what's the polite way to communicate with waiters/waitresses?

[Anonymous]

if it's a cute waitress, it never hurts to say "i'll have a........,toots" and then give a nice pat on their bottom....they appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not a favor. It is the person's job to take the order. "I will have the chicken, thanks," is totally acceptable at a restaurant. Obv if asking Grandma to make her chicken, please is in order.

Even if it is their job, why is it so hard to say "please"? Really, people, does it make you feel that much more superior to withhold please from a waitress when putting in your order? Is that how you fuel your ego?

It takes no more effort to be polite. Go for it.

Saying "I will have the caesar salad. Thank you," is completely acceptable. I do not feel superior (quite the contrary), nor do I I seek to make the exchange awkward with excessive pleases or thank yous. I used to have a friend who would thank waiters, etc., by saying "Thank you SO much." It just seemed excessive and a little awkward or patronizing. A simple thank you, as in, thank you for taking my order, is appropriate. It is also impolite to fall all over yourself thanking the little people for something that is their job--like you need to make up for how demeaning waitressing is in your mind with excessive thanks. Get over yourself.

I was a waitress in college and completely agree. Drop the SO. And make eye contact, please.

Thank you. I was saying to be appropriate but not overdo it--that makes it seem like you do not respect that this is their job. You are not at their home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you supposed to say thank you when they refill your drink ?

yes

[Anonymous]

Interesting thread. I insist that our children use "please" and "thank you" when we are in a restaurant or receiving any kind of service. Servers compliment their manners and thank me for instructing them in these courtesies. I rarely now need to say anything as they are accustomed to being gracious. Can't imagine why any parent would not encourage their children to use manners in any setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To those of you who think the server must do what you say, you're in denial. There's no rule saying the server can't spend 20 minutes walking around the restaurant, filling water glasses and talking to friendly guests, before they take the time to put your order in. There's no rule saying they and everyone in the kitchen won't fuck with your food. I was a server for 4 years before I finished culinary school. I've done front and back. The culinary world comes with very few perks other than being able to silently fuck up your night. I will laugh when your food comes out 40 minutes after you order, and I will laugh harder knowing what has happened to it.

Be kind to the people who help you get what you want.

And when we realize, as we usually do, what has happened to the food, you get no tip and often a call the next day to your manager, complaining about the poor service. With your luck, it will be a reviewer that you fuck with, and there go your ratings and reputation. Karma, darling.

I can guarantee you, you have no idea what your steak was dipped in or dropped on. 10 years in the restaurant industry and I don't eat out anymore.

I worked in restaurants for almost 15 years - everything from diners to fine dining - and never once did I see anyone do something gross with a patron's food. Restaurant workers are, for the most part, really decent, hard working people who are just trying to earn a living. They're not deviants out to hurt anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not a favor. It is the person's job to take the order. "I will have the chicken, thanks," is totally acceptable at a restaurant. Obv if asking Grandma to make her chicken, please is in order.

Even if it is their job, why is it so hard to say "please"? Really, people, does it make you feel that much more superior to withhold please from a waitress when putting in your order? Is that how you fuel your ego?

It takes no more effort to be polite. Go for it.

Saying "I will have the caesar salad. Thank you," is completely acceptable. I do not feel superior (quite the contrary), nor do I I seek to make the exchange awkward with excessive pleases or thank yous. I used to have a friend who would thank waiters, etc., by saying "Thank you SO much." It just seemed excessive and a little awkward or patronizing. A simple thank you, as in, thank you for taking my order, is appropriate. It is also impolite to fall all over yourself thanking the little people for something that is their job--like you need to make up for how demeaning waitressing is in your mind with excessive thanks. Get over yourself.

I was a waitress in college and completely agree. Drop the SO. And make eye contact, please.

Thank you. I was saying to be appropriate but not overdo it--that makes it seem like you do not respect that this is their job. You are not at their home.

Where in the posts that you quote does anyone mention overdoing it? The poster above you simply says insert please and thank you into requests to your waiter.

Might be worth brushing off your reading comprehension skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I usually say, "May I have the duck a l'orange, please?" Everyone, be like me.

This is me. I also so thank you when they take the menus and bring the food. It's so easy to be that extra bit of nice.