Summers for Middle Schoolers

[Anonymous]

PP referred to "surviving" 20 unsupervised days?!?

For fuck's sake. What are we doing to this generation of kids for whom unstructured, no-pressure, unsupervised time is something to be "survived"?!?

Give the kid the gift of some time to let his mind wander. Figure stuff out. Build something. Dig something. Start a lawn business. Paint some rooms in your house. Refinish some old wooden furniture. Read some books. Masturbate. Think about girls. Get bored. Futz around. Do some chores.

Do him an even bigger favor and turn off wifi.

He'll "survive". He might even expand his mind, set some goals, and figure some shit out.

Give him this gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I think it's actually a bad thing to book up up every hour. A 13 year old should be able to entertain himself at home during working hours for a month. period.

Yeah, but there's a difference between having some free time every day, and having 10 hours a day of solitary time... for 4 weeks. At home, no friends, no transportation. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP referred to "surviving" 20 unsupervised days?!?

For fuck's sake. What are we doing to this generation of kids for whom unstructured, no-pressure, unsupervised time is something to be "survived"?!?

Give the kid the gift of some time to let his mind wander. Figure stuff out. Build something. Dig something. Start a lawn business. Paint some rooms in your house. Refinish some old wooden furniture. Read some books. Masturbate. Think about girls. Get bored. Futz around. Do some chores.

Do him an even bigger favor and turn off wifi.

He'll "survive". He might even expand his mind, set some goals, and figure some shit out.

Give him this gift.

It's really funny that there are people on this forum who don't think they can leave their 12 year old in a car alone... and then people like you who think it is ok for a 13 year old to home alone 10 hours a day, starting a lawn care business and refinishing furniture.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if I would want to leave a 13-year-old alone 10 hours a day for four weeks straight. But if I did, turning off the wifi and cable would be the first requirement. Spending at least two hours a day outside of the house, whether it's on his bike, at the neighborhood pool, or riding the bus to the mall, would be the 2nd.

OP, you never mentioned what the 13-year-old thinks would be fun. Also, does he truly have no friends at all in the neighborhood or reachable by public transport?

I know, I know, public transportation in the suburbs is really bad. But just because it is too inconvenient to make it a practical option for your daily commute, does not mean that a kid with all the time in the world cannot figure out how to use it. Especially if he has a bike to help bridge that "last mile". Bonus -- a little less chauffeuring for you to do for the next three years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I think it's actually a bad thing to book up up every hour. A 13 year old should be able to entertain himself at home during working hours for a month. period.

Yeah, but there's a difference between having some free time every day, and having 10 hours a day of solitary time... for 4 weeks. At home, no friends, no transportation. Period.

There are magical inventions called telephones. Also, legs. And bicycles. Unless the OP lives somewhere where it is impossible to bicycle to a park or a friend's house or on an errand, I still don't see this as a terrible prison sentence. Give him some chores, some reading, and some unstructured time. He'll figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP referred to "surviving" 20 unsupervised days?!?

For fuck's sake. What are we doing to this generation of kids for whom unstructured, no-pressure, unsupervised time is something to be "survived"?!?

Give the kid the gift of some time to let his mind wander. Figure stuff out. Build something. Dig something. Start a lawn business. Paint some rooms in your house. Refinish some old wooden furniture. Read some books. Masturbate. Think about girls. Get bored. Futz around. Do some chores.

Do him an even bigger favor and turn off wifi.

He'll "survive". He might even expand his mind, set some goals, and figure some shit out.

Give him this gift.

Yes, and he and his pals can skip down to the old timey soda fountain and chat with Becky! PP, the 1940's teenager will not return no matter how many times you buy your grandson plaid short sleeved shirts. Bored kids can get into serious, serious trouble these days and it involves more than just 1940 "hijinks".

[Anonymous]

If I let my 14 year old paint a room in our house it would come out looking like a omg, I don't even know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP referred to "surviving" 20 unsupervised days?!?
It's really funny that there are people on this forum who don't think they can leave their 12 year old in a car alone... and then people like you who think it is ok for a 13 year old to home alone 10 hours a day, starting a lawn care business and refinishing furniture.

Ha! I know. I tend more toward the "let them walk to school", "let them get wet", "let them climb the tree even if they end up falling out and breaking an arm; it's better than never climbing a tree" mindset.

I seriously think it's insane that a person wouldn't leave a 12 year old alone in a car while running an errand. We're turning into a nation of scaredy cats (and teaching our kids to be scared of our fellow man) for almost no reason. Yes, there are kidnappers and predators out there, but they are rare, so rare that I would not hesitate to leave my 13 year old alone during the day or allow him to ride his bike in our neighborhood without us at home.

