Sibling's +1 to wedding

[Anonymous]

This is nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop it with the bridezilla please. Its offensive. I get where OP is coming from. Its a destination wedding on her dime, and the plus 1s were obviously extended as a courtesy if they were actually romantically involved with someone. I'm torn on what I'd do. You said he could bring someone and didn't specify who, BUT this woman has no connection to you or to your family and is just taking the opportunity for a vacation. I'd be annoyed for sure.

She is being a bridezilla. She knew her brother was single so she shouldn't have extended a plus one. Or she could have stated that if by the time RSVPs were due he had a gf he could bring her. But she didn't make any clauses on the plus 1 so she has no right to be pissed at the brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here-

I particularly was peeved when he repeatedly said no to the +1 for 10 months and then sprung this on us 1 month out.

But you wouldn't have been annoyed about the one month thing if it were his girlfriend, right? And with that much time still left you are surely fine to adjust your numbers. So don't act like it's about that when it's really not. IT just makes you look silly.

[Anonymous]

But it's her own brother, not some random guest who's bringing a buddy as a +1. That should count for something.

[Anonymous]

OP again:

-Maybe I should clarify, not a random intl destination wedding. It is a beach in the southern US...which is my hometown.
-I may be annoyed, but I'm not rude. I have already redone seating chart and added his guest to the rehearsal dinner and etc.
-I also wish that he would have either told us to leave the +1 option open for him OR rsvped on time like everyone else. He assured us that he wasn't going to bring anyone for the last 11 months!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You told him he could bring one, it would be rude to now say he can't because his +1 doesn't make your preferred list. Not to mention that for a destination wedding, they very likely have already made travel plans and may incur cancellation fees if you say she can't come. Are you prepared to reimburse her for that?

Also, you're having a destination wedding. For the love of all that is decent, if you're going to make him spend $$ and PTO for your "dream," at least let him bring along someone he'll have fun spending time with.

I agree with this. A destination wedding? He's already making a big sacrifice in vacation time and travel expenses. Let him bring the friend.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are not helping your case by posting more info.

[Anonymous]

Well, I don't think you can be angry that the +1 is not a romantic partner, but if the RSVP date has passed, I think you are within your rights to tell him that it is a problem that he RSVPed late with an additional person.

[Anonymous]

We let each of our siblings invite one or two close friends to our wedding (although we knew them all). My sister brought her boyfriend (now husband) as well. I invited my in-laws to her wedding. It's a big day for your siblings too and they should be comfortable as well.

[Anonymous]

People are in a bad mood today! OP is paying.

I can sympathize, OP, but I have seen it from brother's side, too. I'm guessing there are other issues at play here that you aren't detailing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop it with the bridezilla please. Its offensive. I get where OP is coming from. Its a destination wedding on her dime, and the plus 1s were obviously extended as a courtesy if they were actually romantically involved with someone. I'm torn on what I'd do. You said he could bring someone and didn't specify who, BUT this woman has no connection to you or to your family and is just taking the opportunity for a vacation. I'd be annoyed for sure.

OP here- Thank you! This is what I feel, but perhaps more eloquently stated. Everyone we are (happily) paying for for the welcome dinner and wedding is here because they are a meaningful part of our lives and we couldn't imagine getting married without that person being there to celebrate with us. My brother just met this person in the last few months at work and neither of us, nor MY PARENTS had ever heard my brother mention this new friend. It feels like she is coming for the vacation.

[Anonymous]

Don't say plus 1 if you don't mean it. Of all people, your brother should be allowed to bring a guest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop it with the bridezilla please. Its offensive. I get where OP is coming from. Its a destination wedding on her dime, and the plus 1s were obviously extended as a courtesy if they were actually romantically involved with someone. I'm torn on what I'd do. You said he could bring someone and didn't specify who, BUT this woman has no connection to you or to your family and is just taking the opportunity for a vacation. I'd be annoyed for sure.

She is being a bridezilla. She knew her brother was single so she shouldn't have extended a plus one. Or she could have stated that if by the time RSVPs were due he had a gf he could bring her. But she didn't make any clauses on the plus 1 so she has no right to be pissed at the brother.

Yes its totally appropriate to call any woman with an opinion a bitch or if she happens to be a bride, bridezilla. If this wasn't a wedding, if it were some other kind of (expensive) rite of passage (baptism, bar mitzvah, etc.) we would all be in agreement that it is a bit inappropriate for brother to bring a freeloading rando. OP is paying for it, not brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i would find this annoying too. i have always interpreted a +1 to be a date to a wedding, not bringing a buddy just for the hell of it.

I actually think having a destination wedding that is likely someone's vacation for the year and then not allowing them to bring someone is really rude. We all know most destination weddings are way cheaper for the bride and groom anyway. Suck it up.

[Anonymous]

If the cost of one additional guest is going to make or break your budget, perhaps you should have planned a wedding you could actually afford.