Am I a 'weirdo'?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To me (and I am not your target audience I suspect, I'm an early 40 something married woman with kids) you come across as way too self-involved. The idea that your musical tastes, your vintage porsche, and your scotch drinking--excuse me, Laphroig, neat-- somehow defines you as a person---much less as someone 'odd' or out of step or unique--is amusing. The fact that you dropped in being on the high school football team (but yet apart from it) and that you don't really care about money (and yet--there's an inheritance) and that you happen to be oh so good looking is a bunch of faux modesty. The fact that you think these things somehow convey something of importance about you--and that you share nothing of your values, interests, life experiences--is also telling.

While a list of attributes on an anonymous message board surely cannot convey the intricacies of a person, the story you construct about yourself sounds a hell of a lot like a well-crafted personal ad. Moreover, it's clear to me that you're not really worried that you're a weirdo. You are seeking out feedback, admiration, positive reinforcement, hoping to elicit exactly the responses you are mostly getting (wow, such an interesting, deep, soulful type--why is he done?). But carefully constructed self-image in need of constant reinforcement, even from strangers, is a total turn-off. Dating someone like that is exhausting and pointless--there's no room for anyone else.

That's pretty much the best post I've ever seen on DCUM. PP, are you the one who crafted such witty profiles of people based on their kids names?

Agree. And what an intriguing connection. Do tell, PP. Are you brilliant wit of that other thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To me (and I am not your target audience I suspect, I'm an early 40 something married woman with kids) you come across as way too self-involved. The idea that your musical tastes, your vintage porsche, and your scotch drinking--excuse me, Laphroig, neat-- somehow defines you as a person---much less as someone 'odd' or out of step or unique--is amusing. The fact that you dropped in being on the high school football team (but yet apart from it) and that you don't really care about money (and yet--there's an inheritance) and that you happen to be oh so good looking is a bunch of faux modesty. The fact that you think these things somehow convey something of importance about you--and that you share nothing of your values, interests, life experiences--is also telling.

While a list of attributes on an anonymous message board surely cannot convey the intricacies of a person, the story you construct about yourself sounds a hell of a lot like a well-crafted personal ad. Moreover, it's clear to me that you're not really worried that you're a weirdo. You are seeking out feedback, admiration, positive reinforcement, hoping to elicit exactly the responses you are mostly getting (wow, such an interesting, deep, soulful type--why is he done?). But carefully constructed self-image in need of constant reinforcement, even from strangers, is a total turn-off. Dating someone like that is exhausting and pointless--there's no room for anyone else.

That's pretty much the best post I've ever seen on DCUM. PP, are you the one who crafted such witty profiles of people based on their kids names?

This is good. +2

Smack down delivered.

What if PP is OP sock puppeting her own thread.

[Anonymous]

Your interests sound fine to me, OP, but what's not clear is how you interact with women. When you talk to a woman, do you ask her about what she's interested in and do you listen and ask questions based on her responses? I can share every interest with a guy but if he just keeps talking about himself, forget it. And, really, some men do tend to go on about themselves or what they're thinking about. I'm okay with it in some respects at parties because I like to find out what people do and think - but a lot of times I'm also thinking that while this person is interesting to talk to for half an hour I would never want to hang out with him longer than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To me (and I am not your target audience I suspect, I'm an early 40 something married woman with kids) you come across as way too self-involved. The idea that your musical tastes, your vintage porsche, and your scotch drinking--excuse me, Laphroig, neat-- somehow defines you as a person---much less as someone 'odd' or out of step or unique--is amusing. The fact that you dropped in being on the high school football team (but yet apart from it) and that you don't really care about money (and yet--there's an inheritance) and that you happen to be oh so good looking is a bunch of faux modesty. The fact that you think these things somehow convey something of importance about you--and that you share nothing of your values, interests, life experiences--is also telling.

While a list of attributes on an anonymous message board surely cannot convey the intricacies of a person, the story you construct about yourself sounds a hell of a lot like a well-crafted personal ad. Moreover, it's clear to me that you're not really worried that you're a weirdo. You are seeking out feedback, admiration, positive reinforcement, hoping to elicit exactly the responses you are mostly getting (wow, such an interesting, deep, soulful type--why is he done?). But carefully constructed self-image in need of constant reinforcement, even from strangers, is a total turn-off. Dating someone like that is exhausting and pointless--there's no room for anyone else.

That's pretty much the best post I've ever seen on DCUM. PP, are you the one who crafted such witty profiles of people based on their kids names?

This is good. +2

Smack down delivered.

What if PP is OP sock puppeting her own thread.

Oh haiilllll no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you dominate or submissive in bed? Answer the damn question!!!! Sex is 50% of a relationship. This is a critical question!

Lol! You're very persistent. (I'm not the OP).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hipster? Leave dc.

I agree that you are probably living in the wrong city. DC doesn't seem to be a good fit for how you describe yourself. how about Ann Arbor? Or a nice smaller city in West Virginia or maybe Amherst, MA, or even Burlington, VT (you mentioned liking Stowe and you would be closer to Martha's vineyard, too)

[Anonymous]

That's pretty much the best post I've ever seen on DCUM. PP, are you the one who crafted such witty profiles of people based on their kids names?

PP here, no I'm not--would that I had the time or the talent! I just knew a lot of men like the OP in grad school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 40 and think your knowledge of music sounds boring and I would hate it if you played it or talked about it all the time. Otherwise I think you sound great!

