Is there a polite way to tell someone to stop talking about pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

OP, every time you post, you seem crazier, and I suspect you're sock puppeting. Bottom line, stay out of it!

BTW, I'm actually someone who finds it baffling that anyone would take forever about pregnancy to someone who was not pregnant, the same way I try not to talk about nothing but my kids to someone who does not have kids - it's more about trying to be a good conversationalist and keep people interested than it is about just sharing whatever is on my mind. But of course, I am not going to completely avoid the topics with good friends.

There is no way to politely tell her to stop talking about her pregnancy. However, it sounds like you do not like her. So I repeat my question: why do you continue to have lunch with her? Why does your "infertile friend" put up with it if she is on the verge of tears at all times? Does this woman have incriminating photos of you or something?

[Anonymous]

She was really fun before the pregnancy thing. Hopefully she goes back to her fun self after the baby arrives.

Why the vitriol?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was really fun before the pregnancy thing. Hopefully she goes back to her fun self after the baby arrives.

Why the vitriol?

Because you seem really mean, not just to her, but to other posters. You seem like you like drama a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was really fun before the pregnancy thing. Hopefully she goes back to her fun self after the baby arrives.

Why the vitriol?

Because you seem really mean, not just to her, but to other posters. You seem like you like drama a lot.

Where was I mean to other posters other than the one who was mean to me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow OP. looks like you hit a nerve with some of these ladies who loved to share every last detail of their pregnancies with their bored colleagues!! I can't believe the rude responses you are getting.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take one for the other coworker and lie. I'd say to Pregnant Woman, "Actually, I don't want to broadcast this, but recently suffered a miscarriage, and while I'm ecstatic for you, would REALLY appreciate if you didn't constantly bring up your pregnancy in EVERY conversation. It really makes my heart sink. Ordinarily I wouldn't have said anything, but it's entirely possible other people are going through reproductive struggles also, and may feel the same way but not want to tell you."

Or I'd leave an anon printed doc on her chair while she's peeing now that she's pregnant, that says it.

This is a good idea. Thanks!

Oh no, OP. Please don't take this advice. It is well intentioned but dishonest if you never had a miscarriage. Certainly not something you want to lie about when there are so many more honest ways to handle to situation.
And I speak as someone who has been in all three situations---miscarriages, infertility, pregnancy.
Please do consider some of the other suggestions made on this board such as telling your friend that the other friend is troubled by all of the pregnancy talk, the redirection, or the suggestion of including your friend in a solution in helping the other friend feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take one for the other coworker and lie. I'd say to Pregnant Woman, "Actually, I don't want to broadcast this, but recently suffered a miscarriage, and while I'm ecstatic for you, would REALLY appreciate if you didn't constantly bring up your pregnancy in EVERY conversation. It really makes my heart sink. Ordinarily I wouldn't have said anything, but it's entirely possible other people are going through reproductive struggles also, and may feel the same way but not want to tell you."

Or I'd leave an anon printed doc on her chair while she's peeing now that she's pregnant, that says it.

This is a good idea. Thanks!

Oh no, OP. Please don't take this advice. It is well intentioned but dishonest if you never had a miscarriage. Certainly not something you want to lie about when there are so many more honest ways to handle to situation.
And I speak as someone who has been in all three situations---miscarriages, infertility, pregnancy.
Please do consider some of the other suggestions made on this board such as telling your friend that the other friend is troubled by all of the pregnancy talk, the redirection, or the suggestion of including your friend in a solution in helping the other friend feel better.

I have had one, just not recently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take one for the other coworker and lie. I'd say to Pregnant Woman, "Actually, I don't want to broadcast this, but recently suffered a miscarriage, and while I'm ecstatic for you, would REALLY appreciate if you didn't constantly bring up your pregnancy in EVERY conversation. It really makes my heart sink. Ordinarily I wouldn't have said anything, but it's entirely possible other people are going through reproductive struggles also, and may feel the same way but not want to tell you."

Or I'd leave an anon printed doc on her chair while she's peeing now that she's pregnant, that says it.

This is a good idea. Thanks!

Oh no, OP. Please don't take this advice. It is well intentioned but dishonest if you never had a miscarriage. Certainly not something you want to lie about when there are so many more honest ways to handle to situation.
And I speak as someone who has been in all three situations---miscarriages, infertility, pregnancy.
Please do consider some of the other suggestions made on this board such as telling your friend that the other friend is troubled by all of the pregnancy talk, the redirection, or the suggestion of including your friend in a solution in helping the other friend feel better.

I'ts also passive aggressive, cowardly, and shitty. I'm not in favor of you telling this person to talk about her pregnancy less, but leaving an anonymous note is a much worse idea. If you're going to end the friendship, do it in person. Leaving a note will end the friendship. She'll figure out who it was, and if she doesn't, then she will be very upset wondering who would be so mean and rude and nasty to leave such a note. What's wrong with you, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take one for the other coworker and lie. I'd say to Pregnant Woman, "Actually, I don't want to broadcast this, but recently suffered a miscarriage, and while I'm ecstatic for you, would REALLY appreciate if you didn't constantly bring up your pregnancy in EVERY conversation. It really makes my heart sink. Ordinarily I wouldn't have said anything, but it's entirely possible other people are going through reproductive struggles also, and may feel the same way but not want to tell you."

Or I'd leave an anon printed doc on her chair while she's peeing now that she's pregnant, that says it.

