Summers for Middle Schoolers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread shows how sad this generation is. I would have hated getting up early and going to camps all day every day in the summer. Have their every moment planned. Are kids not allowed to goof off and have a fun summer anymore? Sleep away camps all summer? UGH! Might as well send them to boarding school too. Does anyone spend time with their kids anymore? Does anyone allow their teens to be responsible and learn anything but sports, electronics and academics.

OP, can't you and DH take some days off at different times to do fun things. Can't you let him learn how to do stuff around the house and be on his own sometimes. Do "Manly" things? Set up a few times friends can come over. Not every teen in the DC metro has activities planned 12hrs a day.

Can't you see that this depends on the kid? Or do you think all kids are exactly like you were as a kid... Why not trust that this mom knows what is best for her kid? Or you are like some omnipotent god that knows what is best even for people you have never met, and what is best just turns out to be exactly the same for everybody?

[Anonymous]

I don't have a 13 year old yet... so this is my untested opinion... but I understand OP's concern of 4 completely unscheduled weeks. I also understand the thought that at 13 he should be able to self-entertain. (Lots of girl 13 year olds used to watch other people's kids ALL summer.) I don't really think 4 weeks is unreasonably long given that there are weekends in between. But, I think OP might be more comfortable with the 4 weeks if she and the child set up some semi-fun chores to accomplish so that it isn't just a completely unscheduled time. That can be a little daunting (even though I believe he would do fine with it). For instance, OP could you make a list of things you "need" the young man to do? (Monday -- bake a cake. Tues. wash the windows with windex, Wed. take care of the laundry, Thurs. mow the lawn, Fri. bike down to the nearest RedBox and get a movie, Monday put new bookshelf together, Tues. pick out 5 pictures from the photos (on the family camera or on the harddrive) to enlarge and order, Wed. sort the junk drawer, etc. Give the kid ONE thing to accomplish during the day. You and husband and the boy's mom will check in during the day and the rest of the time he can read or text or watch tv. I think it is do-able if you add just a little structure so he has something to accomplish every day. Plus, it gives him the opportunity to be responsible and contributing to the efficiency of the family. That's a milestone for sure.

[Anonymous]

That is why summers are boring now. Parents work 40-50hrs a week and neighborhoods are ghost towns with kids going to structured events all summer long. Might as well send them to school all year long. I agree with other posters. Kids these days have sad childhoods.

[Anonymous]

OP, if every one of his friends is unavailable during those four weeks, ask them what they are doing. He can go to their camp/activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a 13 year old yet... so this is my untested opinion... but I understand OP's concern of 4 completely unscheduled weeks. I also understand the thought that at 13 he should be able to self-entertain. (Lots of girl 13 year olds used to watch other people's kids ALL summer.) I don't really think 4 weeks is unreasonably long given that there are weekends in between. But, I think OP might be more comfortable with the 4 weeks if she and the child set up some semi-fun chores to accomplish so that it isn't just a completely unscheduled time. That can be a little daunting (even though I believe he would do fine with it). For instance, OP could you make a list of things you "need" the young man to do? (Monday -- bake a cake. Tues. wash the windows with windex, Wed. take care of the laundry, Thurs. mow the lawn, Fri. bike down to the nearest RedBox and get a movie, Monday put new bookshelf together, Tues. pick out 5 pictures from the photos (on the family camera or on the harddrive) to enlarge and order, Wed. sort the junk drawer, etc. Give the kid ONE thing to accomplish during the day. You and husband and the boy's mom will check in during the day and the rest of the time he can read or text or watch tv. I think it is do-able if you add just a little structure so he has something to accomplish every day. Plus, it gives him the opportunity to be responsible and contributing to the efficiency of the family. That's a milestone for sure.

Watching other people's kids is not unstructured. If you are watching other people's kids all summer long, you have a very structured and not-at-all lonely summer.

