Sibling's +1 to wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I replied previously that you should accept the plus1, but since it's not just a dinner but a whole trip you're financing, I think that's pretty obnoxious of your brother and this friend. He probably said, "Don't worry, sis is loaded!" and she took him up on the offer.

+1

OP has a right to be annoyed. This person isn't even a SO of the brother and OP has never met her. The brother originally wasn't planning on bringing anyone then just sprung it.

Btw, OP does NOT sound homophobic. Geez, pc much??

[Anonymous]

Honestly, it sounds like you resent your brother in general.

You told him he could bring a +1. You didn't put any conditions on that. You would have been okay if he'd brought his new girlfriend, right? So why are you all pissy because he brought his new friend instead?

You're not paying her travel expenses. The only cost you're incurring is what you would pay for any other guest at your wedding--so two meals. Get over it. The only thing that it's legit to be upset about is if he was late RSVPing. But were you really going to invite a random other person at the last minute if he didn't bring a +1? If not, it's not about wanting to invite someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are in a bad mood today! OP is paying.

I can sympathize, OP, but I have seen it from brother's side, too. I'm guessing there are other issues at play here that you aren't detailing.

Yes there are other issues (this same sibling asked my parents not to financially contribute so that money wouldn't be taken away from the allowance my parents give him...he is a grad student). I don't mind if people are in bad moods today or feeling particularly feisty. I sought out the opinions, so I can take it...

I have always assumed that if a +1 was not a romantic partner, then it should be someone at least the bride or groom knows. Maybe my assumption was wrong. I've been wrong before.

If your parents are paying for this and he is their son...you really need to chill.

Until you pay for an entire wedding yourself, from rehearsal dinner to actual wedding and reception to day after brunch, then I am kind of over hearing about your issue of having one extra guest who is your sibling's friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I replied previously that you should accept the plus1, but since it's not just a dinner but a whole trip you're financing, I think that's pretty obnoxious of your brother and this friend. He probably said, "Don't worry, sis is loaded!" and she took him up on the offer.

Where did OP say she was financing the whole trip? Her PARENTS give him an allowance not OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I replied previously that you should accept the plus1, but since it's not just a dinner but a whole trip you're financing, I think that's pretty obnoxious of your brother and this friend. He probably said, "Don't worry, sis is loaded!" and she took him up on the offer.

Where did OP say she was financing the whole trip? Her PARENTS give him an allowance not OP.

She's not--the OP said that her brother was paying for airfare, and apparently her parents are paying for the brother's hotel. So she's out the cost of the +1's meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:im not the op but i went to my little sister's wedding without a date and guess what?? it wasnt boring at all because it was about FAMILY

Actually it's not about family, it's a party for the bride and groom. And since the bride and groom are busy for most of the event, most people like to have someone else there to talk to, dance with, etc. . .

[Anonymous]

Who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I replied previously that you should accept the plus1, but since it's not just a dinner but a whole trip you're financing, I think that's pretty obnoxious of your brother and this friend. He probably said, "Don't worry, sis is loaded!" and she took him up on the offer.

+1

OP has a right to be annoyed. This person isn't even a SO of the brother and OP has never met her. The brother originally wasn't planning on bringing anyone then just sprung it.

Btw, OP does NOT sound homophobic. Geez, pc much??

If this is true, next time OP is having a big event, she needs to specify that the only guests allowed are significant others. She didn't do this (and thank god, because that is pretty strange). And yes, it does sound like OP is stressed about having her brother's lesbian platonic friend there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are in a bad mood today! OP is paying.

I can sympathize, OP, but I have seen it from brother's side, too. I'm guessing there are other issues at play here that you aren't detailing.

Yes there are other issues (this same sibling asked my parents not to financially contribute so that money wouldn't be taken away from the allowance my parents give him...he is a grad student). I don't mind if people are in bad moods today or feeling particularly feisty. I sought out the opinions, so I can take it...

I have always assumed that if a +1 was not a romantic partner, then it should be someone at least the bride or groom knows. Maybe my assumption was wrong. I've been wrong before.

