Is there a polite way to tell someone to stop talking about pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

I work with a woman who is sweet but a little clueless. She talks incessantly about her pregnancy (not even a first pregnancy). Non-stop. If it was just that, I would kind of roll my eyes and move on. However, there is another woman at work who has been going through fertility treatments for years, had a failed adoption and has recently decided to take a break from it all. Pregnant woman does not know about this and other woman doesn't want to broadcast it. Other woman obviously feels upset that pregnant woman prattles on and on. How can I get pregnant woman to be quiet without outing other woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work with a woman who is sweet but a little clueless. She talks incessantly about her pregnancy (not even a first pregnancy). Non-stop. If it was just that, I would kind of roll my eyes and move on. However, there is another woman at work who has been going through fertility treatments for years, had a failed adoption and has recently decided to take a break from it all. Pregnant woman does not know about this and other woman doesn't want to broadcast it. Other woman obviously feels upset that pregnant woman prattles on and on. How can I get pregnant woman to be quiet without outing other woman?

What is she prattling on about? Pregnancy symptoms? Nursery decorating? If you are in the conversation with her and the other woman, I would just try to steer the conversation away.
E.g.:
Pregnant woman: "Wow, I can't believe how bloated I feel this time around. Can you believe it?"
You: "Yeah, that must be terrible. So...last night DH and I watched the first episode of Downton Abby. Can you believe I've waited this long to watch it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work with a woman who is sweet but a little clueless. She talks incessantly about her pregnancy (not even a first pregnancy). Non-stop. If it was just that, I would kind of roll my eyes and move on. However, there is another woman at work who has been going through fertility treatments for years, had a failed adoption and has recently decided to take a break from it all. Pregnant woman does not know about this and other woman doesn't want to broadcast it. Other woman obviously feels upset that pregnant woman prattles on and on. How can I get pregnant woman to be quiet without outing other woman?

What is she prattling on about? Pregnancy symptoms? Nursery decorating? If you are in the conversation with her and the other woman, I would just try to steer the conversation away.
E.g.:
Pregnant woman: "Wow, I can't believe how bloated I feel this time around. Can you believe it?"
You: "Yeah, that must be terrible. So...last night DH and I watched the first episode of Downton Abby. Can you believe I've waited this long to watch it?

Everything. How hot it is outside now that she is pregnant. How she has to skip the cheese on her salad now that she is pregnant. How none of her clothes fit now that she is pregnant. She manages to steer everything back to her pregnancy. I try to change the topic, but she is relentless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work with a woman who is sweet but a little clueless. She talks incessantly about her pregnancy (not even a first pregnancy). Non-stop. If it was just that, I would kind of roll my eyes and move on. However, there is another woman at work who has been going through fertility treatments for years, had a failed adoption and has recently decided to take a break from it all. Pregnant woman does not know about this and other woman doesn't want to broadcast it. Other woman obviously feels upset that pregnant woman prattles on and on. How can I get pregnant woman to be quiet without outing other woman?

What is she prattling on about? Pregnancy symptoms? Nursery decorating? If you are in the conversation with her and the other woman, I would just try to steer the conversation away.
E.g.:
Pregnant woman: "Wow, I can't believe how bloated I feel this time around. Can you believe it?"
You: "Yeah, that must be terrible. So...last night DH and I watched the first episode of Downton Abby. Can you believe I've waited this long to watch it?

Exactly this. Just change the subject. Have a couple of topics to randomly insert such as the weather, your bunions and how the Nats are doing.

[Anonymous]

Hmm I suffered from infertility for years before getting pregnant. I didn't have to deal with that situation but I can't imagine how you could ask her not to talk about it so much without things getting awkward. You probably have to do it indirectly. Maybe change the subject after a few minutes or just talk less to her in general. She shouldn't be made to feel bad and yeah you don't want to out the other woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work with a woman who is sweet but a little clueless. She talks incessantly about her pregnancy (not even a first pregnancy). Non-stop. If it was just that, I would kind of roll my eyes and move on. However, there is another woman at work who has been going through fertility treatments for years, had a failed adoption and has recently decided to take a break from it all. Pregnant woman does not know about this and other woman doesn't want to broadcast it. Other woman obviously feels upset that pregnant woman prattles on and on. How can I get pregnant woman to be quiet without outing other woman?

