Is there a polite way to tell someone to stop talking about pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

OP it sounds like you enjoy drama. Leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

If you've tried diverting the conversation several times and she keeps circling around, just say something like "I'm sorry that you're having a difficult pregnancy, but could we please talk about something else."

You have an obligation to be polite and divert the conversation, once or twice. After that, if the person will not be diverted, then you need to be more forward to get her to stop a topic of conversation that is making someone in the group uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

just reference this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJRzBpFjJS8

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP it sounds like you enjoy drama. Leave it alone.

In what way?

[Anonymous]

I sympathize - it took years for me to have children, I was very private about it and it was painful to be around pregnant women or babies. Now I am pregnant with number three and much as I adore my children I am sometimes somewhat nostalgic for my child-free days.

Some people do become very self-absorbed when they are pregnant or going through another major life event (weddings, etc). You could try saying simply to pregnant friend when she complains about X pregnancy-related issue "Yes, there are advantages to being child-free" then smoothly change the subject to something else non-pregnancy/baby related. If she's at all self-aware or aware of others she will pick up on this... if not the first time then the second or third time. It may be hard for your other friend (IF) to say this at first but hopefully she will be able to say it in a lighthearted way after a while. My experience was that it was much easier socially to pretend that I was completely uninterested in having children than to let others know that I wanted children.

To be nice to your pregnant friend when you first see her you could ask her (preferably when it's just the two of you but it's also something your IF will have to accept is part of life) how she's feeling, listen for a couple of minutes, then change the subject. Hard to tread a delicate line between these two extremes but a small amount of pregnancy/baby talk should be okay - not talking about it at all would be as weird as talking about it all the time.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having gone through the awful pain of infertility, I would have a hard time with that lunch. Pregnant friend knows that she is hurting the other. It is called lording it over. I well remember those "clueless ones" No one is that clueless. How many more months? then there will be the baby. Perhaps you could just say, sorry Suzie, pregnancy talk is making me nauseous? It is very presumptuous for a pregnant woman to talk on and on to others who are not in the same state. Unless it is your mother, who will then say. Suzie, shut up.

You need to look up definition of "ptesumptuous."

pre·sump·tu·ous
Adjective (of a person or their behavior) Failing to observe the limits of what is permitted or appropriate.

[Anonymous]

OP, politely pull the woman aside and tell her that somebody in the office is having a hard time ttc and could she please lay off the pregnancy-talk. I was never so talkative like that, but so many coworkers consistently asked me about my pregnancy, that I think I did talk about it a lot. If anybody ever told me that I needed to lay off, I would have. Personally I had fertility issues, so I would understand completely.

I had one coworker who was completely insensitive about these issues. Total idiot. But give your pregnant coworker the benefit of the doubt and talk to her. She may be happy to oblige. No harm no foul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pregnant women who go on about every detail of their pregmancy are boring and infertile women who are jealous are annoying and you should feel free to move on and talk with someone else.

YES.

Pregnant women- nobody cares that much. Seriously. Talk about something else.

Infertile women- I know it sucks. But the world does not revolve around you and everyone expecting a child should not have to tamper their excitement just for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having gone through the awful pain of infertility, I would have a hard time with that lunch. Pregnant friend knows that she is hurting the other. It is called lording it over. I well remember those "clueless ones" No one is that clueless. How many more months? then there will be the baby. Perhaps you could just say, sorry Suzie, pregnancy talk is making me nauseous? It is very presumptuous for a pregnant woman to talk on and on to others who are not in the same state. Unless it is your mother, who will then say. Suzie, shut up.

You need to look up definition of "ptesumptuous."

pre·sump·tu·ous
Adjective (of a person or their behavior) Failing to observe the limits of what is permitted or appropriate.

It is not appropriate for you to try to make a pregnant woman feel guilty because she is able have achild judt bevause you van't. Only you give a damn about your empty womb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having gone through the awful pain of infertility, I would have a hard time with that lunch. Pregnant friend knows that she is hurting the other. It is called lording it over. I well remember those "clueless ones" No one is that clueless. How many more months? then there will be the baby. Perhaps you could just say, sorry Suzie, pregnancy talk is making me nauseous? It is very presumptuous for a pregnant woman to talk on and on to others who are not in the same state. Unless it is your mother, who will then say. Suzie, shut up.

You need to look up definition of "ptesumptuous."

pre·sump·tu·ous
Adjective (of a person or their behavior) Failing to observe the limits of what is permitted or appropriate.

It is not appropriate for you to try to make a pregnant woman feel guilty because she is able have achild judt bevause you van't. Only you give a damn about your empty womb.

I know you talked everyone's ear right off when you were pregnant, but that does not make it right. Or interesting. Or appropriate. People indulge little children -- even when they are grown up.

[Anonymous]

As a person who has struggled to have a healthy pregnancy in the past, nothing was more heartbreaking than hearing other women talking incessantly about their happy healthy pregnancies.

You are a good friend for noticing your infertile friend's distress. I would take the clueless friend to the side and let her know that it's insensitive to talk so much about her pregnancy since she doesn't know other people's situations in the office. There be others struggling with infertility who would appreciate her keeping her big mouth shut as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a person who has struggled to have a healthy pregnancy in the past, nothing was more heartbreaking than hearing other women talking incessantly about their happy healthy pregnancies.

You are a good friend for noticing your infertile friend's distress. I would take the clueless friend to the side and let her know that it's insensitive to talk so much about her pregnancy since she doesn't know other people's situations in the office. There be others struggling with infertility who would appreciate her keeping her big mouth shut as well.

Why don't the infertile women be direct and ask the chatty pregnant women to tone it down? Why the need for a third party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a person who has struggled to have a healthy pregnancy in the past, nothing was more heartbreaking than hearing other women talking incessantly about their happy healthy pregnancies.

You are a good friend for noticing your infertile friend's distress. I would take the clueless friend to the side and let her know that it's insensitive to talk so much about her pregnancy since she doesn't know other people's situations in the office. There be others struggling with infertility who would appreciate her keeping her big mouth shut as well.

Why don't the infertile women be direct and ask the chatty pregnant women to tone it down? Why the need for a third party?

It's a very difficult and emotional situation and hard enough to keep your emotions together much less try to encourage sensitivity in others. It's not only women struggling with infertility but those like me who have terminations of very wanted pregnancies due to fetal medical conditions.
This "third party" has asked how she can be helpful and I appreciate that effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you trying to referee the interaction between these two coworkers? In my experience, that never goes well. Let your infertile coworker make her own decisions and let your pregnant coworker do the same. It'll be way more awkward if you insert yourself in the middle of it.

Because infertile friend has told me how much it upsets her. She looks like she is about to cry every time pregnant friend says anything. Maybe I should just be quiet, but I really feel for infertile friend.

If you guys are friends then maybe a gentle approach like, "It's gotta be so hard for X with so many happy pregnancies like yours this summer and then all the media over the royal baby. I wonder if there's anything we could do to help make her feel better. What do you think?" Then let Y kick out somme ideas. Applaud those ideas and then add "Great! These plus maybe going a bit easy on the baby talk will probably really help X soooo much. Thanks for helping!"

[Anonymous]

Have you actually asked the woman with fertility issues if this bothers her? If you are just assuming I would butt out. You seem like you have a little too much time on your hands.