If I assigned my kid chores to do while I was at work, they would not get done. It would just lead to us fighting all summer. I don't see what is wrong with camps, especially very unstructured camps. The kid gets some freedom from their nagging, hyper parents. In these days of hyper parenting, isn't that the best freedom? And of course unstructured summers I think only occured from 1950 to about 1990. Before 1950, the kids worked very very hard all summer long doing farm chores supervised by their parents and farm hands. Before 1950, the vast majority of all people lived on family farms. There is no way back to that world. And no way back the 1950-1990 golden era either (although that era did produce some amazingly self-centered adults, so maybe those lazy summers were not such a great thing...)

[Anonymous]

There are "farm camps" specifically for this age group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a 13 year old yet... so this is my untested opinion... but I understand OP's concern of 4 completely unscheduled weeks. I also understand the thought that at 13 he should be able to self-entertain. (Lots of girl 13 year olds used to watch other people's kids ALL summer.) I don't really think 4 weeks is unreasonably long given that there are weekends in between. But, I think OP might be more comfortable with the 4 weeks if she and the child set up some semi-fun chores to accomplish so that it isn't just a completely unscheduled time. That can be a little daunting (even though I believe he would do fine with it). For instance, OP could you make a list of things you "need" the young man to do? (Monday -- bake a cake. Tues. wash the windows with windex, Wed. take care of the laundry, Thurs. mow the lawn, Fri. bike down to the nearest RedBox and get a movie, Monday put new bookshelf together, Tues. pick out 5 pictures from the photos (on the family camera or on the harddrive) to enlarge and order, Wed. sort the junk drawer, etc. Give the kid ONE thing to accomplish during the day. You and husband and the boy's mom will check in during the day and the rest of the time he can read or text or watch tv. I think it is do-able if you add just a little structure so he has something to accomplish every day. Plus, it gives him the opportunity to be responsible and contributing to the efficiency of the family. That's a milestone for sure.

Watching other people's kids is not unstructured. If you are watching other people's kids all summer long, you have a very structured and not-at-all lonely summer.

If I assigned my kid chores to do while I was at work, they would not get done. It would just lead to us fighting all summer. I don't see what is wrong with camps, especially very unstructured camps. The kid gets some freedom from their nagging, hyper parents. In these days of hyper parenting, isn't that the best freedom? And of course unstructured summers I think only occured from 1950 to about 1990. Before 1950, the kids worked very very hard all summer long doing farm chores supervised by their parents and farm hands. Before 1950, the vast majority of all people lived on family farms. There is no way back to that world. And no way back the 1950-1990 golden era either (although that era did produce some amazingly self-centered adults, so maybe those lazy summers were not such a great thing...)

I think the chores would only work if the kid is begging to be left home alone all summer, and the parent has the ability to make alternate arrangements on short notice. Then the parent can use the chores for bargaining: do this to demonstrate you are responsible enough to stay home alone or you'll go stay with aunt Jane, go to camp, go to the office with me, etc. If this is not your situation, dropping the kid off at a pool, mall, the Smithsonian, etc. on your way to work (preferably with a friend) would work much better.

[Anonymous]

I don't live n the burbs, OP, but my DS has got 4 weeks in Leader-In-Training at a local daycamp. If one of you are heading towards the city for work, look for a day camp enroute that can use him. It's good training.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't live n the burbs, OP, but my DS has got 4 weeks in Leader-In-Training at a local daycamp. If one of you are heading towards the city for work, look for a day camp enroute that can use him. It's good training.

I think it's sad that everyone is in such a rush to make kids grow up so fast. "Get them working." "It's good training." I don't know about your kid, but mine is out the door early for school 5 days a week, plays sports after school, is up late doing homework, and spends lots of weekends doing team sports. We are running all school year. Over the summer there is summer reading for the next year. He loves being on teams, but it's alot. I think there is a push to make kids grow up and start working v young. There's no time to relax over the summer and have fun being a kid. The rest of his life is for working. By the time he starts high school he will have a summer job. Isn't middle school a little young to be scheduling his life with one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't live n the burbs, OP, but my DS has got 4 weeks in Leader-In-Training at a local daycamp. If one of you are heading towards the city for work, look for a day camp enroute that can use him. It's good training.