What is she prattling on about? Pregnancy symptoms? Nursery decorating? If you are in the conversation with her and the other woman, I would just try to steer the conversation away.
E.g.:
Pregnant woman: "Wow, I can't believe how bloated I feel this time around. Can you believe it?"
You: "Yeah, that must be terrible. So...last night DH and I watched the first episode of Downton Abby. Can you believe I've waited this long to watch it?

Everything. How hot it is outside now that she is pregnant. How she has to skip the cheese on her salad now that she is pregnant. How none of her clothes fit now that she is pregnant. She manages to steer everything back to her pregnancy. I try to change the topic, but she is relentless.

Then just stop talking. Literally, stop talking. Give no response. Just look at her. Let the silence do the heavy lifting.

[Anonymous]

I have tried to talk to her first so that she can get the pregnancy talk out of the way, but that has not really worked. Maybe I will just go silent. Will that be really weird?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work with a woman who is sweet but a little clueless. She talks incessantly about her pregnancy (not even a first pregnancy). Non-stop. If it was just that, I would kind of roll my eyes and move on. However, there is another woman at work who has been going through fertility treatments for years, had a failed adoption and has recently decided to take a break from it all. Pregnant woman does not know about this and other woman doesn't want to broadcast it. Other woman obviously feels upset that pregnant woman prattles on and on. How can I get pregnant woman to be quiet without outing other woman?

What is she prattling on about? Pregnancy symptoms? Nursery decorating? If you are in the conversation with her and the other woman, I would just try to steer the conversation away.
E.g.:
Pregnant woman: "Wow, I can't believe how bloated I feel this time around. Can you believe it?"
You: "Yeah, that must be terrible. So...last night DH and I watched the first episode of Downton Abby. Can you believe I've waited this long to watch it?

Everything. How hot it is outside now that she is pregnant. How she has to skip the cheese on her salad now that she is pregnant. How none of her clothes fit now that she is pregnant. She manages to steer everything back to her pregnancy. I try to change the topic, but she is relentless.

Then just stop talking. Literally, stop talking. Give no response. Just look at her. Let the silence do the heavy lifting.

Yeah this. Even if there was no infertile woman around, it's rude to only talk about yourself and one topic. Gets boring. Let her know by ignoring.

[Anonymous]

Who has these jobs where they apparently SO much time to talk that they can talk about one topic constantly and how do I get one?

[Anonymous]

Why are you trying to referee the interaction between these two coworkers? In my experience, that never goes well. Let your infertile coworker make her own decisions and let your pregnant coworker do the same. It'll be way more awkward if you insert yourself in the middle of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who has these jobs where they apparently SO much time to talk that they can talk about one topic constantly and how do I get one?

We eat lunch together every day.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you've tried most of the polite and sublte hints and she's not getting it. Can you try to avoid her? I worked with someone like this. I would literally duck behind the office cubicle furniture if I saw her coming.

[Anonymous]

There are people I don't enjoy talking to at work about anything - I literally just play like I am super busy everytime they come by - oh that is so interesting - gotta get back to this spreadsheet! I think I would distance myself - honestly, this doesn't sound like someone you want anything more than a professional relationship with anyway - who wants to talk about their pregnancy 24/7?!? I look forward to work to distract myself from my monstrosity! h

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you trying to referee the interaction between these two coworkers? In my experience, that never goes well. Let your infertile coworker make her own decisions and let your pregnant coworker do the same. It'll be way more awkward if you insert yourself in the middle of it.

Because infertile friend has told me how much it upsets her. She looks like she is about to cry every time pregnant friend says anything. Maybe I should just be quiet, but I really feel for infertile friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who has these jobs where they apparently SO much time to talk that they can talk about one topic constantly and how do I get one?

We eat lunch together every day.

Stop having lunch with her every day. Say you want to work out at lunch. Say you have errands. Say you're going home to walk a friend's dog at lunch. Just break the habit.