This is a good idea. Thanks!

Oh no, OP. Please don't take this advice. It is well intentioned but dishonest if you never had a miscarriage. Certainly not something you want to lie about when there are so many more honest ways to handle to situation.
And I speak as someone who has been in all three situations---miscarriages, infertility, pregnancy.
Please do consider some of the other suggestions made on this board such as telling your friend that the other friend is troubled by all of the pregnancy talk, the redirection, or the suggestion of including your friend in a solution in helping the other friend feel better.

I'ts also passive aggressive, cowardly, and shitty. I'm not in favor of you telling this person to talk about her pregnancy less, but leaving an anonymous note is a much worse idea. If you're going to end the friendship, do it in person. Leaving a note will end the friendship. She'll figure out who it was, and if she doesn't, then she will be very upset wondering who would be so mean and rude and nasty to leave such a note. What's wrong with you, OP?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take one for the other coworker and lie. I'd say to Pregnant Woman, "Actually, I don't want to broadcast this, but recently suffered a miscarriage, and while I'm ecstatic for you, would REALLY appreciate if you didn't constantly bring up your pregnancy in EVERY conversation. It really makes my heart sink. Ordinarily I wouldn't have said anything, but it's entirely possible other people are going through reproductive struggles also, and may feel the same way but not want to tell you."

Or I'd leave an anon printed doc on her chair while she's peeing now that she's pregnant, that says it.

This is a good idea. Thanks!

Oh no, OP. Please don't take this advice. It is well intentioned but dishonest if you never had a miscarriage. Certainly not something you want to lie about when there are so many more honest ways to handle to situation.
And I speak as someone who has been in all three situations---miscarriages, infertility, pregnancy.
Please do consider some of the other suggestions made on this board such as telling your friend that the other friend is troubled by all of the pregnancy talk, the redirection, or the suggestion of including your friend in a solution in helping the other friend feel better.

I'ts also passive aggressive, cowardly, and shitty. I'm not in favor of you telling this person to talk about her pregnancy less, but leaving an anonymous note is a much worse idea. If you're going to end the friendship, do it in person. Leaving a note will end the friendship. She'll figure out who it was, and if she doesn't, then she will be very upset wondering who would be so mean and rude and nasty to leave such a note. What's wrong with you, OP?

I am not going to leave a note. I am going to tell her in person that I had a m/c (which I true) and am a little sensitive to all the baby talk.

[Anonymous]

But are you sensitive to the baby talk because of your miscarriage? If so, then speak with her. If not, then why not just handle this in a more honest way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take one for the other coworker and lie. I'd say to Pregnant Woman, "Actually, I don't want to broadcast this, but recently suffered a miscarriage, and while I'm ecstatic for you, would REALLY appreciate if you didn't constantly bring up your pregnancy in EVERY conversation. It really makes my heart sink. Ordinarily I wouldn't have said anything, but it's entirely possible other people are going through reproductive struggles also, and may feel the same way but not want to tell you."

Or I'd leave an anon printed doc on her chair while she's peeing now that she's pregnant, that says it.

This is a good idea. Thanks!

Oh no, OP. Please don't take this advice. It is well intentioned but dishonest if you never had a miscarriage. Certainly not something you want to lie about when there are so many more honest ways to handle to situation.
And I speak as someone who has been in all three situations---miscarriages, infertility, pregnancy.
Please do consider some of the other suggestions made on this board such as telling your friend that the other friend is troubled by all of the pregnancy talk, the redirection, or the suggestion of including your friend in a solution in helping the other friend feel better.

I'ts also passive aggressive, cowardly, and shitty. I'm not in favor of you telling this person to talk about her pregnancy less, but leaving an anonymous note is a much worse idea. If you're going to end the friendship, do it in person. Leaving a note will end the friendship. She'll figure out who it was, and if she doesn't, then she will be very upset wondering who would be so mean and rude and nasty to leave such a note. What's wrong with you, OP?

I am not going to leave a note. I am going to tell her in person that I had a m/c (which I true) and am a little sensitive to all the baby talk.

Meh, do what you want. I hope she decides there are nicer people to have lunch with. You sound like a pill.

[Anonymous]

"She was really fun before the pregnancy thing. Hopefully she goes back to her fun self after the baby arrives. "

Unlikely. She likes the attention. Why would she stop?

Infertile friend needs to step up and nip this shit in the bud!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"She was really fun before the pregnancy thing. Hopefully she goes back to her fun self after the baby arrives. "

Unlikely. She likes the attention. Why would she stop?

Infertile friend needs to step up and nip this shit in the bud!

She didn't used to be like this and she already has a child. There is hope!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a person who has struggled to have a healthy pregnancy in the past, nothing was more heartbreaking than hearing other women talking incessantly about their happy healthy pregnancies.

You are a good friend for noticing your infertile friend's distress. I would take the clueless friend to the side and let her know that it's insensitive to talk so much about her pregnancy since she doesn't know other people's situations in the office. There be others struggling with infertility who would appreciate her keeping her big mouth shut as well.

Why don't the infertile women be direct and ask the chatty pregnant women to tone it down? Why the need for a third party?

The infertile women is using a lot of energy to be polite when really it is killing her. I have seen those tears well up. I know it is not the end of the world to be infertile but only an idiot would keep up the chatty Cathy about her pregnancy in that situation. I still think Chatty is enjoying the drama.