I agree. Your seriousness about music is the only thing that would turn me off. Well, and the fact that you sound like you might be a little cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dominant.

And no for fucks sake I'm just saying I just like all this shit none of my generational cohort gives a flying fuck about. My life is not a Wes Anderson movie.

I am NOT looking for constant approval or praise. Wanting to know you aren't alone/a total deal is hardly the same thing.

Went to a big state school. Marketing director for a privately owned smb.

And I never talk about music in front of peopl. C'mon - do you rally think I don't know nobody cares about that shit? Ha ha

Well, then in that case, if I were single and if you truly go to the gym and keep fit, then I would most definitely do you. They relationship thing may or may not happen. I happen to be into music, but am very narrow in my historical knowledge...it basically only covers the DC punk scene from the 80s-90s.

However thanks for answering my question. If you were submissive, that would be a complete and total deal breaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To me (and I am not your target audience I suspect, I'm an early 40 something married woman with kids) you come across as way too self-involved. The idea that your musical tastes, your vintage porsche, and your scotch drinking--excuse me, Laphroig, neat-- somehow defines you as a person---much less as someone 'odd' or out of step or unique--is amusing. The fact that you dropped in being on the high school football team (but yet apart from it) and that you don't really care about money (and yet--there's an inheritance) and that you happen to be oh so good looking is a bunch of faux modesty. The fact that you think these things somehow convey something of importance about you--and that you share nothing of your values, interests, life experiences--is also telling.

While a list of attributes on an anonymous message board surely cannot convey the intricacies of a person, the story you construct about yourself sounds a hell of a lot like a well-crafted personal ad. Moreover, it's clear to me that you're not really worried that you're a weirdo. You are seeking out feedback, admiration, positive reinforcement, hoping to elicit exactly the responses you are mostly getting (wow, such an interesting, deep, soulful type--why is he done?). But carefully constructed self-image in need of constant reinforcement, even from strangers, is a total turn-off. Dating someone like that is exhausting and pointless--there's no room for anyone else.

+1

[Anonymous]

You're gay or you should date women 5-10 years older than you. "Alternative" is the mish-mash of punk, art fag (and I use that term both lovingly and historically), and hippy that we in our early 40s spawned and love!

[Anonymous]

Honestly? Alternative music and a lover of scotch? You sound pretty much like every other mid-thirties man I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:30something guy best described as follows:
Loves: border collies, vintage porsche restoration, bungalows, skiing, playing the guitar.
has an encyclopedic knowledge of rock and roll sub genres such as punk rock, garage rock, indie rock etc.
Likes to read, cook, run, bike, kayak. Socially liberal, fiscally conservative.
Likes to live relatively simply, not into social climbing.

Ideal vacation is 2 weeks on Martha's Vineyard in summer, or up at Stowe Vt in winter.
Relaxing is a glass of laphroig, neat. Whilst laying in a hammock, reading, while Iggy and the Stooges 'raw power' emanates from the record player. Or perhaps adjusting the valves in my 84 Carrera with a cold beer.

I feel like I am out of step with my generation.
Not trolling for sympathy. I just feel too straight for the freaks and too weird for normal people. It has been like this all my life. The captain of my high school baseball team called me 'alternative (first name)'.

What happens to people like me? Do we find love? Fulfillment?

I am sitting here, looking at my 13 year old border collie who is slowing down, wondering what I'm gonna do when he is gone.
Sigh.

Normal. VERY normal. Consider: I love dogs, have a place on Cape Cod, play guitar, fiscally conservative/socially "don't do it on my lawn, I won't do it on yours". Love old cars, anything vintage actually. Hate social climbing.

Female - older than you and married, but the women are out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No I just meant sometimes I really want to make a difference (positively) & other times I just don't care. Not trying to be deep. Weird posting = typing on an iPhone.

friends who are brutally honest? They think I should be nailing all of the women I work with / at my gym...and that confidence is my issue.

I spent a long time in a (codependent) relationship with an older woman. It's been really hard since.

Thank you all for the replies.

Your comment was normal - these people just didn't understand it. Which is part of the problem.

I've been here 30 years and have never met a shallower group of people then those that live in the DC area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha. I am not gay.
Older women? Btdt. It gets really hard when the two of you are at really different points of life.

Why older women? Is it bc my attributes are not what stereotypically 'desirable' women ~25-40 find desirable? It's okay, be honest. Bc that's what I'm leaning toward. I am actually pretty good looking. Enough so that in college girls on campus all thought I looked like some soap opera character whose name escapes me.

Job? An okay one. Low six figures. Not getting rich, but that's okay. Family money awaits someday (inheritance). Don't care - would rather have my folks around.

Self esteem? I know I'm great at certain things and generally good at mist things I try. With women? I'm not intimidated, just pretty sure most are interested in other things.

I'm 36. You don't sound weird. You don't sound funny or like you're interested in other people so from your descriptions you're not for me. But every pot has a lid, right? It seems like you look very inward and at your own interests. Like if we took everything you told us about yourself and turned it into a Match.com ad, I'd pass it by because you didn't mention anything about other people that attracts you. And you can't just say I like girls who like New England and beer and Porsches. None of your hobbies seem to invite other people. You didn't say you like discovering new bands with friends or going wine-tasting, or anything. You see?