate up all the credit. It's irritating. I have to remind her every time for the payment back and the same excuse is that theres always something mithering her. Last time she just messaged me and said her paycheck was short this month. Never said she couldnt pay me back, just didn't. I sold an item for her on ebay to help her out and the buyer never recieved it so I had to refund them. I don't know if it's coincidence or what. She has argued over money with aunts too. She tries so hard in her working life to better herself I feel as if she is being leeched by her dead beat partner who, afaik has never worked. She defends him highly extolling his virtues in life lessons as some kind of value higher than cash:maybe - but it don't pay the bills and never did in the 40 years they spent together.

[Anonymous]

I have a sister too that always ask for money.She has taken over half of the estate and my parents are still alive.Seems like every couple weeks shes in dire need of thousands of dollars.It was so hard to say no to her ,but I finally built up the courage.It has been atleast a year since we have talked.I would rather have no realtionship with her than to be bugged weekly for money.This is actually a good thing because now I can breath and all the stress on the family has stopped.If they want nothing to do with you because you wont give them money than there not real family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's hitting up people for money to pay for her dogs surgery??

People should only hit up others for money if they are homeless, have a significant medical issue etc.

I'm always surprised at what point people will start asking for money. For me, I have to be wearing my last shirt and homeless before I will ask for a loan. What I've learned is that people have different opinions on what constitutes an emergency and necessities versus luxuries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The OPs sisters vet is a bitch.

No. Sister probably owes the vet money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The OPs sisters vet is a bitch.

No. The sister probably owes the vet money.

[Anonymous]

Sister can be angry
Not Op's problem

[Anonymous]

Just say no to any more requests for money, unless she needs food/rent. In this case, provide the food or pay the landlord but do not hand over cash. Enablers who do this often end up being abused or even subject to violence from the borrowers.