I hate the idea that romantic partners always get preference over friends---some people are not interested in romantic relationships but have v close friends. They have to attend all weddings etc alone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's more annoying to BE the plus 1. Go to someone's wedding I have never met as a favor for a friend? Yuck. But sometimes friends to favors like that, so think of her as doing something nice for your brother. You're going to be so busy that day. Let it go.

NOt OP but come on? A favor? Sounds like this girl is getting, minus flight, a free weekend trip? That's not a favor, that's a come up!

A free couple of nights in a hotel to attend a wedding of someone I don't know/care about? Not worth it. I'd definitely only do it as a favor.

Free nights in a hotel on the beach plus 2 dinners and open bars?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it sounds like you resent your brother in general.

You told him he could bring a +1. You didn't put any conditions on that. You would have been okay if he'd brought his new girlfriend, right? So why are you all pissy because he brought his new friend instead?

You're not paying her travel expenses. The only cost you're incurring is what you would pay for any other guest at your wedding--so two meals. Get over it. The only thing that it's legit to be upset about is if he was late RSVPing. But were you really going to invite a random other person at the last minute if he didn't bring a +1? If not, it's not about wanting to invite someone else.

Would not have invited a "random other person" at the last minute. All of our parents gave us a list of local people they would like (I guess you could call it a B list) to include, space permitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are in a bad mood today! OP is paying.

I can sympathize, OP, but I have seen it from brother's side, too. I'm guessing there are other issues at play here that you aren't detailing.

Yes there are other issues (this same sibling asked my parents not to financially contribute so that money wouldn't be taken away from the allowance my parents give him...he is a grad student). I don't mind if people are in bad moods today or feeling particularly feisty. I sought out the opinions, so I can take it...

I have always assumed that if a +1 was not a romantic partner, then it should be someone at least the bride or groom knows. Maybe my assumption was wrong. I've been wrong before.

If your parents are paying for this and he is their son...you really need to chill.

Until you pay for an entire wedding yourself, from rehearsal dinner to actual wedding and reception to day after brunch, then I am kind of over hearing about your issue of having one extra guest who is your sibling's friend.

Fiance and I are paying for 100% of rehearsal dinner and 75% of actual wedding and reception.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are in a bad mood today! OP is paying.

I can sympathize, OP, but I have seen it from brother's side, too. I'm guessing there are other issues at play here that you aren't detailing.

Yes there are other issues (this same sibling asked my parents not to financially contribute so that money wouldn't be taken away from the allowance my parents give him...he is a grad student). I don't mind if people are in bad moods today or feeling particularly feisty. I sought out the opinions, so I can take it...

I have always assumed that if a +1 was not a romantic partner, then it should be someone at least the bride or groom knows. Maybe my assumption was wrong. I've been wrong before.

If your parents are paying for this and he is their son...you really need to chill.

Until you pay for an entire wedding yourself, from rehearsal dinner to actual wedding and reception to day after brunch, then I am kind of over hearing about your issue of having one extra guest who is your sibling's friend.

New poster here...I'm honestly kind of surprised that no one has commented on this. This is kind of dick of the brother!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are in a bad mood today! OP is paying.

I can sympathize, OP, but I have seen it from brother's side, too. I'm guessing there are other issues at play here that you aren't detailing.

Yes there are other issues (this same sibling asked my parents not to financially contribute so that money wouldn't be taken away from the allowance my parents give him...he is a grad student). I don't mind if people are in bad moods today or feeling particularly feisty. I sought out the opinions, so I can take it...

I have always assumed that if a +1 was not a romantic partner, then it should be someone at least the bride or groom knows. Maybe my assumption was wrong. I've been wrong before.

I hate the idea that romantic partners always get preference over friends---some people are not interested in romantic relationships but have v close friends. They have to attend all weddings etc alone?

you obviously are single

[Anonymous]

OP, I agree that you should get over it and move on. But I must say, I do hope that your brother's guest contributes to a gift, at least. If she, a stranger, comes to your wedding and doesn't bother to get you a gift, now that will be a real freeloader and something to get annoyed about.