Summers for Middle Schoolers

[Anonymous]

So great to see so many free range parents on this thread. Any of you guys have pre-teen-aged kids who might be interested in getting together with my 11-year-old and exploring the neighborhood and the world this summer?

I think with today's "plugged-in" kids, and a culture that tells kids and parents that they are not capable of doing anything on their own and would just get into trouble, finding like-minded parents with kids who have some experience entertaining themselves is key to making "unstructured" time work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So great to see so many free range parents on this thread. Any of you guys have pre-teen-aged kids who might be interested in getting together with my 11-year-old and exploring the neighborhood and the world this summer?

I think with today's "plugged-in" kids, and a culture that tells kids and parents that they are not capable of doing anything on their own and would just get into trouble, finding like-minded parents with kids who have some experience entertaining themselves is key to making "unstructured" time work.

I'm only pregnant yet so my fetus is not quite ready to be free-range, but I sure would love to find other like-minded free range parents once he arrives! Maybe start a Meetup group or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was 13, my parents left me home. I had chores that had to be finished by the time my mom got home, which was 3:30. I also participated in this literacy thing at school where we had to clock in so many hours of reading.

So between the reading and the chores, I was busy enough.

Is it possible that you could give him some basic household chores? Also, maybe if you got a few books and perhaps tied some incentives to reading them, that would give him enough to do.

+1 I think we are related. we got a list every day.

Could he be a mothers helper in your neighborhood or offer to help with smaller jobs for neighbors? I get these types of notices through my listserv a lot. He could pet sit for vacationers or water their gardens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP referred to "surviving" 20 unsupervised days?!?

For fuck's sake. What are we doing to this generation of kids for whom unstructured, no-pressure, unsupervised time is something to be "survived"?!?

Give the kid the gift of some time to let his mind wander. Figure stuff out. Build something. Dig something. Start a lawn business. Paint some rooms in your house. Refinish some old wooden furniture. Read some books. Masturbate. Think about girls. Get bored. Futz around. Do some chores.

Do him an even bigger favor and turn off wifi.

He'll "survive". He might even expand his mind, set some goals, and figure some shit out.

Give him this gift.

+1000 this was awesome! How a summer should be.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the OP. Unstructured time is fine when there is an adult somewhere in the house, maybe doing their own work. It might also be find on a farm where there is plenty of room to move around, plenty of outdoor building opportunities, and a variety of animals to keep you company and that you can train/care for. It is not fine to be alone in a small suburban house day after day after day after day, just you and the tv. I would hate being stuck in this situation myself and wouldn't wish it on my DS either.

[Anonymous]

When I was 13, my parents would take me to some half a day camp, then drop me back at home during my dad's lunch break where I would read and watch tv and entertain myself. There were no kids my age near my house, so I don't think I could have stayed home 10 hours a day for a month alone. That might have drove me nuts, so I understand where you are coming from, OP.

Since your options are limited, I would go ahead and get a college student to come and take your 13 year old to activities, maybe even 3 days a week. There are so many cool things to do in DC, and I think it'll be fun for a 13 year old to experience them. If you go on care.com, there are so many college students looking for summer work. And this would be easier than entertaining a preschooler all day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was 13, my parents would take me to some half a day camp, then drop me back at home during my dad's lunch break where I would read and watch tv and entertain myself. There were no kids my age near my house, so I don't think I could have stayed home 10 hours a day for a month alone. That might have drove me nuts, so I understand where you are coming from, OP.

Since your options are limited, I would go ahead and get a college student to come and take your 13 year old to activities, maybe even 3 days a week. There are so many cool things to do in DC, and I think it'll be fun for a 13 year old to experience them. If you go on care.com, there are so many college students looking for summer work. And this would be easier than entertaining a preschooler all day

Better yet, you hand your 13-year-old a metro card, a DC guide book and a bit of cash, and you drop them off at Vienna, or whatever is the closest metro stop to this transportation wasteland you apparently live in.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't leave the kid home alone all summer but for a few weeks, why not? Kids don't need to be constantly doing something. It is the summer. Pick up some books at the library. Does he have summer reading to do? Give him a list of chores like my mom always did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I think it's actually a bad thing to book up up every hour. A 13 year old should be able to entertain himself at home during working hours for a month. period.

