Complaint about offer to drop meal by with new baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cut OP some slack, sleep deprived, hormonal, etc. I remember I was waiting for my ILs to arrive at a set time to take my very active 18 month old so I could hopefully get some sleep with my new baby. I was hanging on by a thread and when they were 20 minutes late I lost it and called them and said, "you guys are late". I expected relief at a certain time and when it didn't arrive I became irrationally furious. I still cannot believe I did that and hope they have forgotten.

It would be the last time I ever did anything for you. You are rude and entitled.

Not the PP, but you are lacking empathy and sound like a princess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate meal deliveries like these! They always end up being such a bother, especially for a new mom. I speak from experience; my playgroup organized a meal drop off for me after my second was born.

First, most of the moms way over-stayed their visit. We're talking a sit down meet and greet with the new baby with their toddler in tow. I ended up feeling like I was entertaining. I was!

Another mom dropped off her meal at her convenience, sometime after dark, well after dinner. She explained that she was late because her toddler was suffering from pinworms and she was up late at night making the casserole for us. I said goodbye to her as fast as I could and then her casserole went straight into the garbage.

I know it's the thought that counts, but many times, providing a meal satisfies the meal maker more than the recipient, really. They make what they want, deliver it when they want, stay as long as they want and they feel great about doing something for the mom and baby.

After this, I insisted on no meal drop offs, claiming that my family was just too picky.

I've learned that if I am delivering a meal to a family that it is needed, wanted and I make certain to be accommodating of their schedule, not mine. I offer to provide breakfast, for instance, or provide a kid friendly meal for any siblings. Nice to include paper plates, napkins, drinks, cups, so the family can truly sit down and have everything at hand.

Wow I know this is just a vent but this is super bitchy and is why I hate being guilted into a meal drop off (whether it be through the office or playgroup or whatever). As a PP said, unless you have unusual circumstances (single parent, etc) you can usually manage to get dinner together from the prepared section of the store if you are in a bind. What I hate is that when I have done this, the recipient usually does not look any more taxed than I am in terms of ability to cook a meal. They never live anywhere near me, so I have to make a special trip across town (and I don't drive to work) to deliver a meal? Really inefficient. One time I was going to drop off a meal for someone and they weren't planning to be home to accept it (because they were out and about all day). I was like-- so I'm supposed to schlep across town and you can't even be bothered to be home (and if you're whole family is out all day, certainly you can manage to pick up dinner).

Then don't do it.

I love preparing great meals for people who need some help. I'll never forget the friend who showed up with roast beef, mashed potatoes with gravy, mixed vegetables, rolls and an apple crisp with ice cream - and homemade muffins for the next morning! - one day shortly after DS2 was born. He was not latching and I was sleep-deprived and beside myself with worry. DS1 was super-clingy and whiney and DH was far less helpful than he believed himself to be.

That meal tasted amazing.

Holy shit, that sounds incredible.

PP here. It was incredible. When you are BFing around the clock, sleep-deprived, hormonal and just plain worn out, there is NOTHING like a homemade meal. Nothing.

That is why I love preparing food for people who (for whatever reason) need it during difficult times. I know just how wonderful well-prepared homemade food tastes to people in a tough situation. I like thinking about what will taste good to them, and going the extra mile (homemade dessert) to make something fabulous.

Takeout or a grilled cheese - that doesn't cut it during those times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, may be the two of you misunderstood each other. My friends dropped me things that are either refrigerated and can be just thrown in the oven or things that are easily refrigerated. In all cases, nobody brought it at dinner time so it was not for immediate use but rather for next day. May be this is what your friend had in mind.

This is exactly my understanding of how this kind of thing works. OP, it was kind of your mistake for assuming it was meant for dinner THAT night.

[Anonymous]

I love preparing great meals for people who need some help. I'll never forget the friend who showed up with roast beef, mashed potatoes with gravy, mixed vegetables, rolls and an apple crisp with ice cream - and homemade muffins for the next morning! - one day shortly after DS2 was born. He was not latching and I was sleep-deprived and beside myself with worry. DS1 was super-clingy and whiney and DH was far less helpful than he believed himself to be.

OP, you do sound tired! As for the meal above, it sounds wonderful! I also got this one from a great neighbor. Did not love the healthy salmon swimming in the soggy spinach one so much-- felt very guilty when that one went down the disposal.

[Anonymous]

I would not say anything to the coworker who flaked but I would be annoyed. She didn't have to offer and she went out of her way to let OP know dinner was taken care of and then it wasn't. I know how annoyed I get with my DH when he says he'll take care of dinner, I get home and find that it's not taken care of and won't be ready until DD's bedtime. If I had known, I would have picked something up before coming home or I would have planned my evening differently. It just sucks to have some one flake on you. It sucks even more when you're breastfeeding and recovering from childbirth.