Keeping up with your family

[Anonymous]

I dont have your problem OP but kind of the opposite one - struggling family always asking for money. They treat us like a piggy bank and its frustrating. Just giving you a perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny. I grew up very wealthy, and sister has become very wealthy. My DH grew up regular professional family upper middle class. His sister is very wealthy.

We are regular. Happy. Have everything we need. I no longer buy thousand dollar bags and shoes but don't really care. I usually look like the nanny.

Small house. But kids go to fancy private. I see some moms trying to show off things, houses, nanny, vacations.

My parents still pay for our vacations. Bought be a nice SUV. Offered to buy us a million plus house---- we said no but I really wanted to say yes.

I think bc I grew up with everything I do let feel the need to keep up with anyone. My sister just bought be a 3k bag for my bday..... I accepted. But that's pretty much where my nice things come from.

i still look like the nanny most days.... Driving my 100k SUV.... Maybe I need to reevaluate my life ?

You can't write for jack. Are you Asian?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry about the pressure you feel.
I have learned to live on less and I don't feel like I'm missing out. It helps to have family and friends who are similar to you.Right now you have to stretch to be similar to them financially.
You need to find what's working for your family.Whatever you are doing now, doesn't seem doable for long nor good for your soul.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry about the pressure you feel.
I have learned to live on less and I don't feel like I'm missing out. It helps to have family and friends who are similar to you.Right now you have to stretch to be similar to them financially.
You need to find what's working for your family.Whatever you are doing now, doesn't seem doable for long nor good for your soul.

+1

OP here, I agree.

[Anonymous]

Buy the GE, January 2016 $30 Calls.

When was the last time you flew on a plane that was not crowded? Airlines have finally figured out how to make profits. The new Boeing aircraft made from carbon fiber composite materials is an absolute game changer making every aluminum body plane in the world obsolete. Entire fleets of aircraft are being replaced because the reduction in fuel consumption is so amazing Also, China and Asian airlines are buying new commercial jets by the gross.

GE and Rolls Royce Aircraft makes the engines for those planes.

The price of GE will double before January 2016.

[Anonymous]

I think my dear mother feels sorry for me some days. We have a brick rambler and a couple kids but I've hit age 50 and am definitely a step below on the socioeconomic ladder from where I was raised. I was about 40 when I figured out that I would never achieve my old lifestyle. It's fine.

[Anonymous]

I grew up upper middle class. My parents had a huge custom built home on the water, had it professionally decorated, sent the kids to private school, and fully paid for college, graduate schools, and weddings. They could comfortably afford all of the above and were very smart with money. My husband and I earn a very good living but replicating that kind of lifestyle would be financially tight for us. The compromise we made was to buy a great house in our dream neighborhood and send our kids to the great public school down the street instead of paying for private school. Although I would love for them to be in private school, they are doing really well in the local public school. We plan to pay for their college and grad school educations, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think my dear mother feels sorry for me some days. We have a brick rambler and a couple kids but I've hit age 50 and am definitely a step below on the socioeconomic ladder from where I was raised. I was about 40 when I figured out that I would never achieve my old lifestyle. It's fine.

Sounds nice to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH comes from an upper middle class to wealthy family in DC. We've felt a little bit (even subconsciously) like we had to maintain the lifestyle in which he grew up. We also wanted to, but it's getting tougher and tougher and I feel like it's keeping "up with the jone's' but instead of the jone's it's his background and family. The result is feeling like we can only live in certain neighborhoods (NW Dc and close in MC) must continue sending kids to private school, be members of the country club etc. If we had more money I wouldn't mind so much but our budget is too tight.

Anybody else in this situation? I don't need to hear about how dumb it is to feel this way and how I shouldn't worry what others think. I'd love to hear from people who have experienced this and whether they bucked the system or just went along with it.

It's common.

You and DH should read "Millionaire Next Door" and then adjust your lifestyle as needed.

I've read it.

And you still feel bad? I'm sorry. Maybe you should talk to a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry about the pressure you feel.
I have learned to live on less and I don't feel like I'm missing out. It helps to have family and friends who are similar to you.Right now you have to stretch to be similar to them financially.
You need to find what's working for your family.Whatever you are doing now, doesn't seem doable for long nor good for your soul.

+1

OP here, I agree.

Then make different choices. You only get one life, why spend it focused on measuring up to some standard you did not choose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you grew up here and every single person you knew/know live in CC, bethesda or NW DC, and everyone went to private schools and everyone belonged to the club and so did their parents and maybe grandparents, you would not want to live in SS or another less expensive area. It's like moving to the wrong side of the tracks. Your in-laws and other family members would cringe and your friends would wonder what came over you. Many native, upper middle class/upper class Washingtonians know each other and it is kind of like a small town. Ever heard the term cave dweller?

Ha ha! I was on a thread a week or so ago where people all attacked me because I made a comment that most native DCers grew up wealth and entitled. And then a bunch of people posted "I grew up and CC and I'm so down to earth," et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you grew up here and every single person you knew/know live in CC, bethesda or NW DC, and everyone went to private schools and everyone belonged to the club and so did their parents and maybe grandparents, you would not want to live in SS or another less expensive area. It's like moving to the wrong side of the tracks. Your in-laws and other family members would cringe and your friends would wonder what came over you. Many native, upper middle class/upper class Washingtonians know each other and it is kind of like a small town. Ever heard the term cave dweller?

So maybe these natives with all of the expectations and golden handcuffs would do their own kids a favor by raising them in PG County or Silver Spring or some other middle class area (and yes, there are sections of PG that are actually middle class and not the crime-infested poverty-stricken pit some on here would have you believe), because they're kids wouldn't grow up so obsessed with keeping up with some BS image.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry about the pressure you feel.
I have learned to live on less and I don't feel like I'm missing out. It helps to have family and friends who are similar to you.Right now you have to stretch to be similar to them financially.
You need to find what's working for your family.Whatever you are doing now, doesn't seem doable for long nor good for your soul.

+1

OP here, I agree.

You should be my girlfriend. I'm not easily impressed by stuff. I do recognized lovely things, but it's just that-things(stuff).
I'm actually from former Soviet Union, and when I moved here in 1996, all I wanted was a pair of Nike shoes(sad, huh?!). I somehow thought that they'll make me feel better or look better or run better.None of it happened, so hell with the stuff!
Try to surround yourself with people with more substance than things or money to counterbalance your family.

[Anonymous]

I'm the pp who asked the OP to list their income...because I figured it was an affluent person who is less wealthy than her counterparts, yet still wealthy and simply doesn't realize it or appreciate it. They live in the BCC cluster and pull in $300k a year, so I don't think they warrant a pity party.

Fwiw, we make just under $150k and consider ourselves blessed.

Perhaps we should shift the theme of this thread to helping the OP learn how to count his/her blessings?

[Anonymous]

I am very grateful for what I have and proud of my accomplishments. It is nice, however, to hear from other people that they understand how I feel and/or feel the same way.