I think it's sad that everyone is in such a rush to make kids grow up so fast. "Get them working." "It's good training." I don't know about your kid, but mine is out the door early for school 5 days a week, plays sports after school, is up late doing homework, and spends lots of weekends doing team sports. We are running all school year. Over the summer there is summer reading for the next year. He loves being on teams, but it's alot. I think there is a push to make kids grow up and start working v young. There's no time to relax over the summer and have fun being a kid. The rest of his life is for working. By the time he starts high school he will have a summer job. Isn't middle school a little young to be scheduling his life with one?

I guess I'm selfish, but I'm not ready to give up my job so my kid can have a lazy summer. I don't think camp is that bad. And we don't live in the country. Lazy summers at the fishing hole just don't work inside the belt way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What weeks is he going? DS is at summer camps all summer right up to school starting. (Sleep away)

How sad, don't you take any vacation time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't live n the burbs, OP, but my DS has got 4 weeks in Leader-In-Training at a local daycamp. If one of you are heading towards the city for work, look for a day camp enroute that can use him. It's good training.

I think it's sad that everyone is in such a rush to make kids grow up so fast. "Get them working." "It's good training." I don't know about your kid, but mine is out the door early for school 5 days a week, plays sports after school, is up late doing homework, and spends lots of weekends doing team sports. We are running all school year. Over the summer there is summer reading for the next year. He loves being on teams, but it's alot. I think there is a push to make kids grow up and start working v young. There's no time to relax over the summer and have fun being a kid. The rest of his life is for working. By the time he starts high school he will have a summer job. Isn't middle school a little young to be scheduling his life with one?

I guess I'm selfish, but I'm not ready to give up my job so my kid can have a lazy summer. I don't think camp is that bad. And we don't live in the country. Lazy summers at the fishing hole just don't work inside the belt way.

Yes you are selfish. Parents are selfish. Overscheduling and high expectations yet they never spend any quality time with their kids to let them be kids. Sorry but it is selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What weeks is he going? DS is at summer camps all summer right up to school starting. (Sleep away)

How sad, don't you take any vacation time?

I know families who do this so the parents can go on 2-3 week vacations WITHOUT the kids. Remember, the kids are a burden. If you busy them up enough, they won't bother you and you will barely have to parent them. Then the complain to the school or summer camp if their kid acts up. It isn't their fault as parents, it is the camp? Right.

[Anonymous]

Year round school with breaks would be preferable to the current system. What is the point of 10 straight weeks? Why not have 4 breaks of 3 weeks each?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't live n the burbs, OP, but my DS has got 4 weeks in Leader-In-Training at a local daycamp. If one of you are heading towards the city for work, look for a day camp enroute that can use him. It's good training.

I think it's sad that everyone is in such a rush to make kids grow up so fast. "Get them working." "It's good training." I don't know about your kid, but mine is out the door early for school 5 days a week, plays sports after school, is up late doing homework, and spends lots of weekends doing team sports. We are running all school year. Over the summer there is summer reading for the next year. He loves being on teams, but it's alot. I think there is a push to make kids grow up and start working v young. There's no time to relax over the summer and have fun being a kid. The rest of his life is for working. By the time he starts high school he will have a summer job. Isn't middle school a little young to be scheduling his life with one?

I guess I'm selfish, but I'm not ready to give up my job so my kid can have a lazy summer. I don't think camp is that bad. And we don't live in the country. Lazy summers at the fishing hole just don't work inside the belt way.

Camp isn't a summer job, as long as he's a CAMPER and not WORKING.