And yes, I think mowing neighbors' lawns and sanding and staining some wood furniture are both completely reasonable activities for a 13 year old to do without direct adult supervision. (Maybe not power tools, but hand sanding is fine.) And yes, it was 20+ years ago since I had a newspaper route, shoveled snow, and mowed neighbors' lawns at age 12, but guess what? The world has gotten SAFER in the last 20 years. Kids are SAFER, statistically. Yet we are treating them like calves to turn into veal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP referred to "surviving" 20 unsupervised days?!?

For fuck's sake. What are we doing to this generation of kids for whom unstructured, no-pressure, unsupervised time is something to be "survived"?!?

Give the kid the gift of some time to let his mind wander. Figure stuff out. Build something. Dig something. Start a lawn business. Paint some rooms in your house. Refinish some old wooden furniture. Read some books. Masturbate. Think about girls. Get bored. Futz around. Do some chores.

Do him an even bigger favor and turn off wifi.

He'll "survive". He might even expand his mind, set some goals, and figure some shit out.

Give him this gift.

Yes, and he and his pals can skip down to the old timey soda fountain and chat with Becky! PP, the 1940's teenager will not return no matter how many times you buy your grandson plaid short sleeved shirts. Bored kids can get into serious, serious trouble these days and it involves more than just 1940 "hijinks".

Oh, please. If leaving your kid alone for 10 hours would make him get into serious trouble, you've already got serious trouble on your hands. The only concern I'd have is leaving a 13 year old with unfettered internet access alone inside for that long - I'd probably have a porn addict on my hands in a couple of weeks. But unless you live in a REALLY bad neighborhood, there is NO more danger to having a kid walk down the street, knock on a neighbor's door, and offer to mow his lawn for $20 than there was 20 years ago or even in the 1940's.

People on DCUM watch too much Law and Order SVU or something. Statistically speaking, it's very safe around here, and there's no reason that 13 year old couldn't spend a few weeks unsupervised at home doing projects, chores, reading, and just hanging out. If he's got a bike, let him ride a bike. Let him explore.

Unstructured, unsupervised time for a teenager should not mean that he's immediately setting fire to your house. If it does, you need more help than summer camp for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I let my 14 year old paint a room in our house it would come out looking like a omg, I don't even know.

Why isn't that ok, unless your house is a show house? Let him paint his own room, maybe. If it came out crappy, he could try again - learn how to put painter's tape down. Learn how to get better at edging and cutting in. That's what being a teenager is for, learning how to function in the world so when he leaves your house at 18, he can be halfway functional!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, and he and his pals can skip down to the old timey soda fountain and chat with Becky! PP, the 1940's teenager will not return no matter how many times you buy your grandson plaid short sleeved shirts. Bored kids can get into serious, serious trouble these days and it involves more than just 1940 "hijinks".

Look, Chicken Little, the sky is not falling. The world is not THAT different than it was 20 or 50 years ago, except "adults" like you are a LOT more scared of people. What kind of trouble is he in danger of getting into "these days" that wasn't a possibility 20 years ago? OR even in the 1940's? (The only exception, as I have mentioned above, is the Internet. I wouldn't give my kid unfettered internet access for that many hours, especially a boy of 13.)

[Anonymous]

We do camp. Left to their own devices (my 12, 13 yo) , they will just sink into pop culture... TV, internet, ect, nothing productive. I do not want them to just interent all day. Things are different than when I was a teen. Yes, I was bored in the summer, and yes, I did things I should not have that I would not like my teens to do. So did many other teens -- it was not the best. Even back then, teens were sent to camp.

[Anonymous]

I believe there are still camps available for this age. Try Rec Centers or educational camps - http://www.fairfaxcollegiate.com/
There is no way I would leave my middle school boy for 10 hours in the house by himself...

[Anonymous]

What does he want to do? If he's got some ideas for why he could occupy himself with at home, other than the Internet, I'd lean toward the unstructured weeks.

[Anonymous]

I spent all summer by myself at that age except for a 2 week sleepaway camp. I would read a ton of books and walk to/from the library for more. I think it was a 45 min walk to get there and 45 mins home. I would bring my backpack. I also babysat neighborhood kids and mowed a few lawns. I walked to the pool which was a 25 min walk. I slept in and watched the Price is Right at 11am while eating breakfast. I would also walk to the racetrack which was a 45 min walk but my mom never knew that. I was horse crazy and I would pay the $2 entrance fee to watch a few races. Those summers were the best! Your child will not wither b/c he has 20 days of unstructured time to himself. If you are worried he will spend all day online, etc, just change the wi-fi password. Maybe you can take off one or two afternoons early and do something he wants to do. I would also ride my bike around different subsections that I had never been to before. My friends would join me. We found a wooded area with a cool stream and mini waterfall once.