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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't have a 13 year old yet... so this is my untested opinion... but I understand OP's concern of 4 completely unscheduled weeks.  I also understand the thought that at 13 he should be able to self-entertain.  (Lots of girl 13 year olds used to watch other people's kids ALL summer.)  I don't really think 4 weeks is unreasonably long given that there are weekends in between.  But, I think OP might be more comfortable with the 4 weeks if she and the child set up some semi-fun chores to accomplish so that it isn't just a completely unscheduled time.  That can be a little daunting (even though I believe he would do fine with it).  For instance, OP could you make a list of things you "need" the young man to do?  (Monday -- bake a cake.  Tues. wash the windows with windex, Wed. take care of the laundry, Thurs. mow the lawn, Fri. bike down to the nearest RedBox and get a movie, Monday put new bookshelf together, Tues. pick out 5 pictures from the photos (on the family camera or on the harddrive) to enlarge and order, Wed. sort the junk drawer, etc.  Give the kid ONE thing to accomplish during the day.  You and husband and the boy's mom will check in during the day and the rest of the time he can read or text or watch tv.  I think it is do-able if you add just a little structure so he has something to accomplish every day.  Plus, it gives him the opportunity to be responsible and contributing to the efficiency of the family.  That's a milestone for sure.[/quote]

Watching other people's kids is not unstructured.  If you are watching other people's kids all summer long, you have a very structured and not-at-all lonely summer.

If I assigned my kid chores to do while I was at work, they would not get done.  It would just lead to us fighting all summer.  I don't see what is wrong with camps, especially very unstructured camps.  The kid gets some freedom from their nagging, hyper parents.  In these days of hyper parenting, isn't that the best freedom?  And of course unstructured summers I think only occured from 1950 to about 1990.  Before 1950, the kids worked very very hard all summer long doing farm chores supervised by their parents and farm hands.  Before 1950, the vast majority of all people lived on family farms.  There is no way back to that world.  And no way back the 1950-1990 golden era either (although that era did produce some amazingly self-centered adults, so maybe those lazy summers were not such a great thing...)[/quote]

I think the chores would only work if the kid is begging to be left home alone all summer, and the parent has the ability to make alternate arrangements on short notice. Then the parent can use the chores for bargaining: do this to demonstrate you are responsible enough to stay home alone or you'll go stay with aunt Jane, go to camp, go to the office with me, etc. If this is not your situation, dropping the kid off at a pool, mall, the Smithsonian, etc. on your way to work (preferably with a friend) would work much better. [/quote]

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