Yeah, but there's a difference between having some free time every day, and having 10 hours a day of solitary time... for 4 weeks. At home, no friends, no transportation. Period.

There are magical inventions called telephones. Also, legs. And bicycles. Unless the OP lives somewhere where it is impossible to bicycle to a park or a friend's house or on an errand, I still don't see this as a terrible prison sentence. Give him some chores, some reading, and some unstructured time. He'll figure it out.

Friends are usually away at camp these days. They aren't hanging around the house, and if they are there's no adult around so usually they aren't allowed to have another teen over.

Parks ... aren't really for 13 year olds. What's he going to do? Swing on the swing sets? With no buddy around to hang with?

I don't know that you can just assume a kid who, as you recall from OP's post, doesn't think it's a good idea for him to spend a month home alone, will "figure it out". A week, sure. A whole month sounds like a lot of alone time to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Oh, please. If leaving your kid alone for 10 hours would make him get into serious trouble, you've already got serious trouble on your hands. The only concern I'd have is leaving a 13 year old with unfettered internet access alone inside for that long - I'd probably have a porn addict on my hands in a couple of weeks. But unless you live in a REALLY bad neighborhood, there is NO more danger to having a kid walk down the street, knock on a neighbor's door, and offer to mow his lawn for $20 than there was 20 years ago or even in the 1940's.

I just think it is unlikely that anyone would be willing to hire a 13 year old kid to mow their lawn. Most people I know prefer older teens or adult lawn services (bonded/insured/etc) these days. And if I worked downtown and had my kid at home, a 45 minute commute away, I'd prefer he not be out mowing someone's lawn in all honesty.

Do you have a 13 year old yourself, right now?

What does he do during the summer? Is he out mowing lawns?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I spent all summer by myself at that age except for a 2 week sleepaway camp. I would read a ton of books and walk to/from the library for more. I think it was a 45 min walk to get there and 45 mins home. I would bring my backpack. I also babysat neighborhood kids and mowed a few lawns. I walked to the pool which was a 25 min walk. I slept in and watched the Price is Right at 11am while eating breakfast. I would also walk to the racetrack which was a 45 min walk but my mom never knew that. I was horse crazy and I would pay the $2 entrance fee to watch a few races. Those summers were the best! Your child will not wither b/c he has 20 days of unstructured time to himself. If you are worried he will spend all day online, etc, just change the wi-fi password. Maybe you can take off one or two afternoons early and do something he wants to do. I would also ride my bike around different subsections that I had never been to before. My friends would join me. We found a wooded area with a cool stream and mini waterfall once.

So you had friends around in the summer? They weren't all off at camp all summer... they were hanging out with you, going to the pool etc? Were their parents home or were you all home alone for 10 hours a day, together?

[Anonymous]

My son is thirteen. If you search, there are lots of fun camps. But it does take some searching. Look at theater companies. They often have camps. Also private middle schools and high schools have academic camps. Here is one from the university of maryland: http://www.summeredge.org/camp_programs/summer_scholars/

here is a computer camp for middle schoolers: http://www.internaldrive.com/locations/

here is a theater camp http://www.shakespearetheatre.org/info/education/expand-your-knowledge/camp-shakespeare/advanced-camp?utm_source=wordfly&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2013_01_08_CampShakespeareSubscriberBlast&utm_content=version_A&sourceNumber=0

and of course there are tons and tons of sport camps for that age. many at U. Maryland.

[Anonymous]

Mine is doing a mix of summer academic enrichment, volunteering, and a trip to Europe for a few weeks with friends (lucky dog!).

[Anonymous]

This thread shows how sad this generation is. I would have hated getting up early and going to camps all day every day in the summer. Have their every moment planned. Are kids not allowed to goof off and have a fun summer anymore? Sleep away camps all summer? UGH! Might as well send them to boarding school too. Does anyone spend time with their kids anymore? Does anyone allow their teens to be responsible and learn anything but sports, electronics and academics.

OP, can't you and DH take some days off at different times to do fun things. Can't you let him learn how to do stuff around the house and be on his own sometimes. Do "Manly" things? Set up a few times friends can come over. Not every teen in the DC metro has activities planned 12hrs a day.

[Anonymous]

Couldn't you and your hubby each spend a half day a week at home? That's only two vacation days total each. That way he would only be home all day alone three days a week, which should be fine.